How To Get Over Shyness

practice. just put yourself out there. challenge yourself

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Las Vegas Party Animal

I agree with you Rocketman.. If you allow more "dead air" before initiating a conversation, it will make you more hesitant and your confidence drops..

I am generally shy as well but I figured that my shyness won't go away but the opportunities I miss might never come around again... so I shyly make friends, I shyly smile at a guy eventhough I don't know him, I shyly dance with strangers, I shyly make small talk, and I shyly give away my number to really interesting guys.

I remained shy but at least I accomplished something! hehe.

It's also a great idea to warm yourself up before you go sarging. In one of Style's phone conferences, he said that a great thing to do is to call someone you enjoy talking to while you're on the way to your venue. If you start talking to anyone and keep a good conversation going, once you get into your venue you'll already be in that mode.

Along the same lines, I have a favorite song that I like to listen/sing to before sarging; Caress Me Down by Sublime. This song always puts me in an amazing mood, and by singing it (loud) in my car, I get my vocal muscles prepared to project. Try this out. Believe me, you'll feel amazing by the time you get wherever you're going.

And one final thing: from Style himself (same phone conference), for some people, shyness will never ever go away. Style himself even said that 90% of the time, before sarging he NEVER wants to go out and do it! He wants to do exactly what I did for a year, which is just sit around and wait for women to show up on his front door (not likely). And when he approaches any set, as I still feel to this day, there's that stupid voice inside your head shouting "go home, forget this and stay where it's safe." Once you accept that that voice may always be there, it's a lot easier to tell it to screw off and you just push through.

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-Ambition

One forumer suggested in another thread (I forgot which) to use visualization tactics. Shyness is a malady that never goers away. Even performance artists are usually often shy. So you just visualize doing what you really want to be doing, to help you anticipate what problems there could be, where you're likely to falter, etc.

And I guess, start small. Milestones crossed may be surer this way, and not because of luck.

What if you blow up the 3 second rule? Is there any way where you can redeem yourself?

Yeah... especially for newbies like me who still do a lot of hesitating, how do we redeem ourselves? I know some girls think it's cute that you were shy but that's luck.

this is huge mate and alludes to that "meta-game" that goes beyond the pick up.... but on to the motivation that inspires us to play this game of which PUA is a skill set or microcosm of the self.

i will meditate in to this but will maybe get 1 or 2% into what you have opened up. You legend

Shyness is a big obstacle in picking up women. In order to perfect or just even be good in picking up women, one must develop its personal aspects. One of which is confidence. Developing one's confidence before going going to the field can greatly help in initiating a convo with a girl. Immerse yourself with a wide variety of people to hone one's social skills.

Not sure if it has been suggested here (too lazy to backread) but it might help a shy person to give himself really personal, valid, good, major things to say YES to that would require one to overcome shyness. Just like an election campaign... do you say YES to the fear and mope in your room again tonight or do you say yes to more fun, more girls, more sex, and possibilities for a serious, mushy relationship!?!

Confidence is built through having faith in one's ability to succeed and having proof of doing this over and over. Confidence is built through repetition and we can program ourselves

This helps a ton for shy beginners...

Imagine.. A Dude!! Yeah. Not a handsome guy, not a cool guy, not a guy you want to be your friend, just a guy. Plain ol guy. Maybe next to you on the bus, or sitting next to you in class. It's fine to talk to them. You dont want anything from them, they don't want anything from you. You're only chatting because there's nothing better to do, nowhere to go, and no sense in being rude. Besides, niether of you are talking to anybody else anyways?

This makes it easier to talk about things that interest you, and things you like, more likely to take the heat of anythign that can even be viewed as a segway to romantics, just chat chat. banter. passing the time. Don't stare at her too much, and dont compliment her. Don't think about or stare at her dreamy lips, eyes, busty busty, curves, clothes, anything. You can "comment" on her drink food, the location, anythign you might have percieved about her, or some of her flair.. but the tallest compliment you should lay is 'thats (whatever it is) nice' and be sure not to be staring at her or guaging reaction, sometimes during 1/2 compliments you even want to glance away as you say it or change subject or let something else catch your attention just afterword.. almost like it didnt mean anything, it will mean more to her.

This works well with 9.5-10s. these girls, amazingly don't get hit on as much as the 7-8's and when they doo, usually its some skeezer/sleeze (in her eyes) trying to be all don juan and he guard is up. Approach her like some dude, talk sports or fishing, and keep your body perpendicular to hers/ faced away, turning your head to talk to her but being open to scanning other things going on, and she'll probably be more receptive and open up a little.

..a thats what I've heard

BadMed.. haha, hard as it may be to imagine a busty, sweet-smeilling chick as a dude but I will remember this tip. True, you'll never compliment a guy on his looks (oh, wow, what strong biceps you have!) and you're not likely to supplicate by immediately offering to pay her way or whatever.

a while ago i was really out and chatting and upbeat and lately i find myself receding and deciding not to take up one or 2 options..... its a form of depression. i am not as upbeat as i am when i am practicing being upbeat and every time i spark myself back in the game i get another dose of that energy.

i go manic on too much of that energy and i relate to mystery with his manic depression issues as my personality too has that blessing and the curses that go with it

cognitive behavioural therapy says that if i do a pleasurable event, which for me is talking to a babe, then i get more spark to do another and another and I can start building a chaining effect. Most retards in hospitals and outpatients clinics with these conditions have no real big picture of how such conditions and the treatments offered can benefit us and all humanity, they want to go for an ice cream at a sea side town and pat a dog or something.... and the psychologist keeps them retards cos they believe they always are and they get pleasure from authority approval and some medication.

I just wanna lick p***y

This is something that happened to me in the days when I was very very shy, I was out with my friends, and there in the yard in front of the club there was a group of other people I mostly know. One of my friends from that group came to my group and said how he made a bet there with one girl of his group that he'll find her someone to seduce her. So he came to in search for volunteers
I volunteered after he said that she is pretty and smart. Well, I came there, opened with opinion opener, hit few negs and soon she said to him "why did you bring this guy, we are talking but he is not picking me up, not even trying to seduce me?"... She was 8, cute, but not my type. Anyway, we talked little more, she was rather arrogant (5 needy guys were with her all night), and in the end she said "look, you would have come to me anyway since I'm hot, but with this material you have no chance", I told her "no way, you are not my type." I guess, that night many guys approached her, however, she wasn't the best girl around if you ask me. That was my beggining to overcome shyness. I went there.

To me, 8s are the most complicated, since they have most approaches, they are often very conceited. I guess that they become boring as a result.

Yeah, some girls can get quite conceited because they're hot. I've met a girl before who'd lord it over the guys that everybody wants her, when in fact, those that want her just really want to bang her but aren't into her as a person.

Anyway, to the shy, just continue with your newbie missions.

there has to be something attractive about her more than just looks to bother trying to pick her up. she needs to offer something other than attitude and enmity to be a worthy target. it is a compliment to be picked up, not a right. she doesn't say who picks her up. some chicks reckon they are worth a bit more than they are. and many chumps with status of some sort reinforce it.

i see 1 or 2 chicks who are used to minor celebrities and sportsmen fawning over them. the guys are the biggest chumps as they rely on their celebrity and money and they have no game and very little idea of inner game.

if a chick doesn't want to be picked up i get the message and aint gonna harass. why would i want to harass a bitch unless of course i wanna take the piss out of her

when dealing with a woman we are dealing with an ego of the most self obsessed variety. its favourite subject is itself and it needs to be told about itself. if it is playing games and not offering anything and actually making it more difficult then she is not playing with me, she is wasting mine and her time

good on you for telling this chick there is nothing there. she probably never got it and reckons she is pretty Sh1t hot to this day. people like that never get it that they are tools and many people actually can't work with them. pray for her, one day she might wake up

Cheesy advice, but I keep a post-it on my bathroom mirror that reads "You know what? I'm the f***ing man!" It gets me into my mindset daily.

To those that ask what to do once you have blown the three second rule:

If you haven't already started to meet people, and you have been kind of lurking. You can somewhat recover by doing two things. First, establish your space. Grab a drink. Take a seat, and sit back and people watch. But do it in a nice relaxed way. Make it look like you are just chilling because you want to relax. Affect a slightly disinterested relaxed attitude. As you drink your drink, slowly look around the room. Find some targets. After look at them like they "might" be worth your time. Then leisurely saunter over to them and open them.

Basically, if you don't immediately start opening people, then you need to establish a reason for being by yourself. If you stand next to the wall and look nervous you will instantly be pegged as an AFC. So instead, establish that you are just there to relax, and take a totally disinterested attitude. That will give you sometime to get your game ready. However, it is much better to open immediately if possible, but this will give you a little bit of a breather. Since I am in an area where there aren't really clubs, just some bars, I will commonly walk in and not see anyone I really want to open. Sometimes I will go just meet everyone anyway, but sometimes I just don't want to expend the energy when there isn't anything to go after. The above technique is great for that scenario.

Shyness is one of the first steps to start becoming more attractive to women I should. Once I got rid of my shyness I was more confident and more girls wanted me.