Why don't girls go for nice guys?

Why don't girls like nice guys? It makes no sense to me... all of my friends who are girls keep telling me that they just want to find a nice guy, but then they all end up falling for bad boys? WTF!?!?

This is what I think...

Ever wondered why chicks go for "jerks"? In reality, most of these ass holes aren't just ass holes, they're simply untouchable. They do things on their own terms and follow their own rules. They can't be negotiated with by normal people. They act with a sense of authority and get the respect that goes along with it. They can't be tested (and if they are they usually pass) and they maintain independence from normal social rules.

This is the kind of independence that Hollywood has glorified, because it's a position that commands both respect and authority. Chicks string guys along until they find a guy that they can't string along. Then that woman's attention will suddenly center 100% on this new guy and the guys who were being strung along are pretty much forgotten. It's independence, a trait strongly attractive in both sexes that shows you have high confidence and don't have to depend on anyone for your well being. Independence in guys can be thought of as "Seducing Chicks Without Even Trying". To an outside observer, you're not trying to pick up the chicks in question. Instead, you carry on as if chicks aren't that important to you. While seemingly arrogant, it somehow strikes a psychological chord with many chicks.

We all know about how Pamela Anderson has been with Kid Rock. Before Kid Rock, she had a well-publicized and video capture relationship with Tommy Lee of 80's rock band Motley Cru?. Consider some of the lyrics she probably heard;

"Girl don't go away mad, just go away..." (Motley Cru?)
"I'm not straight out of Compton, I'm straight out of the trailer..." (Kid Rock)
"It's the same old situation, it's the same old ball and chain..." (Motley Cru?)
"Because I want to be a cowboy, baby..." (Kid Rock)

So what do these hot chicks see in bad boys?

Two words come to mind, RISK and INDEPENDENCE. Since girls are not really ready to be responsible for being "bad" themselves (risk taking /adventure seeking), they find it incredibly attractive when they find guys who are "bad". These are guys who are willing and prepared to take ridiculous risks and have adventures and along the way, will then encourage the chicks to be bad themselves. That's a great deal of the appeal of a bad boy. Even if the woman is somewhat bad, she's still morally better than he is in most cases. And that's very attractive to her. She can be as bad as she wants, and she knows the guy will be even more of a bad ass.

The other thing is that bad boys are perceived as guys who have more "wild fun" than "nice guys". And they show chicks how to have more fun. Bad boys like their lives and live to their potential and beyond it. Chicks seem to find their massive energy and self-confidence amazingly attractive. When chicks find these traits in some random nice guy, they usually marry him. When they find it in a bad boy, they usually just sleep with him? which is what the bad boy wants anyways!

If you want plenty of casual sex, consider taking on the aura of a "bad boy". Or in more common terms, become a bad boy. Then put yourself in an environguyst where chicks are looking for guys like you, and you'll find many vying for your attention.

I think this the reason so called "nice guys" don't get easy sex. And when these "nice guys" are out in the bars, they make it even easier for the bad boys to get first night sex because nice guys help make the bad boys stand out in a crowd!!!

I used to be a nice guy and thought that if I did things nice for a girl all the time, that she would really like me for being so nice.

WHAT A MISTAKE THIS IS!!!!

There are definitely times for being nice to a girl, and there are definitely many times where it works in your favor to not be nice to a girl. I think for me, I try to be nice to them AFTER we have sex or have established an intimate connection.

Until then, I try to be a little bit aloof, and remain the cool, calm, social guy that I know will attract her.

Being nice is OK at a future point in the relationship, after she has earned you being nice.

Chance

I agree with both of you guys...Except for one thing, Chicks do dig a nice guy but the nice guy has to learn how to put a cap on his niceness, with that being said, its ok to open a door from time to time and even give a compliment, you would just have to learn to look at these things as something that normally happens and dont put too much effort in it.

I find it that if you remain mysterious, mellow and cheeky as the brits like to call it lol, then you might have a good combo of characteristics to go for yourself. The down fall of the nice guy is that he wants to be liked and adored so much that he is willing to lose all self respect to get the attention he wants...this is why you may go to a club or bar and see that one guy that may be hanging around with all the hot chicks, except for he's in the friend zone ( it sends chills down my back to even mention this place, a PUA's worst enemy) he's the one buying all the drinks and paying for them in all the clubs and at the end of the nite he spends the nite with his hands. He is willing to spend his last dollar or last ounce of energy to make sure that she is happy. Learn the balance between nice and asshole its tough but possible.

Above all just be yourself calm, cool and collected not shakened by any womens oppinion about yourself, their not you only you can show them that...did you get it

Until next time-peace

Dahn - I agree. I can be very nice to women and charming - but I won't be a wuss. Girls do NOT like wussy's. I look out for myself first, but I always try to take the time and energy that everyone around me is having fun. I may buy that first round, but I also do it in a fun way that shows that we are all just having fun. If someone implies that I need to buy them drinks, I just smile and say - "That's cute" and remain unphased. I think as the leader of the group, my job is to ensure that everyone is having a good time, but not in a needy approval seeking way.

I am alpha... but I also take care of my group (as a true alpha does).

Bill

AMEN BROTHER...I raise my cup to that

Hey fellas -

It is hard to be both nice to a girl you care about but also act like a real man. It is a delicate balance between being nice and not being a total wuss. Anyone have any advice on how to balance this?

Its not as hard as you think, stay interested in her listen to her when she talks pay for drinks every once in a while (not every time). On the other hand sometimes when she wants to hang out turn her down, make her wait sometimes when she wants you to do such and such...for me this breeds a form of anticipation and longing if you do this every once and a while it will show that your putting the P.O.A.P (excuse my English but that means Pussy On A Pedd) It means you hav a life and have other things to do with it. She will respect that a lot more

Me with my gurlfriend I reward her my attention when I feel that she deserves it if I feel she doesnt than I dont its that simple. This is only advice go for it if you want

-Until next time

Definitely rewarding behavior that you like is a great way to encourage it to happen again...