You're asking a couple of questions here, so I'll just split them up.
Quote:
| I am a bit of a loner.So i wonder is it possible to practice pickup alone? I really want to learn how to go in to a club without looking like i am bored,scared looser with no friends |
You could do this but you first need to get comfortable going alone. Otherwise, people will feel your anxiety.
So I'd recommend going to a bar regularly and just drink one beer or some such, perhaps after work. You'll probably feel a bit awkward, thinking you're the only one sitting there without friends. Try to get comfortable, and tell yourself good things about yourself while you're sitting there:
- I'm comfortable sitting here
- I'm one of those people who can be relaxed with friends as well as by myself
- I'm at this "level of character" and I'm building on it, which makes me feel good
If possible, talk with people there, the bar man or maid.
Quote:
| poor social skills combined with low self esteem. I really do not know where to begin? |
Work on your self esteem. Why is it low? Answer this on paper, then ask/answer the "Why?" question five times. Then you'll get to the core.
Also, start meditating. Sounds a bit fluffy, but what I mean is to do each evening:
- Think about what you really liked about today. Then plan to do it again.
- Do people sometimes tell you what you're good at? Remember that and tell it to yourself. I'm really good at X.
- I love working at Y. I'm making progress.
- How did I feel today? Happy? Nervous? Angry? Down? Depressed? Joyful? (This helps you knowing what you feel, which is important because you can then better control it).
Quote:
| And i really do not know what to speak about to new people? |
Ask open questions. These start with How, Why, When, Who, What and Where. Focus on emotions. Where do you work? Why? Why do you like it there?
You need to exercise this. Whenever you ask a question, try to phrase it as an open question.
Quote:
| I want that party mode part of my personality to come naturally without partying .But i really don`t know how :-S |
Why can't you show your fun side without partying? Are you ashamed? Of what? Why? Do you care what other people think? Should you?