Online nothing....

So I'm making an attempt at the online thing. Now when I'm picking up women I use a lot of body language on my sets. As of a week ago I find myself staring at a blinking cursor wondering wtf to say. Every girl on the planet seems to like "having a good time..." or "likes to travel..." Pretty un-original. So what are you web-sargers doing with the openers?

Wooooooooooow. after writing a page+ book on internet antics, my sign-in timed out and in the refreshes all was lost. well, maybe tomorrow or the next day my angst will have passed.

here's my online routine.

this is an example, using an Opener i don't use as frequently anymore:

Me: Are you the type of person who can accept a sincere compliment?
Her: Something along the lines of yes.
Me: Awesome! Me, too. You go first. :P
Her: bs
Me: cocky/funny reply. I usually don't even reply with a compliment. Then i say, you seem like a unique person, what's two interesting things about yourself?
Her: bs
Me: cocky/funny reply. Then i say, I don't really get on here very much, how can we keep talking?
her: here's my number, text/call me.


I just keep it really simple man and directly apporoach, but make her qualify herself to me. It not all about the messages though.... you need to have a GREAT profile.

This is my current profile. It is an experiment to see how extreme I can get. This may appear offensive but hopefully you'll get it:

"Well lets see here. I absolutely love talking about myself. It is such a great reminder of how wonderful I am. By the time these paragraphs are finished, I'll realize how much of a great catch I am and try my hardest to wink to myself 7 times. To begin, I really don't have any aspirations in life. When I was born and understood who I was, just being alive was the only accomplishment I set forth for myself so.....check in the box, goals complete. I really can't stand my family. All they do is have fun and love each other and that's not exactly my cup of tea (tea taste's horrible). My friends don't mean anything to me and are pathetic. They're all involved with their families and career's they really don't make any time for me. Before they had families I was always around eating their food and taking things that didn't belong to me, they loved it. One of my favorite hobbies is complaining. I'm not a big fan of traveling. I prefer to stay put. Passports are too involved and with the internet I can google pictures of the places I really didn't care about in the first place and look at those. Plus all the people all talking to you and stuff gets irritating and I don't want to even talk about the food. I'll end up starving to death with all the different food in the world. I hate wine tasting. I like wine drinking. Tasting involves spitting, I prefer to swallow.....never mind that last statement. Punctuation faces should tick everyone off .....see, stupid. Animals are dumb. They're a terrible investment. I really don't have any faith or anything like that. I'm not religious and definitely not spiritual. I don't have a career because nothing is interesting enough for me to be committed to. I have commitment issues. I don't have problems with women, they seem to have problems with me. It might be the “perfect” thing....I don't know? Optimism often leads to disappointment, so I remain pessimistic. Your never disappointed. Chivalry is not appreciated so I've never done it. If you want to get in there....you open the door, I'm not taking my hands out of my pockets and don't expect a thank you, I'm thinking. I'm not secure because there are people out there that look like Brad Pitt and I don't. I am a complete dependent. I have to be taken care because of my awesome ability to be incapable of taking care of myself. Gyms are stupid and over rated. I don't don't know my heritage. I do like hot pockets.
What I'm looking for is someone with a sense of humor. Also someone who can spell. You'd be amazed at the amount of people who can't spell. So, now that you have recovered from the awesomeness that just punched you in the face, you should write me sometime so we can chat it up. I'm mildly interested in hearing from you......"

Like I said this is an experiment. Its been sort of successfull. I've gotten some interesting replies. I'll be refining it here in the future when I get some time. I'm going to tone it down a bit and get a little more sincerity in there. All the random crap like "likes" and "Favorites" are legit though. Tell me what you think.

Needs a hook earlier... you need to capture their attention within the first 10 seconds.

You'll have to give me an example. Are you refering to one liners or a story opening?