Overcome Approach Anxiety

Guys who are really good with women still get Approach Anxiety. Approach anxiety is not something to be be “cured” in six hours, six weeks or even six years.

That nervousness and excitement you feel when you make yourself vulnerable by talking to an attractive girl is a GOOD THING. It adds energy to the interaction.

Do I still get approach anxiety? Does an olympic level marathoner still feel his heart race when he goes out for a run? Of course. That’s all part of the process.

My fear is part of me.

Can I help you “get rid” of your fear? That would be like you telling me you got hurt from loving someone and that you want me to help you never get hurt again.

The point with learning how to handle approach anxiety isn’t to “get rid” of it, but to learn to handle it and NOT BE PARALYZED by it.

I am still sometimes paralyzed by my fear. I PURPOSEFULLY put myself in challenging situations so that I can grow as a person.

I approach girls on crowded subway platforms. I do approaches in front of large groups of people.

I welcome these challenges because I know I’ll grow as a person.

So what I’m wondering again, is do you consider yourself a fully-fledged pickup artist, or a guy who’s not quite made it to being a pickup artist yet – or perhaps just a guy who, like me, doesn’t want to be labelled a pickup artist, since that’s not an entirely attractive way for anybody to describe themself?

Yeah, the term pickup artist has lame connotations. It sounds slimey and deceptive.

Do I have skills at picking up women? Yes.

I have done and can do a lot of the typical “pickup” things.

I have done same day and night hook ups, multiple relationships with women I truly cared about, hook ups with super hot women, etc.

I think it’s a worthwhile endeavor to do some of this stuff even just to do it a few times.

I’m not as much of a club goer any more and prefer to meet women during the day.

I love the empowerment that goes along with being able to walk up to any woman I choose and have a roadmap for making it happen.

Beyond that, there is nothing in the world like social confidence. Human beings are social people. When you feel confident and comfortable in social situations, you feel confident and comfortable in life.

More so than all the wonderful women who have entered my life, I am less fearful everywhere I go every time I open my mouth.

What a liberating feeling!

I avoid bragging about hook ups for a very important reason: I’m selfish.

I’m fine with people thinking I suck at picking up girls. In fact I prefer it. I would much rather people see what I struggle with.

That’s because I want to improve.

I don’t know a lot about Buddhism or Eastern Philosophy and enlightenment, but I know part of it is losing your ego

Every time I step out into the street to go talk to a new girl I am back at square one, no matter what.

I am back in kindegarten. I am learning something new.

I have no idea how she could react. I have no control over that.

I can only reduce myself to nothingness and walk toward her. All I have is my willingness to learn and accept everything that follows.

Great post dude. Pick up is really about giving yourself a chance to win and become someone better.

great post!
i suck at approaching women, i just cant do it lol, but hopefuly i can just suck it up one day and do it, afterall the worst they can do is say no

Great post! Every encounter with a woman is another new experience. No matter how many girls you walked to, it is still something new. You can never say it is the same with your past encounters. People are different.
As for the anxiety, it is really a helpful mechanism in our human biology. It is the driving force for us to learn every different encounters we will be dealing in our life. Anxiety is normal because the things that we deal every day of our lives can be different. We never know what would happen if we do this thing and that thing. But if anxiety becomes intense and it already impairs our interaction with other people, it is another story. We should overcome it by slowly exposing ourselves to the stimuli that we are threatened to. It may not be easy and can be done in a short period of time, but we can be successful on it if we want to achieve our goal of overcoming it.

True what you said HotRod. Am still an AFC at best but ever since I got to reading about pick up and improving my sarging skills, it's like I also got to appreciate the finer qualities of a woman. Before I used to just label them "easy", "fun", "drama queens" etc. True, true, true. No two women are alike.

Of course, it makes having to modify your game accordingly a bitch. But all worth it, mind you. Hehe.

yeh Approach Anxiety sucks ay. I have been saying to myself for ages that i am gonna start approaching, but everyday i talk myself out of it and say to myself. " I'll start tomorrow" or " First i need to read this book" Pretty pathetic but hey. Ilm here lol