Girl being defensive

I've never created a thread in here but I will do my best.

I met this girl in Rome about 4 weeks ago, she is from the same school as mine and a real 8 or 9 blonde. On the first night I gave her finger and she had crazy o's and we kissed but she didn't want to fark due to the setting (we were in a room with 5-6 people sleeping). Anyways the next day she kind of ignored me but tried not to look like it. Later that night I asked one of my mates where she had gone and she were with her former boyfriend (they were together for like 2.5 years and just broke about for about 2-3 months ago). Anyways.. I didn't care. The next day, which was the final day before leaving Rome we made out and she gave me a B.J and I gave her 0ral and she liked it a lot.

When we returned to Denmark from Rome we talked a lot (also on the way home, she gave me ioi's) like lying with me on the bus trip and asking questions and so on. About a week after returning I had a party at my place and she slept here, albeit her parents were like: "Where are you?" all the time - so annoying parents, cock-blocking me all the time. We had sex and she told me she's never been a with a guy that good in bed; she also asked me about how many girls I've been with and so on. The next two weekends (we didn't see much to each other on a daily basis due to schoolwork/work etc.) we came together and had s3x and made out.

Then last night I went to her party, brought a her a really nice gift: not too investing just a nice summer scarf and she really liked it and she kept giving me multiple IOI's. There were a lot of girls so I talked to a lot of them to dhv the situation and all of them were laughing and seemed to like me a lot. We had to go to another party in the city so I drove the girls there (I had to leave the car at home so I could get drunk) and they laughed a lot and complimented me on how good a driver I was considering I only had had the drivers license for a week. We went to this dance club and I danced with the girl and drank and kissed and so on and everything went well.. I left at about 3 AM (Yes on a Thursday :P) and about 1 o'clock PM today she wrote:


NB! I didn't know at all what to answer to such a question so I just answered as good as I can.

HB: "Why do you say we have a thing going on?"
ME: "Are you accusing me of something"?
HB: "But Anders, we don't have a thing going."
ME: Trying to ignore what she just said I change topic. "Okay. So am I seeing you at the dance club tonight? "
HB: "Did you tell people or what? Heard it from a lot of people by now."
ME: "I didn't tell anybody anything, except that I'm just having fun with everything and everybody, I thought you felt that way as well "
HB: "We don't have a thing going. Just so we agree. And there are lots of rumors about it. I just don't want that."
ME: Couldn't hold myself back. "What are you so scared of?"
HB: "I'm not scared of anything. I just don't want rumors about something that isn't true."

Her.. 0.5 hours later:
HB: "I'm not angry "
ME: "Well good, because the sun is shining and it's an awesome day "
HB: "Yes it is "

So as you can probably see I'm a bit mindboggled. What does it mean? Is she trying to tell me that she have gotten hurt before and don't want to experience the cruelty of dissapointment again? Does this have anything to do with her past relationship or is it solely based on my actions?

I hope somebody can enlighten me and tell me what to do. I really want to keep the girl with me as I like her quite a lot. She's fun, smart, has a great energy and always smiles.

Thanks in advance all,

Regards,
The frustrated, confused guy,
Anders

Anybody please?

ok well since no one else has answered ill try my best.

As far as the relationship, if it wasnt too long ago she is still probably in the shock stage and the stage where she thinks its too soon to have something. thats why she keeps trying to tell you that you guys dont have anything. You never heard her say it when you guys were hanging out because it wasnt on her mind, she is just living the time and having fun with you. U did good to keep her mind off things. But now that she is hearing it from people, she doesnt want to be judged by them but she still likes you. That why you heard her say "I'm not scared of anything. I just don't want rumors about something that isn't true." She is a girl that is worried about what people think sometimes. That is probably why she trys to stay hapopy and unbeat cause she is a people person and likes when people like to be around her. The best thing you can do with a girl like this is make it seem like whatever you guys do, you and everybody are not going to judge her. And until she is ready to acknowledge that she is into you, i would just keep everything between you too. But now that something like this is in her radar you are going to get lots of resistance on everything: touching, getting close, kissing, farking, and everything that she thinks would lead you on. Maybe a good idea is too do what she is before he does it to you. If you ever can do something like kiss, when you start making out, pull away and tease her like, i cant lead you on. People are going to think were are dating.haha that would be good. So def. if her relationship was within one to 2 months, she is probably thinking people are going to judge her about getting over the guy too quick and that she is a "slut". girls are always worried about being a slut whether its getting over a dude to having too much sex. So what you always do is keep in between you two cause then she only has to worry about you judging her and if you can pull off making it seem to her that you wont judge her everything would be fine. What to do soon is go have fun, do the stuff you usually do on first date, and make her feel good around you and that you wont judge her.

so do all the Kino, do lots of Sexual Tension, (cause she will want you so bad, just make her feel like you wont judge her) and then do what you do. Something active is always fun: hiking, indoor rock climbing, going for a walk, blah blah blah. theres tons. indoor rock climbing is my personal favorite for first dates just because its so easy too work with and it helps when guy dont know how to keep a conversation going all the time.

Thanks for the answer crobinson. Very informative and nice answer.

I was with her today and I teased her like crazy, we had a water fight and she generally laughed A LOT. Nothing better than to be with an awesome girl. Then we went downstairs and had sex twice.

Considering this, as long as I don't judge her and stay fun and attractive I hope I'll be fine. I don't know whether or not she'll one day see me as potential boyfriend or whatever, but I'm anyways happy for the way things are right now..

If anybody's got some more comments please feel free to write. Again, thanks crobinson: You definitely refreshed my thoughts on girls being seen as: "slut", as it's almost a defense mechanism. She don't want people to judge her on her actions when it's so early from a 2 year relationship.

Thanks,

Regards,
Anders

well no u cant just not judge her,.. you have to also come off like you dont judge her. It doesnt matter if u knew u dont. she has to know u dont judge her. keep it upbeat. and obviously if you had sex twice she probably found it good. Now a good idea is to get her addicted to you. Next time she wants to try and fark just resist as long as possible so its looks like she might not get any and once you see her get to that point where she might get mad or give up just give in and give her the fark of her life. playing games with a girl like this will get her addicted to you and you can basically do what you want. But dont be submissive i bet this girl loved if you took control in the bedroom. Do it everywhere else, lead her but slight pushes on her lower back, and stuff like that. Let her know that you can take control but that you still get weak for her. this type of girl will love that sh1t. and yeah lots of girls are always worried about being judged a slut. Dont talk to your friends about having sex with her and dont seem judgemental. If anything tease yourself to make her feel comfortable. Be like "idk about this, i really dont want people to be thinking of me as a man slut. Man sluts get bad reps." that will make her laugh but your also doing advanced cold reading your saying something that she can relate to.

good luck ask questions if you need more advice

when u do a cold reading technique like that, your basically saying something that you "believe" but then she will be thinking "holy sh1t i feel the same way, this guy really understands who i am". by the way, this advanced cold reading technique is also going to get you some crazy sex that day cause that cold reading will more than likely make her really farking horny. haha

i didnt get to read what crob has posted. Can you realize that girls are just as much or even more horny than us? they want sex more than us. she could just be using you as a way to forget the other guy and just for sex and fun. something we talk about being the great PUAs and the players and sh1t and many times the girls either leave us play our game of they play theirs and have some fun of their own.

Grow a thick skin, dont develop feelings for this girl and you will be fine. just let things flow and enjoy the ride. then you get tot he relationship point you WILL know for sure.

yeah i once talked to a reall good Pick Up Artist and he always said...dont care for her as much as she cares for you...cause then you have less to lose and when u can do that your game will always be better than if you cared more for her...haha great advice...do develop a tough skin and always care less than the girl

Wow guys, excellent advice. I should have read this just before, I think she is getting the wrong impression of me.

I was with her today, used a classic: "Let's have a bible study session tonight " like I used the other day (at my place) where we had sex twice. Anyways, today it was like she wasn't set up for it or don't want that kind of thing.

I think I was too submissive. Like I was the one leaning in to kiss her and so on and then she was like after a while of french kissing and me touching her body: "You should know.. We are just friends.." and I was like: "Yeah.. hrmpf.. then whispering; with benefits" and laughing. She smiled and said: "Just friends.." and I just ignored it.

Do you think I still have a chance since she rejected me today? (she is obviously still really attracted to me: lots of laughing, playing with her etc.)

I'm a bit mind-boggled and I farking hate rejections like this. It sucks being a non PUA because I know I could have played my game a lot better tonight. Damnit.