Focus on you

Why is it that every guy that comes on here has a first post that is basically:

" Here is this girl that I like, I suck at everything, what do I do to get her?" - PUA isnt about focusing on one girl, infact, its not about focusing on any girls, its about focusing on yourself. Here is the correct question:

"Here is exactly how I want to be in 6 months, 9 months, 12 month, what do I do to get that way"

I've got no problem with it Instinct. I mean, I get where you're coming from, but these guys are just like a lot of us used to be. Whether they are into one woman or many, they need the tools. With a little help, I figure most of the guys on here see the error of their ways and dump the one their stuck on anyways, looking for the bigger better deal, as they should have been doing from the start.

Whatever their reason for joining, most of us here are the same.

Just my $.02.

Most of us started out of a case of one-itis or because we just generally sucked with women. It gives you motivation, though maybe that the right kind, to try to learn. I don't mind helping these guys out. I try to make the advice general enough that they gain concepts instead of direct instructions for their particular case. I'm also different than many PUA's in that I don't very often game for gaming's sake, nor do I regularly go out just searching for tail. I like to use pick-up to find my next girlfriend(s), or to expand my social circle. Obviously, there are also lifestyle benefits from learning and employing PUA principles which I also enjoy.

Most of us first timers are generally not good with women. In this case, how do you expect us to be chatting up multiple women? If that doesn't happen, usually that leads to 1 thing and that is we focus on 1 girl that we think is someone we want to be with.

Our mothers and soap operas tend to give us this image that only the "players" are people who date multiple women. The players are also given a negative connotation of being a "bad guy" which in real life, we don't really want to portray as (although this is what most women want).

If you're religious, this becomes a even bigger determining factor. For example, I know in Christianity there's a rule of "do not lust" written in the 10 commandments. Let's face it, most of us talk to girls because we think they're attractive in one way or another and this makes these first timers feel even more uncomfortable.

It's after we transform into being more like alpha male that we see this as being acceptable. If you take a look at my earlier posts you will see that I didn't see dating someone's girlfriend was acceptable nor dating multiple women as it made me seem like a "player" at first.