Can i really be cure?

In this world, most guys aren't like actors in romantic comedy. I had a day that really mind boggled me. It was a friday night at a mediocre club (full of 18-24 year old),i am 19 and i was there with a friend who was quite smashed and lets call him Max. Max didn't care what was going on and was dancing with strangers and flirting and going on. As for me? i stood there moving a bit, but i realized in a certain way, i just didn't stand a chance of all these pretty woman. I just couldn't get the balls nor the courage to actually go to a girl and 'Pick her up'. At the end of the night, i realized i had a big problem. I went straight home and googled: How to pick up woman, How to seduce a woman, how to hit on a woman. This is how i came accross PUAforums.com and i am now here to ask for some advice.

I've decided today, i will be motivated and will become one of the few people being able to Pick Up Girls. I've decided i will be going into bars and try and strike a conversation no matter what, every weekend. My goal here is to get a natural comfortability with woman, when all my life i've feared them. I plead you fellow mens to help me out and change my life.

To first even ask for help, i need to display my problems and history with woman. I've been comfortable with a few woman, but most of them were friends or mutual friends, so basically almost none of them strangers, unless i get lucky. I've had my heart broken once and it just made my world spiral down. From then i guess my balls have just shrank. I fear and disgust woman, i judge them with hate. All i do is i try and see all the negative things that i can come up with. I might spot a very pretty looking girl, but will always say something like 'Man i wonder how many d1ck she's sucked' 'I bet she's an attention whore'. Those are few examples of what i've done and thought.
I am also one of those very nice guys. I've lived with my mother all my life. The divorce history wasn't pretty. I've seen things that i wasn't supposed to. Me and my mother fled to Canada because of this. From that day on, i loved and cherrished my mother. I've grown acustomed to treating woman as if they were Queens or Princess'.
One of the biggest problems would be my way of communication. When i talk to a girl, i just don't know what to say. The akward silence is no unknown item of mine. I've had tons of it. I am unable to actually have a great speech method. I do also have to add that i don't try as hard as i should and i always let me self down. My confidence with woman is about 5/10, which comes to one of my other greatest distress.
One things i've learned in life is that looks gets you almost anything. Well i'm one of the many that doesn't have the greatest look. I display a more aggresive and angry look. I jog, i work out, i do Judo, I do kung fu, i eat healthy. I am a firm believer of physical and metal excercise. Even thought i do all these sports and eat healthy, i have a very slow metabolism and had a history of being overweight when i was young. So yes i do have a belly and my cheeks do look like the Pilsbury Dough Boy. Since i am an asian, i have squinting eyes, but mine are different than others. People sometimes mock me, just because they can barely see my eyes. I just don't look anything near Justin Timberlake. My looks would be rated at 3/10.
My social life isn't big. I absolutly hate facebook and i don't own a cell.
I AM NOT AN ALPHA MALE. I really am not and i wasn't in my life time. It seems i'm so interested in almost any subject that i desire to become everyones Beta, so they can teach me and make me learn. Meaning i have almost no self confidence nor courage to do things my self that i have to leech off the Alpha. If we are in a group of pals, i can never be the leader of the pact. I can never take charge of what i want or need. This is my biggest problem. I'd say i'm 2/10 out of the time. This area is my most crucial problem of them all.
*I've thought it through and told my self that i was never an alpha male, because i never wanted to fall. I never wanted to make mistakes, i never wanted to regret any of my mistakes. All i did in life is ask before you do, which displays my beta male tendancy. I wanted to be the perfect little boy, yet i've realized it was a huge mistake. From now on it's time for me to step up and make tons of mistakes. Learn from them and earn my lesson.*

I've said tons, but more awaits. I want help, i need help. I need to learn, i want to learn. I've also listen to 'The bad boy Formula' and realized i had a big problem. I am in the process of purchasing 'The Game' book. So i will see how it does with that.
I cannot stress this more, but i want to change.

Thanks.

On top of reading "The Game"...there are other books that will help you out. I recommend picking up "Rules of The Game", also by Neil Strauss. It's a 30 day challenge that will walk you through the game and it sounds like you could benefit from it tremendously. You came to the right place man. Read as many of these threads as you can and apply everything that you see. You will get results very quickly.

Know Hope -

for being so upfront and open, i want to ship you a free DVD from my friend Gambler and also a cool book (a real book) on seduction and game. now listen those won't help your current situation, but someday they will help you.

send your address and contact info to bill@puaforums.com

no strings, no nothing (i will pay shipping) - i just want to help.

until then, congrats for taking the first step and admitting you have an issue and being so upfront about it. cheers for that as that is the exact open attitude that will enable you to fix this part of your life.

also - i recommend you read "the way of the superior man" by david deida. it will change your life. can't stress that enough.

good luck man, i am glad you are taking the first steps.

bill

is this like a inner game book non PUA specific or a pua book?

know hope some of the material from David DeAngelo will help you since its mainly inner game stuff. As soon as you have your inner game covered you will be able to score girls. I believe your main problem is your lack or self steem and you lack of confidence.

btw the fact that you are asian doesnt mean you are not attractive or anything. Dont even think about the stereotypes. Take a look at Yoshihiro Akiyama, thats the kind of presence you want to achieve as a martial artist/pua.

Know Hope,

I am glad to see that you've come here to better yourself. All of the glam of Hollywood is utter BS, and don't think because you're not Justin Timberlake you'll never go anywhere.

As for you being a little overweight and Asian, that could be used highly to you're advantage. In Japan, sumo wrestlers are glorified. A great story to tell a woman is that aside from your Judo, you spent two weeks one summer at a sumo camp in Tokyo. You could use that as a dhv(demonstration of higher value) to show you're into travel, and doing things most people won't. You could branch off into so many topics, and be within an in depth convo in seconds. There are no such things as weaknesses, as long as you turn them to advantages. I know in "The Game" one guy said that a girl once called him pudgy and he said that she couldn't rub the buddha belly, or ride the jade shaft lol.. turn weakness into strength and you'll feel the confidence flowing in your veins.

best of luck
-Doc. Love

Smash, i thank you for your input and already in the process of purchasing that book. I am going to have to work hard to get in the 'Game'.

Bill, i thank you for your comment and also your sympathy. Before i even thank you for the greatest gift, i must comment you on your work. Your work concerning helping other newbie PUA members trying to get there up top. Your effort on interview and especially Carlos Xuma's interview. It was mind blowing and has changed my attitude. Your undivided help as an administrator displaying your hardship in this forum as a Moderator, member and a fellow PUA. I've seen your post and realized your there for anyone in distress. I give you my props.

My being asian has a big disadvantage. This isn't me being cocky or in denial. It's something i've learned. We have here in Quebec something called 'PAN' which means Plotte A Noir/Negre (Pussy For Niggers). Then we have the classic where woman go for the strong and aggressive Quebequer. The sweet talking Latinoes and so on and so fourth. There are no fetish for asian, i have heared any of them. It seems people try and avoid us, unless the opposite sex is from the same continent.

I eat healthier than most. I've seen my friend eating donuts at 2 A.M. after couple of beers, while i had 1 pint and had to drink tons of water upon arriving at home without any drunkennesss food. They gain nothing, while i can gain half a kilo. I'm doing Judo and Kung Fu. I train daily, it's part of my routine, but my metabolism farks me up and wont let me loose that few extra weight i have. I've started a diet 2 weeks ago and lost about 3-4 kilos. It's been great and i hope the lost of my extra will continue. The fact is, i cannot make my beer gut/belly an advantage when hitting on girls... Just tell me how is that possible??? As an asian there are many disadvantages. We have squinting eyes and mine makes me look blind as fark. The stereotypes of asian men have below average skyscrappers. It's just not easy trying to play a game when you're in a disadvantage position, but i do appreciate the comment and i DO want you to refute and tell me otherwise.

Something i've realized in the long run is: Looks Matter! No matter what girls say or movies tell you. LOOKS/STYLE MATTER. I personally blame 'Romantic Comedy'. They have made girls expect us men to treat and act the same way Brad Pitt, Mathew Mcgaush1tty, Vince Vaugh and others. It's just not possible to keep up with them nor the script. It pisses me off to see Hollywood sodomizing the average joe in the arse with these kind of sh1t moveis.
If i am not active on this forum after 2 months, this means i'm dead and my will would be for anyone here to kill whoever wants to make a romantic comedy. Also kill Mathew Mcgaush1tty, because he can't act. He can only show his boddy and that's it.

I thank everyone for their input. I thank this forum for the big help.

mate, in all of that info there are some very basic strengths that you posess though you may see them as negatives. take ownership of those strengths and allow your personality to hang around them..... have a good look at what you wrote and go over it with a pen. can you see some very basic strengths and principles in your character?

^^ To the guy who says looks matter, you should see me right now.

I am very very white, I am about 30lbs overweight at the moment, maybe 40, (former fitness trainer, do my program with me, and lets get ripped together) , and I am in a country where the average man is about 6 foot , the average women 5"10, and I am 5"8. I speak the language very poorly, and even though I do have a lot of money, I tell them that I am too poor to buy drinks with the 5 euro entrance fees (that I don't pay, more on that later ;-) ).

I consistently, 3 nights a week, bring the very hottest women from the bar home and fark them, even stealing them directly off of their boyfriends arms, and have them begging for a relationship, but like I told them, it would only be physical, me and my girlfriend are the emotional connection.

When I was in Texas, I spoke the language beyond perfect (I wrote a book on English, which one, come on, that would give me away), was a successful fit body builder and trainer, white guy, and drove around in a brand new Mustang Bullit, and I was the Average height. I was terrible with women, I had no chance, but tons of excuses that blamed things that I couldn't control. Don't focus on things that you cant control, focus on what you can.

I read some books, stopped complaining, and busted my ass and practiced, and never got mad at failed closes, or even failed opens. Are you mad because women aren't chasing you for no reason? She doesnt know you, why should she chase you? Have you let her get to know you, as an attractive, dominant, no bullsh1t, sexy guy? Asian Playboy is shorter than me I believe and destroys the white women. Get over it. You only had 1 pint of beer? That's 1 pint to many fat ass.

16 weeks ago, I had no chance. It took me about 6 weeks to start consistently getting day 2's. I got flaked on so many times, or knocked down on open and so on. I spent a week, everyday, just opening for 2-3 hours until I figured it out. I then learned how to get them interested in hearing me speak, then having them be trained to work for me ( BHRR ), then getting them to engage me emotionally (with BHRR model ), then getting them to engage me sexually, then to have sex with me, then to have sex with me on the same night. Then getting them to WANT to be my sexual girlfriend, knowing that they aren't going to be me emotional girlfriend.

Go get hypnoticas Ultimate inner game , Rules of the Game (follow it perfectly), and The way of the superior male, this is your first 30 days.

Write down a list of what is holding you back, and everything that you cant change, like being Asian, you embrace. Everything that you can change, change. That's it.

tell me you cant walk into a bar like ^ all misterious sexy asian vibe. Your frame has to be, if theres no Fetish for asian I WILL START IT. BE positive, you are all too negative. Being negative will get you nowhere. You have to get the attitute that Nothing will affect you, GROW A THICK SKIN. Becoming a PUA is no laughing matter, its a grueling process and it makes the end product more tasty in the end. Im not getting 10% OF THE p*ssy i know i can pick up right now, but i know i will get there, im positive and i will continue working towards it, no matter if a girl rejects me and spits on my face followed by a slap.

Learn from yours mistakes, evolve and you will get there. Even if you dont want to be a PUA, you can work hard towards being competent in meeting girls and start a relationship.

When you have time, go to a solitary place, sit down with a piece of paper, and think about your strenghts, think about the things you want to be better at and what you can do to achieve it, then picture yourself how you want to be, Always picture yourself that way.

Posture- stand against a wall, thats the way you should walk, straight up, chin up, chest up a little, you are confident, never look at the floor. Always talk to people looking at the eyes. Never look at the floor. If you get eye contact with a target look at her until she smiles then smile back while walking towards her(in a club) and open.

When you get into a place tell yourself, all this is mine, im the master here, this is MINE for the taking. That will give you confidence before entering a place.

I did this with my University building for a few weeks now i know that place is mine and it shows, almost everybody knows me, im alpha most of the time and i talk to any girl i want to. If a girl has ignoring me before she starts looking at me and smiling knowing that im the Higher Value person in the place and im the one she has to know. Now i have to turn that into 100% Fcloses


EDIT: looks and physique makes it a bit easier to score the shallow type, but looks without game still gets you nowhere.

Know Hope,

prjav is right. By thinking negative you will only attract the negative. There's an amazing book/movie called "The Secret" which you should watch if you can, it's changed my outlook on life. It basically just shows how positive thoughts bring positive things, and through the law off attraction you can get anything you want.

You may have disagreed with me before, but thinking your looks are bad will only send other girls the vibe that they are. If you walk into a room smiling, and knowing that girls will find you cute, they will.

Best of luck,
-Doc.