Riddle me this - I still cant engage in flerty convo, but I can teach salsa in day.

So.... Riddle me this..


The basic question
I still have trouble making basic conversation. Yes, not everyone will want to talk to me and that's ok. I can smile and say Hi..etc. Then I go to
How are you?
Fine.
Good.
How long have you been doing XYZ...
etc.


Yet, the girl I like comes into my electronics store and I can say "wait", stop her, say "do this" hold out my hand, then "do this" and teach her to salsa and cha cha. Which she enjoyed, sitting there giggling all the way though.

WHY CANT I DO THIS IN CONVERSATION! WITH WORDS! I never have the words, but I MAY have the spirit or attitude or whatever.




The Examples
Here is a sample convo I had with a girl recently. I do one tease, it's situational, and in context in the convo. I struggle with this!! Why!?
ME "Hi I'm Steve"
HER "I'm Jenny" *shake hand
ME "so your selling your car, what are you going to replace it with"
HER "Oh I'm looking for an AWD car, I go to school up north and it snows"
ME "Oh well, that's Audi or Subaru"
HER "Yeah I want an audi"
ME "Nice classy cars, girls got taste/high matenence" -- My kind of tease
ME "What are you studying"
HER "Nursing at Washington"
ME "Ahh What made you get into nursing"
HER "I don't know"
ME "well, some people want to help others, it's a very secure job.....etc"
HER "Yeah I do like people, and it is secure"
ME "How about travel, been to any foreign countries?"
HER "I'd love to go X, I want to do doctors without borders...."
ETC.


Another girl awhile back texts me "Oh so well you can call me and give me a hard time" She wants me to call her and tease her. And you know what, I would LOVE to but I have nothing to tease her ON. She hasn't done anything stupid or wrong or anything. Of coerce, I never called her. I moved on to other women.

Any tips from the big black PUA abyss?

I think it's this issue, teasing verbally, that's holding me back. And I don't think it's because of I'm 'afraid' of loosing her or her not liking me. I'll teach her to dance, push her... Well, maybe it is then..ahhhhh!

ok well ur convo is acutally just chit chat. its not funny, its not playful, its just talk. i mean your doing stuff all the AFC's out there do. ur interviewing her and she doesnt like it. i actually came up with a new way to have fun but also get to know each other. its like interviewing but makes it fun and when you want to hear a story you can. i did this the other night when i was out with a HB 8. we played never have a ever to get to know each other. when it went sexual or was a little funny i wanted to hear stories. it was a constant laugh and i had lots of fun. just fun silly stuff like that works. and yes i know it worked cause i fark closed her. oh yeah we didnt just play this randomly, we were out fore drinks and decided to play.

so what you need to do is just have fun and make it fun for her

__________________
I live in my reality and you’re a guest

The Guru Black Book gives you 28 different guru's advice on how to deal with this (and related issues... actually 25 questions in all).

28 gurus, 25 questions... 700 answers.

Check it out here:

The Guru Black Book

Bill

man i want to check that out but i just dont have the cash as of now.

__________________
I live in my reality and you’re a guest

.


And what is this way? Are you willing to share/enlighten us? How does it work?

I really feel this is my sticking point right now. I can be playful verbally sometimes, if the environment is right and there is alot of energy and people. However, most of the time I'm just playful physically. Pushing, dancing, hair pulling, taps on the shoulder and run away.... nutty stuff.

I'm confused as to how one can be playfull physically but not convorsationaly. Let me ask you this how are you when it comes to talking sh1t with the guys? Cuz thats basically what i do with women, however the diff is is that I never intend on hurting them and its never "bellow the belt" so like in your instance when u asked what her school situation is, she said nursing, ida been like awesome, hey i got this thing i need u to check out n id pretend to start pulling my pants down haha.

yeah i dont get how you can be playful physically but not during a convo. that is confusing. but you know the basic idea behind never have i ever. you say something you havent done that maybe they have. if they have they drink. if you asked a funny one have her explain it with a story. haha i noticed that worked well cause it engaged her, got her to qualify herself to me, made it fun and playful and setup for Sexual Tension building so i could fark close her the next night ))

__________________
I live in my reality and you’re a guest

My guy friends and I almost NEVER talk sh1t. Some of my guy friends are boring as fark. I'm trying to find new ones. When I'm around them, even MY playful energy goes down the tubes.


See that would have never occured to me. She was fairly conservitive so I dont know if i would do it. I have opened girls with just a loud HEY! or jumping in front of them, 'Hey you can't just walk by me, who are you'....

ME EITHER! I can tease her if she DOES something but... yeah. If I took a girl to a dance, or walk, or some activity I could pull her hair or something but....man...

I've got a number of the above dancing girl and I'm almost scared to ask her out because we're going to be going to talk (drink, yougert..something) and I don't want to lose it by being too serious in convo. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself and a bit of silence is OK.. crap.

I'm just nuts I guess.

OH, at the same time, sometimes GOLD comes out of my mouth. I once told a guy who insulted me "yeah if I wanted my own comeback I would have wiped it off your moms chin". But those times are few and far between, and that's insulting.

I get it now, its about your inner game. The salsa lesson is a fake sense of security, without that you must on some level feel like you have nothing else to give. Your confidence is based on that. Tell me if I'm wrong but it makes sense to me!