Help! Specific Tips in Getting the Girl

Could you guys share specific tips and strategies to get the girl? See, I’ve had my share of success and letdowns but I’d like to really increase my success rate. I’m not ugly. I’m not even dorky, at least, I don’t think so. But I don’t want to always be praying that luck is on my side, that the girl is in a good mood.

What works for you?

If you're a girl, what works with you?



Nubbi
I.want.to.be.great.

This will probably sound lame but being nice does it for me.

You don’t have to open doors and play chauffeur to girls but just the simple act of letting them pass first or helping pick something up can facilitate exhange of numbers. When a girl doesn’t seem to be interested, I just retreat politely. See, some guys can be jerks just because they were turned down. Uninterested girls may have friends who could be, you know, so you don’t want to be burning that bridge. And am also saying, be nice to everyone, not just the pretty girls. Treating baristas and even store clerks nicely can get you noticed.

Make no mistake though, I never said play doormat.

Hmmm... as a girl, I get turned off by guys who talk about themselves way too much. I also get weirded out by guys asking probing, confusing, vague questions like, “What do you like?” or “How do you bucket me?” during initial interactions. Be specific and open-ended with your questions. Ask me if I like music and what genre and why. Ask me what I was doing when I heard that MJ died. And when I reply, ask me questions based on my answers, not some mental list you’ve memorized. We could see you thinking, you know, and few guys look adorable when they do. Seriously!

For the shy, introvert, insecure, really ugly, really smelly and really demanding person, dating can be a nightmare. I really feel for guys too because even in this age of speed dating and ONS, guys are still generally expected to initiate everything.

I only hope guys don’t let themselves be put off by rejections and inability to transition to something more (whatever MORE they want!).

If you’re chatting a girl up and she’s just not sounding enthusiastic, so what?! You are just chatting her up! If she’s really not interested, quit while you’re ahead and don’t waste any more time trying to attract her. Sometimes, disinterest even gets the girl.

Plus, don’t take it personally if a girl doesn’t like you back. After all, you don’t like every girl.

Obviously there is a mountain of pick-up experience you can learn, by reading the books and techniques, but if you want generalities and some quick help:

1. Dress and act in a confident manner. Know what you want and go for it.
2. Be friendly and open with everyone.
3. Like Bare_legs says, be descriptive with your words and open ended in your questions.
4. Work on learning how to build physical contact (Kino).
5. Learn how to introduce Sexual Tension into your interaction.
6. Learn how to recognize indicators or interest (ioi's).

Oh so that's what Kino is. I haven't really read everything the board has to offer yet but was intrigued by the term in the Kino openers thread!

Try to go over with the techniques that worked and did not work when you picked up women. By doing so, you'll come up with a better ideas on how to do so. But there are a lot of ways to learn, by doing trial and error, studying, and asking for advice. All of these would help you in your quest to pick up women or a woman you want.

Don't be desperate and overeager and very enthusiastic. Don't agree with everything she says, unless you really do, and even if you do, voice out alternatives to that position. Don't hover around her, and make sure to give her space to talk, move, breathe, whatever. If they wanted a parrot or a dog, they'd have gone to a petting zoo.

And while you're at it, there are plenty of articles in the forum you can put to good use. Dignity While Dating may not be the same scenario but it's a great reminder to guys who might want a girl, or a hookup, so much.