what is best reply on this status I see all the time on FB

What would be a good cocky and confident response to the status of HB on facebook when the post this status...

"Every woman deserves a man who calls her baby, kisses her like he means it, holds her tight like he never wants to let go, doesn't make her jealous of other women but instead makes other women jealous of her. Is not afraid to let his friends know how he really feels about her and lets her know how much she means to him"! I know everyone who has facebook sees this all the time and most men respond like "that's me " or "I am that guy" but the girl usually never replies..
Anyone got a amazing response for this, this girl I used to work with posted it and I used to talk to her and flirt with her a little bit I don't kno too much about her she likes to party and she likes cartoons that's mainly it ... like I said besides that point I have seen this numerous times on here, so not just for my help but a lot of other people wondering the same thing ..

Say something to the contrary for men to women...
"Every man deserves a woman who will not force him to watch Eat, Pray, Love. Who lets him play poker with his buddies and let him watch football without interruption. A woman who doesn't mind to get him a snack once in a while when he is hungry. A woman who laughs at his jokes and orders something other than a salad or chicken fingers on dates. A woman who can order a beer and buffalo wings. Find that woman and you will find your so called man."