Being picky...got me thinking.

Something I've always been confused by. I was reading that men with lots of options are picky because they can be and because they are good with women.

I've never been good with women, but I have always been picky. Every once in a while I'm not because of mood/hormones but most of the time I am pretty choosy when it comes to women. I've also used it as an excuse not to pursue a girl though, like if a girl is attractive but doesn't seem interesting in other ways, I won't approach her (forget the fact that I'm afraid to approach any women regardless). But like seeing women day to day, usually the only thing you have to go on is looks, I guess this could be good for practice since I don't really know much about them. My questions are:

A. How did I get this way? Shouldn't I be more desperate given my history?

B. Perhaps should I be a little more open?

C. How can I turn this to my advantage in meeting new women?

In fact, I have a girl friend that tells me stories about all the insane and stupid things boys have done to get her attention and she's only about a 7. In a lot of ways I'm ahead of the curve because I don't chase girls, or displaying wussy behavior. but I'm also not really moving anywhere, and I think I betray lack of confidence in other ways, like body language, and not wanting to talk about my interests, etc.
Any insight into this would be most appreciated. Maybe someone had a similar experience.

ionos,

Check it out man. I think it is very good to be unpicky with women for many reasons. One, you get used to dating them and you can date many. Two, sometimes women you don't think you will like will be really cool. Three, girls have friends.

Honestly, start wherever you are at and start hanging out and flirting with ALL the girls you can. Being picky is a very bad choice.. you will know when it is time to be picky (for instance when it is time to settle down with a long term relationship).

When single, date as often as possible with as many women as possible.

Try it out. It worked WONDERS for me.

Bill has got a point.
Im working with a wing right now that just got into the game...he only wants to approach the hottest girls around. Problem is, that when he does, he stutters and freezes. I explained to him, we are not trying to pick up, were just working on step one (Open) and he is anticipating the outcome of step 10.

You want to get to know people out there, become more social. Yes, girls have other girlfriends, you will meet sooo many exciting people so don't close that off. Be picky with the one you decide to settle down with, be open minded to everyone that crosses your path. Remember, when you are the cool mofo to be around with, girls and guys will speak highly of you, girls especially.

That in itself will open their friends for you. A girlfriend may introduce you to the girl of your dreams, you don't want to lose that opportunity do you?

Thanks Cedius, I have really began to think of it in those terms. Why turn down a friendship? I see a lot of people still operate this way. They go into a setting where there are young adults and they assess whether or not they want to date you, and if not they lose interest and move on. In fact, they may even leave the group if there are no date-able girls there.

I'm seeing this is such a narrow way to experience life. You miss out on all kinds of opportunities and interesting people this way. Even when it comes to befriending middle-aged or older people. Maybe they have a cute granddaughter or connections, or maybe they can teach me a lesson or just help me to expand my social skills. In fact, people you aren't interested in are often the easiest to interact with because there is worrying about the outcome or added Tension with them.

Once you realize it is not all about getting laid... but bringing love to everyone around you... you will get laid more than you could ever imagine.

lol, here's to that.

Seriously, I think it's your issues about people (how to approach them, maybe even how to handle rejection, etc) is what made you picky... and that you're not inflexible by nature. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here and want to reach out to them, women especially.

Like what Bill said, best to reach out and open up, than not to learn at all.

you just have standards its not a bad thing

dont be picky, give everyone a chance cus you will have new reference experiences.

Well, it really depends on "how" you are being picky.

If you won't pick up anyone that doesn't fit your 124 "must haves" then you might have a problem.
For simplicity sakes, let's say you like 10 things. If the girl has 1 of those things, I wouldn't go for it. If she has 5, maybe she can have more? It's a good start anyways.
No one is that simple, but the points stands.

As we keep saying women are different, well, so are men.
For a time in my life I was like you might be now, judging from what you said, I ONLY EXCLUSIVELY wanted to have something with girls I really liked. Most of them were great looking, but it was something more. I really didn't care about the others.
So well, if you are happy being that way, keep living your life. No one said you need to bang 5 chicks at a time and 1 different chick each week for when one of the 5 want to marry or something.