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Unread 02-13-2013, 03:09 PM
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Default How to use Facebook Chat like a Pro

As some of you who have been reading my posts have observed, there is this one girl I have a slight oneitis for. She ended up liking some of my stuff on my Facebook page, even though I was not friends with her. I ended up adding her and then after that did nothing else. I decided that I would give it a couple days and then hit her up with a message if she didn't already try to contact me.

Now, it has been a couple days, and tonight I plan on initiating a conversation with her. Of course, a weak area of mine that I'm still unsteady about is text openers, especially those on Facebook. It goes along the lines of being unable to decide whether I want to go entertaining on the first shot or try to open her up comfortably.

So, in the effort of properly preparing myself for this first opener with her, I have done some extensive reading and research into texting and Facebook law. This guide here is my completed effort into what to do for any type of initialization.


I give credit for resources to GunsnGlory, for his incredible texting guide, along with the other 30 pages I visited on how to initiate and maintain a conversation on Facebook.

******************** ********************

Although many masters on here would argue that the art of picking up women over Facebook is cliche, we can't help but wonder about some scenarios. What if we know the girl? What if she friend requested us? What if she has some mutual friends?

There's so many factors that goes into thinking about this that it is really hard to NOT think what the potential outcome could be. Of course she's dropping an ioi by liking your photos or friend requesting you. Naturally, you would want to send her a message, right? Sure, you could, but what would it be?

To make the rest of the guide easier to compile and explain, we'll go over the three main types of openers on Facebook.

++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++
The Oddball Opener
-----------

This is the craziest of all of the openers here. This opener is designed to be so ridiculous and entertaining, that it catches her attention and causes her to basically fall over laughing.

An example of this opener would be the typical favorite to use:

"Hey, do you have a job? I need a woman who is able to support me while I play video games all day."

Out of the three openers, this one is the most volatile. It can trigger reactions ranging from pure entertainment to outright rejection. User discretion is advised.

The Rapport Opener
-----------

This opener does as the title says. It is designed to instantly build rapport in the first message, which leads to comfort, which leads to an easy response.

This opener is the least vulnerable of the three to be rejected or put under negativity. The opener involves using a relation to a common friend, city, activity, and so on, to break down her walls and get her more comfortable with you.

The Simplicity Opener
-----------

As the title suggests, this opener is extremely simple. It is in the middle of the two for being considered vulnerable to rejection, but it is the easiest way to start a conversation.

When doing the simplicity opener, all one does is say "Hey", along with an accompanying question. Although questions like "what's up?" and "how's it going?" are the usual basics, they will most likely cause neutral responses. Questions like "What are you up to?" and "Haven't seen you around in a while" are more likely to draw out engagement, however they are also vulnerable to being ignored.

Then again, any question is.

The Do-Not-Use Opener
-----------

These kind of openers shall warrant instant failure on a crash and burn level. These includes creepy things like:

"Hey, blah blah blah, you're really cute, blah blah blah, give me your number."

They can also include outright absurd or inappropriate things like "Obama sucks", "Death to the Atheists", or "Boobies!". These kinds of responses will only draw negativity to you and give you a really REALLY bad name.

++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++

Now that we have gone over the three main types of openers (and the ones you should DEFINITELY never use), let's get to the meat of things: initiating a conversation.

To make this easier to understand and figure out where and when to use each kind of opener and how to approach the conversation, I have divided this into the three main scenarios that one would ever deal with.

Scenario 1: You Don't Know Her
---------------

And here we begin at Ground Zero. You don't know the lovely lady, but there is the possibility that you share some commonality, like mutual friends, school, work, city, and so on.

So how do we go about with approaching a girl of this type?

Well, all three openers could apply here, but it depends on the context. If the two of you have a mutual thing in common, you can easily open using the Rapport Opener. This takes down any shields she has and allows you to better socialize with her. If you don't have anything in common, your best bet would be to use the Oddball Opener. Although the Simplicity Opener is nice, it can easily be ignored in this case. The Oddball Opener will instantly draw her attention and get her into the conversation.

To maintain conversation in this scenario, your main priority should be to build comfort. She doesn't even know you, so you want to establish yourself as a nice, entertaining guy. Get her engaged in the conversation, and throw in a few rapport builders when you can. When re-initiating conversation, wait to do so for two or three days, unless she does so ahead of time.

Scenario 2: You Know Her a Little Bit
---------------

This is about halfway in between Scenarios 1 and 3, depending on how well you know her. You have meet the lovely lady a few times, but have had no real conversations with her.

As with all of the scenarios, any of the three openers are available for usage. I would advise against using the Oddball Opener, though. I have field tested this, and have discovered with girls that I sort of know usually get engaged for a slight bit out of interest, and then usually drop off all together. Your best bet is to go with a Rapport Opener or a Simplicity Opener. The Simplicity Opener is extremely friendly, while the Rapport Opener is even more so. Problem is, you will discover that to use the Rapport Opener on a daily basis without warrant by a post or event is a very unhealthy thing. Your best bet, in this situation, is to stick with simplicity.

To maintain conversation in this scenario, you should aim to get her comfortable. The two of you barely know each other, however you know more than the 1st scenario. Thus you should aim to not only build comfort, but also rapport as well. When the conversation ends, wait to re-initiate with her for two or three days.

Scenario 3: You Know Her Very Well
---------------

This is the easiest of all three scenarios. You know the target incredibly well, and depending on how the two of you associate, you could be friends, best friends, a simple acquaintanceship, whatever floats your boat.

When it comes to this scenario, you can also use all three openers. The Oddball Opener may entertain her, but be careful. If she has known you a certain way for a while, she may become a tad bit freaked out by a really weird opener. The Rapport Opener can be used in any variety of contexts now. If you see a post or picture that you recognize an aspect of, you can bring it up without fear of her thinking of you as a stalker. Lastly, the Simplicity Opener, as always, will work. However, don't use it often, or otherwise she will simply get bored.

To maintain conversation with her, aim to establish yourself as entertaining. She already knows you extremely well, and she's comfortable with you, thus rapport and comfort are not a necessity. As with the other two scenarios, you should re-initiate conversation every two or three days unless she does so.

++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++

In all of the scenarios above, the two most important things to do are to be yourself, and to not be clingy. Girls appreciate sincerity, but they do not like it when a guy is too dependent on an outcome involving the two of you.

******************** ********************

Right now, I have just initiated a conversation that I feel I am well prepared for. So far, I am getting her engaged to an extent. Not very energetic responses, because she is tired, but I feel like I can get her going soon enough.

Wish me luck, and I shall do the same onto you.

__________________
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Swagman For This Useful Post:
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Unread 02-13-2013, 03:58 PM
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Default Re: How to use Facebook Chat like a Pro

Well, that conversation didn't last long.

Here goes what I got:

Me: Hey! How's it going?
Her: It's going good hbu
Me: Same, just taking a study break
Her: Sounds nice
Me: Yea. So how has your day been good?
Her: I've been really tired.
Me: Ohh, I know how you feel. Only got five hours last night.

She didn't respond for another twenty minutes. I was thinking about sending a neg like "Well it seems like you're too tired to chat, so I'm just going to head off", but she logged off then.

The conversation does look boring when I look at it, but I felt like any other kind of opener would have just been weird to her. I hit her with a question that would engage her and get her going a bit, and then I tried building minor rapport by putting myself into the same situation as her.

I was thinking about trying again tomorrow, and if she seemed like the same way, I was just going to hit her with a false qualifier along the lines of this:

"Well you don't seem interesting or fun at all, so I'm just gonna go now. Have a nice day."

Although I really don't care where this goes now, considering she's just another fish in the sea, I would like input outside of my own if there is any. Is there anything you notice that I could possibly be wrong on?

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Unread 02-13-2013, 06:01 PM
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Default Re: How to use Facebook Chat like a Pro

I don't want to burst your bubble but you could of just asked any opener and start a conversation. I opened a girl by complimenting her on how she take good pictures, she though it was sarcastic so I negged her on it and she understood. Next thing you know we're sexting and chilling. facebook game is just like texting, if you know how to make a person laugh or interested on text, it'll be a piece of cake on facebook


 
Unread 02-13-2013, 07:51 PM
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Default Re: How to use Facebook Chat like a Pro

Yea, I flopped. I think it's because I'm so prepared for a scenario where I get an invite from her to chat with her that I'm not prepared for a simple dead start. I guess I can invest some time into figuring that out, wouldn't hurt to know how to start from a dead start if the occasion ever came around.

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Unread 02-13-2013, 08:11 PM
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Default Re: How to use Facebook Chat like a Pro

I'd never recommend the " Hey! How's it going?" opener, especially if you're trying to game this chick. It's as cliche as they come.

Solid guide, though! +1


 
Unread 02-13-2013, 08:53 PM
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Default Re: How to use Facebook Chat like a Pro

Yea, I don't know why, but I feel like I've been moving backwards towards being an AFC, although I have actually been more social and successful. It's really annoying, but I suppose it's just one of those phases.

Good thing there's a Valentine's Day social coming up this Friday. I'll definitely get some practice out of that

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Unread 02-13-2013, 08:56 PM
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Default Re: How to use Facebook Chat like a Pro

Stop making yourself senarios, its like making a plan to game a girl, when you go upfront and try your ''Script'' you stress out.

Remember when you went to talk to that chick at a party or what ever activity you were at and everything went well, you weren't even thinking about PUA and all just went well. That's going with the flow and its way better not planing your moves.

Okay sure you can think of an opener but the rest should come naturally.

And I agree with ED11356, ''Hey how's it going ? I'm that guy who says that like every guy'' Try something new, if you've talked to her before, come up with a nickname to add or w/e.. Don't be like most guys and you'll be aigh'


 
Unread 02-13-2013, 08:59 PM
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Default Re: How to use Facebook Chat like a Pro

fb chat runs through fb private messaging, so if you start a convo over chat, it will be sent as a pm, so yeah i tend not to eject and say bye because the convo can be carried over a long duration


 
Unread 02-13-2013, 09:42 PM
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Default Re: How to use Facebook Chat like a Pro

Quote:
Originally Posted by ablindman9 View Post
Stop making yourself senarios, its like making a plan to game a girl, when you go upfront and try your ''Script'' you stress out.

Remember when you went to talk to that chick at a party or what ever activity you were at and everything went well, you weren't even thinking about PUA and all just went well. That's going with the flow and its way better not planing your moves.

Okay sure you can think of an opener but the rest should come naturally.

And I agree with ED11356, ''Hey how's it going ? I'm that guy who says that like every guy'' Try something new, if you've talked to her before, come up with a nickname to add or w/e.. Don't be like most guys and you'll be aigh'
Speaking naturally, yes, I have a very easy time doing that. It's very easy for me to build attraction in person. However, texting is still one of my weak areas, and it's not showing much improvement in terms of trying to pick up people. It's mainly because I don't know how to kick it off at first. It's not that I don't know how to do it. I've been having a very entertaining conversation that has been running for almost a week now with one of my close female friends. That's the thing though: I've known her for four years, so of course it's easy.

Texting and messaging IS script, it's all about script, you get all the time you want to plan out what you are going to say.

Like I've said before, I know her only a little, so I can't come up with a nickname out of nowhere, and I was having a ton of difficulty finding resources on how to initiate Facebook conversations with women you DO know. I can tell you from about an hour of searching that it's really easy to find the opposite. I can also tell you that almost all of the Facebook openers here on this forum are NOT designed for college students.

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Unread 02-13-2013, 09:57 PM
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Default Re: How to use Facebook Chat like a Pro

I have to say it can be hard if the person doesn't know you. But if you've had something in the past, you can always bring it up.

Once on facebook, I opened a girl randomly for the heck of it, asked her what's up that its been awhile from I heard from her. She agreed and we started talking from there. Got her number and when I was hanging with a bud of mine, I invited her to join us on phone, she agreed and came. We smoked talked and hung out. I later found out she didn't go out as often, each time I texted her and flirted with her, she was at home and was rather boring so.. I kind of backed off, she eventually blocked me on facebook for I don't know what reason but I don't care. It was hard to hang out with her since when we hung out the first time, she moved out a week later.

Basicly, imagine texting as in Pick up with time reactions. You got time to think of a good neg or an opener. I'll also add that texting is harder on people you lost contact with or somewhat. Hang outs and over the phone are the best.

We all have our weakness, before I used to talk about girls about my problems then I wondered why I couldn't get them anymore. They were crazy attracted then backed off. I realized after a couple of fails that I was really being an AFC demonstration so much low value. Now I don't do that no more, because not only in PUA but in general. People don't care about your problems.

Ciao :>


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