Introversion and Ignorance

So I've been reading up on this material for a bit, and I gotta say this REALLY has changed me. Self-improvement, confidence, I can go on and on. Couple of things though that still make me scratch my head though. So I'm gonna break this down into two areas.

Introversion
For now, I live in Central Pennsylvania (yea not too exiciting but that's a story that I'm not gonna post here). The main issue here is that people are not as outgoing as other areas such as NYC, Philly, Jersey, etc. This results in some added resistance with mentalities when going out to the bars and clubs in my area. Unless there's alcohol involved, people in general here can be pretty reluctant to the idea of a stranger striking up a conversation with them; sometimes to the point where the group will shut you out almost as quickly as you came in. With this, I'm open to ideas, tips, whatever information anyone has on this because I'm getting tired of this hurdle.



Ignorance
Ignorance, in this case, is not bliss. During my semester over in Germany, the girl I was dating towards the end of my stay drew something to my attention; my ignorance to ioi's. Early on, I was talking to another girl from Poland, and was somewhat oblivious to people showing interest. From that, the one that I dated had drawn my ignorance to my attention asked me this question: "Are you sure that you didn't get attention in America? Or is it that you just didn't notice? " After some reflection, the latter of the two is true. She asked me this after my failure to notice her IOI, which apparently was a way of looking at me when giving a presentation in class (I can't really explain how she was looking at me without a visual demonstration, so excuse the lack of details on that one.) So for this one, what are some obvious, and not so obvious IOI's that I should know of to prevent further ignorance?



Thanks again,

Derek

Ok for your first one I have to ask cause I come from the south and people here are just nice. Not to mention I come from one of the most catholic states in the union so everyone drinks! Can you strike up any random conversation at all? Sports team, weather, anything? If not im going to have to revert to some ones else’s ideas. The only thing I can think of off my head is make sure YOU are open to talking to people. Make sure you have good body language, and vocal tonality you know all the basics.

For the ioi thing: There are tons. Eye contact being the biggest and best. They will turn their hips towards yours, play with their hair, ask questions about you. There are tons and tons of IOI’s. I don’t know if there has ever been a list compiled on this forums but I would try searching for one.

To answer your question, yes it is possible to strike up conversations. When doing so, it does pay to keep in mind that coming off with a direct attitude (think New Yorker) is precieved as arrogant by a large number of people here. Convos are possible here but being too direct can hinder you. I'm still working on making sure that I am doing my part by breaking the ice and just having fun really.

I like your idea for the ioi tips. Gonna get on that so I don't miss out any more lol. Thanks man!

Sounds to me like you need to work on your body language, voice, and eye contact. If you're thinking too hard about what to say, or are nervous it will show unless you control it. Shoulders back, chest out, head up, use your hands and facial expressions. People SERIOUSLY react WAY differently to you if you do this.

I can't stress it enough man, it works, ESPECIALLY with women but even men too just in day to day situations.

[quote=Miko;12186]Sounds to me like you need to work on your body language quote]


Yea agreed it needs some work; noticed that myself and I'm workin on that. I guess what I was really trying to get from the introversion aspect was, how do you approach a situation where others are somewhat intimidated by the idea of interacting with strangers? Any tips on how to approach them so their defenses aren't up as much?

[quote=eodice717;1219 2]

one guru to the PUA community, gambler, teaches to warm ur approaches by forcing an interaction or ioi before u even walk u to talk to them. His theory is to force eye contact and create a pure body language interaction. Make eye contact, make a wave, silly face confused face or whatever, you just open like that. then when you go talk to them if u waved or made a fun face you can just directly approach them. if u do a confused face approach and say "hey how have you been?" Both these signals indicate familiarity and make ur approch more likely to be welcomed!

[quote=amino2;12200]

You know that's damn good advice. I've seen this happen before and didn't even recognize that is what's going on. Thanks man!

The point behind the body language is that IF you convey that you're happy/normal/friendly they won't have their defenses up in the first place. They'll recognize your BL instantly and be MUCH more receptive to begin with. Most of the people that try and talk to you in the street are usually bums, creepy dudes or drunk people so make it clear that you're none of those things and you should get better reactions.

Don't forget your voice tonality also. I've got a buddy whose main Opener is "Hey you!". He says it in a really excited way with a friendly/flirtatious smile. What he's actually saying is "Hey, you're hot, I'm hot, let's do this!" and it's totally clear even though he doesn't say it.