Your thoughts: Am I "dead in the water" with this one? Comebacks?

Just saw your posts and I have an update from last night:

To make the story short...things went good in class we had some good conversation...after class got out we are walking together and I ask her to go out....(my motto has been to always keep going until you get a "no")....so then shes says something like 'you can't wait to go out with me?'....feeling like this a loaded question with no correct answer I reply back 'Remember (insert girl's name here) there are other fish in the sea. What am I suppose to do? Wait until I'm dead?'....lol.... this appeared to have moved a gear in her head...she told me she wanted to go out with me and we worked out a day and a time....

We talked for a few more mins and she told me her birthday is on Tuesday....blah blah.....I proceed to leave and she asks me to text her and I tell her I will text her soon...I get in the car and already have a text waiting...I respond then start driving in traffic...I look down at my phone and see I have 4 texts in a row waiting from her (she never sends that many in a row)


So responding to your posts:

If she ends up flaking on me I am gonna use that line gunglory...."I'm very busy and if you are gonna be a Flake I don't have time for that bs." ....this way i can forget about her and push her out of my mind

They way you asked her out was a bit weak. I am willing to lay money on the fact that she Flakes in the future. You are actually worse off than before. She took a physical, one - on - one conversation and down graded it to text game and a future group setting. She isn't interested in you, she is either wants to let you down nice, or throw you in the friends bin.

Sorry that sounds rough, but unless I am missing some facts, that's the situation. You just fell for the nice guy treatment hook, line, and sinker.

I didn't quite understand gunsnglory's post at first, but re-reading the way you told the story incognito, it seems like she's able to root out that you're desperate for a date. In this case, she's got the upper hand at that point. It didn't matter too much what you said after to try to save yourself.

Here's what I think: If a girl is dying to be with you, the first time she should've said yes like instantly. If you ask the second time (I'm assuming on a different day) and she says "no" again, then that's a bad indicator. If I was in your shoes, I would ask her once and if she says "I'm busy" or some BS like that I'd say "ok, np, I'll go with (insert another girl's name here) then". That will show her more obviously that you've other options. If she changes her mind then, you can then turn the tables and say "oh so you wanna go out with me now?" That would make a whole lot of difference.

Again, if she doesn't respond the way I've written above and instead says something like "ok" then you've lost her and it's time to move on.

I hope gunsnglory will come back to see this post. I'm currious to know why if incognito's been place on the friend's list, she would suddenly send 4 txt msgs to him? Isn't that giving him illusions that he still has a chance? what's the point of it?

Her question about, "You can't wait to go out with me?" Means he is pretty much screwed, especially if you don't handle that type of question correctly. That isn't the time to ask the girl on a date. The four texts happened in the past, and sound to me to be mostly sh1t tests. The girl wanted to see if he would be man enough to stand up to her, and if he had other things to do. The correct response was to call her on that crap, and also let her know that he had other things to do, when she started to do that. Instead he just kept trying to set up new things with her. He accepted her bs excuses. Unfortunately, in a perfect world, a woman should recognize nice guys like Incognito, because they are obviously careing, loyal men. The world doesn't work like that. Women blow them off completely or make them into friends. I learned that, very much the hard way, once upon a time.

Women don't want jerks. They want men who are masculine. Men who know what they want, and go for it. Men who don't fall apart emotionally when things don't work out, but move on. Men who can be secure when they hang out with other men, friends and such. Men who will make a move. All of those qualities either exist, or appear to exist in your average jerk, jock stereotype. The difference is that those men accomplish it, not because they are necessarily secure, but because they devalue women, and could care less what women think. Go back through that list I just posted, and you'll see exactly what I mean. You almost can't blame women for it when you really understand what is going on.

Just picked up on this post and I think it comes down to some core PUA principles, Incognito - I would love to know how this played out - to me the whole idea is that you need to be a high value male, create those other options - go out and play the field - you should not put up with her BS. I had a habit where I started of getting hooked, without knowing it I was showing neediness and the opposite has worked way better since.

You need to honestly start to see that you are high value, in demand and you simply don't need to ever chase when being sh*t tested. It's amazing how women can smell one whiff of that and you are out - do the opposite and you will see how they start running, it's basic attraction for them.

I had this HB10, ignore my opener (like not even want to hear it or let me get the words out!) like just dance the other way (yet flicked her hair as she did - IOI - like wtf?!?) - then as she turned I shotgun negged her and she turned and her friend pulled her away. Now I could have opened on the friend first and dhv'd to her friend and kept negged the HB10 - but thats a lesson learnt.

That night I had a few other strong threads going and as her friend pulled her away another HB8 came and hooked her arm in mine big smile on her face to meet some people she wanted to have meet me, social proof - while I'm in set another thread came to ask my number before they left and I Facebook closed instead within ear shot of the HB10 (by orientating my body and projecting my voice) saying I didn't feel comfortable just throwing my phone number round (said in a funny friendly way). After that the HB10 was all around me and she re-engaged.

That was a lesson well learnt for me. Hope you came right and have grown from it - it can be a jungle out there - all of the best man!