We have all been in this situation

First i will give you brief background about myself, I am a Melbourne boy, attending high school, i go to an all boys school which is a problem, i don't have any trouble making conversation with males or females. My problem is, there is this girl that i have known since i was roughly 13, it's been 4 years since then. I was put into the friend zone because i had no confidence back then. For some reason four years later i have feelings for her, (not an obsession) , the questions i ask myself are

What should i do

Exclude her from my life?
keep making her jealous?
Risk all and try make something of our relationship?
or do what I am doing now which is going for girls but continue talking to her

Ps.
I always get into comfortable conversations with girls BUT for some reason i never kiss them unless they make the move. Could this be a mind frame that the girl above has created, for some reason i fear being rejected while kissing, but not while attempting to make conversation.

Let's see if we can get 5-10, and feed off each others brains!

I think you should definitely continue going after other girls and let her see you hanging out with these girls (it can be in person or even via posting pictures on facebook). Be sure to keep in contact with this gal, and flirt with her quite bit. You need to make it clear to her that you are desired by other women, and you also need to show her that you are attracted to her (make her earn it a bit by having her qualify herself to you). Tease her a lot, and also make little comments like you guys can't hang out because you would be too tempted to kiss her (shows confidence and desire) and it would ruin your friendship (by trumping her to this comment, she now will try to prove to you that you guys should hang out).

The above comment is almost like telling a girl she shouldn't come over because you don't want things to go too far. But let her come over if she promises to be good... it works wonders.

Nice response Encore thanks a lot!
I will definitely use the " I can't hang out because I would be too tempted to kiss you and it would ruin the friendship we have" line.

Any thoughts on the second part of my question?
"I always get into comfortable conversations with girls BUT for some reason i never kiss them unless they make the move. Could this be a mind frame that the girl above has created, for some reason i fear being rejected while kissing, but not while attempting to make conversation."


does anyone else have a different view or tips different to Encores?

On the kiss close. What I tend to do is when I think it's the right time to kiss them I just look them in the eyes and smile, then at their lips then back to their eyes. They will usually confirm that they want to kiss you by smiling back and holding your eye contact almost giving you permission to go in for the kiss.

I think if you tried this it will get rid of the uncertainty of whether they will reject you or not.

Jack

Another good thing to get confirmation from them if you're worried about rejection is to touch their hair. If they are happy with you doing that you can kiss them.

thanks guys

Wow grex, interesting to see another guy who's 17 and has the EXACT same problems. I know how it feels man. Thanks to Encore and Smooth for the helpful reply's.

In my case, I do tease a lot, and she basically has the impression that my standards are astronomical. That's kind of true, but nevertheless she has never seen me with another girl who wasn't just another one of my friends. I also tend to shoot her down a lot when she talks about herself...

For example:
"the only good thing about these pants is that my ass looks great in them." - "it's nothin' special..I've seen better...much better."

Thing is, when we're in a group, she try's to reply with something equally demoralizing, and I always manage to turn it into a joke about me and/or someone and make everyone piss their pants laughing... but when we're alone, she takes my teasing playfully and laughs right away.

What should I do? She's a slippery one, and I wouldn't want to ruin a great friendship just to get nothing out of it. I've changed a lot recently and she noticed. My confidence has gone way up from nothing, and she mentioned this to me.

I also noticed her reaction the last time I told her I had a date (a few days ago, I was just messing with her, I do that a lot), she stared at me blankly and her pupils dilated a lot. I'm good at reading people, but this could have meant a number of things. So obviously I'm confused here. I honestly don't think she's attracted to me. Any advice would help.

grex, keep us posted on how things are on your end. Thumbs up mate.

haha Tomcat it sounds as if we've been separated at birth.

I have a question for you, does the girl your keen on, get with other guys at social gatherings?
I pretty much convey that i don't give a sh1t about her and that i don't need her but at the same time give her pinches on the bum, I will try kiss her at the next party we both go to, hopefully that goes well. I suggest you try do the same thing.

I'll keep you posted, if you keep me posted!
pm me your email address if you want

yep, she does. And I also do that
as for the close, I don't think that's a good idea in my case...yet... since she mixed it up with some other guy this saturday, and she's really hyper about it now.

But if your girl isn't keen on anyone on particular at the moment, I say try it, and tell me how it goes.
I'll keep you posted. Best of luck mate.

i ended up calling it quits by saying "what do you want from me" she responded "for you to be my friend" then to finish the situation off i said "i have plenty of friends as it is, call me when you mature a bit, bye"
I did some positives and negatives about hanging out with her, the negatives dominated over the positives but as a quick summary i was devoting too much time to this girl and realized it was best for me to leave her and keep doing my thing and pursuing others