How do I secure her?

06-23-2010, 01:42 AM

Okay, so I'm pretty much just going for this one girl (I know, one-itis, but whatever). I dont really know what to make of her though. We've been talking a lot recently and she texts me regularly even when I dont respond and asked me to hang out a bunch of times.

So two friends and I were hanging out so I invited her to come with. At first, it was awesome and she held on to the hug a little tighter/longer than normal. It was a very casual/laid-back sort of flirting between us, with the little quarrels, hand touching while messing around, and joke arguments and she laughed a lot at what I said. But at some point (I didn't do anything different or weird throughout the hangout), she just seemed to not respond as much to what I was saying. And when we all split up, I approached her for a hug and she went "okay, if you really want one", but it was in such a monotone voice that I couldnt tell if she was just messing around with me or not. Also, when I texted her later (I know, bad move on my part) and asked her when she was free to go to this place she kept wanting to go to together, she texted back "never" and prior to this, she was so willing and eager to go.

Am I just being paranoid and self-conscious because I'm really into this girl?
Is she just testing me and I should continue to be really laid back (which I have been the entire time I've been talking to her, even though I slipped up today) and not give in?

I want to know how I can secure this girl or at least bring up some confidence in me, cuz this is really bothering me.

I would really appreciate some advice because I'm really into this girl. ANY ADVICE will do, even if I didn't mention it in here (I know I forgot to include/ask some stuff).
And please no comments about having one-itis or anything like that because I'm not trying to become a full-fledged PUA; I just want to utilize these techniques to get the girl I want.

Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it.

Ziegler-DK · 06-23-2010, 07:36 AM

For how long have you been seeing this girl? Have you ever kissed her?
It sounds to me like you are getting in the hated friend zone.. Maybe the thing you said when she chanced was something with a subtitle of you guys dating?
Reply back with the answers and I'll try to help you out
P.S. If you have to ask us questions about you being paranoid and self-conscious, you probably are look at it this way.. She is not the price.. You are!! You are the perfect ten!

06-23-2010, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ziegler-DK

For how long have you been seeing this girl? Have you ever kissed her?
It sounds to me like you are getting in the hated friend zone.. Maybe the thing you said when she chanced was something with a subtitle of you guys dating?
Reply back with the answers and I'll try to help you out

P.S. If you have to ask us questions about you being paranoid and self-conscious, you probably are

look at it this way.. She is not the price.. You are!! You are the perfect ten!

We've known each other for 4 years now but never really got close or even talked that much until a couple months ago. We just started hanging out like last week (the day i wrote about, which was yesterday, was the 2nd time we hung out). And no, we haven't kissed yet.
Man, that friend zone sucks. I hope it isn't the case here.

Well, it's like she stopped giving off signals out of nowhere, really. She was being really playful and then just stopped haha.

Thanks a lot for the advice man.

prjav · 06-23-2010, 09:15 AM

dude it just sounds shes mad about something you said/did. Thats where the problem lies. you should know what was it, so let us know so we can tell you if this is salvageable.

06-23-2010, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prjav

dude it just sounds shes mad about something you said/did. Thats where the problem lies. you should know what was it, so let us know so we can tell you if this is salvageable.

Yeah, I thought it could have been that too. But it wasn't that she completely stopped acknowledging me, she just didnt respond as much. We still talked and remained playful for the rest of the night, just not as much as earlier. And she texted me this morning, laughing and all. So I dont think that she was mad about anything.

Maybe she just got tired? Because she was telling me how her day was really long at work. And she almost didn't even come out so she could rest but decided to come out anyway.

How should I approach her now through texts until the next time we hang out? She kind of drifted from her usual group of friends and told us (us as in me and a few of my friends. We weren't on a one-on-one date) that she had more fun with us and how she wanted to hang as a regular in our group.

Ziegler-DK · 06-23-2010, 03:12 PM

Try giving her a funny/cute nickname.. Not any of the ones everybody uses (don't know it in english, but hey cutie and stuff) make it about her personality or something funny that she did when you hung out (tiny negging).
If you want a one-on-one date with her don't do what AFC's do and ask her out to dinner and stuff.. You have to get her "shield" down I did one with some tickets to a local swimming area.. I had these tickets and I needed to get rid of them before X so if she wanted to come along it could be fun. Then run some routines, play some games and have fun.. Get the ioi's before you go for the kiss, and if none comes, the two of you just had a fun time in the pool and you have a happy memory to talk about in the future..
What I'm trying to tel you is that you should get her one-on-one and do something physical.. Maybe teach her something that you are very good at or just have fun with something else

Hope this helps, sorry I got caught up in writing

06-25-2010, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ziegler-DK

Try giving her a funny/cute nickname.. Not any of the ones everybody uses (don't know it in english, but hey cutie and stuff) make it about her personality or something funny that she did when you hung out (tiny negging

).
If you want a one-on-one date with her don't do what AFC's do and ask her out to dinner and stuff.. You have to get her "shield" down

I did one with some tickets to a local swimming area.. I had these tickets and I needed to get rid of them before X so if she wanted to come along it could be fun. Then run some routines, play some games and have fun.. Get the ioi's before you go for the kiss, and if none comes, the two of you just had a fun time in the pool and you have a happy memory to talk about in the future..
What I'm trying to tel you is that you should get her one-on-one and do something physical.. Maybe teach her something that you are very good at or just have fun with something else

Hope this helps, sorry I got caught up in writing

Thanks so much for the advice man.
And yea, actually, I figured that I was just being paranoid up there. Cuz this morning, she called me and asked to go to breakfast with her before work and then invited me to go to a huge music festival TODAY, like impulsively. And yeah, it was awesome. We were dancing together pretty much the whole time and she kept giving really subtle IOIs. On the way home, she invited me to this huge party for tomorrow. Gotta find me an AFC designated driver. haha.

But yeah, thanks again for the advice, I really appreciate it.

I'll keep updating this if you feel like dropping by here and there. Hopefully I wont have to update this for much longer hahah.

Ziegler-DK · 06-26-2010, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grizzlie

Thanks so much for the advice man.
And yea, actually, I figured that I was just being paranoid up there. Cuz this morning, she called me and asked to go to breakfast with her before work and then invited me to go to a huge music festival TODAY, like impulsively. And yeah, it was awesome. We were dancing together pretty much the whole time and she kept giving really subtle IOIs. On the way home, she invited me to this huge party for tomorrow. Gotta find me an AFC designated driver. haha.

But yeah, thanks again for the advice, I really appreciate it.

I'll keep updating this if you feel like dropping by here and there. Hopefully I wont have to update this for much longer hahah.

Good man!

yeah hope that for ya! It's all about having fun.. Just remember that she has to work for you sometimes.. Game is not about playing girls.. Do good things for her, but don't become her puppy.. That's to low man.. Best of luck with her

How do I secure her?

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