Where do I begin..

"You were looking for a way to change your life. You could not do this on your own."
(Tyler Durden/FIGHT CLUB):

Please bear with me.

This is quite difficult.

Here I am, trying to condense my love life/sexual experiences/relationship with women into a small paragraph.

To put it simply;

On a night out, I freeze up.Too afraid to chat up or approach a woman,my friends usually end up with girls and I'm alone at the end of the night,I tired of that.I want a change but I cannot do this on my own.

A little about me:
I'm 23 and in college.I've had sex though,lost my virginity in my first year of college with a random girl from a random club.I've had sex with several different girls and here's the punchline..had a threesome..with 2girls...to be honest,I was just in the right place at the right time.

My problem,I'm shy.

I freeze up around women,I come off as nervous and can't hold a woman's attention.

I've been reading neil strauss's "the game" and decided I can change this,well hopefully BUT the other night I went out with my friends and again I froze.

I had the best of intentions,I had a clear and focused mind.I saw plenty of sets to open,I just couldn't.

In the back of my mind I feel that if I approach a group of people I don't know I'll get slapped or yelled at or else the music in the club will stop and everyone will stare at me,while the DJ's announces "Sir,will you please leave the club without making a fuss" .

I guess what I'm looking for is guidance,advice,help ful tips,books to read,someone to help me but my foot in the right direction.

I'm calling myself PYSCHO_MANTIS,a video-game character from METAL GEAR SOLID.A man who can control what goes on around him,change people's perceptions and feelings.

Thank you for bearing with me,this is my first post and hopefully I've submitted it in the right forum.

PSYCHO_MANTIS

Oh my GOD! That is an AMAZING description of Approach Anxiety! (The DJ bit) Well ive been trying in field pick up poorly for 3 weeks now, studying for 2 months i have a potentially massive social circle at uni but am no way in the middle of it (the way i liked it in the past when i had a gf).

Basically it has got to a point where i dont give a fark nemore what people think, my opening is terrible due to aa. So me and my new wing are gonna go out and embarrass ourselves and open as many farking sets as possible, open everyone in the club and just pound it. He runs his own club night and were going flyer promoting tomorrow as well, the challenge is to talk to every single girl that walks past .

My advice:

1) Stop caring, just stop caring oh my god every single one of us gets it, its time for me to stop caring and i dont know why its so difficult (a random girl is not gonna mention somebody in her myspace blog that bombed a set with her, she WILL have forgotten you in a day)

2) get a wing, make it a fun night out where u both challenge each other.

3) Watch anything you can by Matador, the man is the god of lectures on approach anxiety.

4) Watch the pick up artist and laugh at all the AFC's with their approach anxiety.

Examples of crippling AA from the last few weeks,

I was too scared to open a girl when my mate pointed her out (hb 8), but then she comes up to me and asks me to roll a cig for her. I end up bouncing to upstairs and getting compliance from her, (spin test and hand weighing). I then freeze when it comes to SOI even tho shes right farking there in front of me cudnt even ask for her number.

I went out wednesday and just ended up getting really farking pissed coz i was too scared to open any sets AT ALL all night, reasonable IOIs from a topshop model (hb9) whos a friend of a friend. She was dancing 5 inches from my face and i couldnt bring myself to just move my hand onto her waist even after id spun her round.

Im slowly getting better, and im a guy that has immense paranoia from years of drugs, went out to a club last night took some MDMA thought everyone was annoyed at me and wasnt talking to me and i smelt (i didnt). Whats your excuse? Eh!

Hope this helped x PS just call urself mantis or summin, dont like ur name haha

Thanks dude,been watching season 1 and season 2 of the Pick Up Artist and have been picking up a few tips.

I'm taking my time with this plethora of knowledge,don't want to overload or abuse this information.

My only worry about approaching women is that I don't want to make an impression as a creep and have to carry that feeling of embarrassment for the rest of the night.

I maybe over thinking and over analyzing.

Thanks for the advice dude,just call me mantis from now on so

Mantis

Hey dude. Appreciate your candor. I am pretty much in the same place you are.

23 yrs old
Pretty good looking
Have had sex with a few women. Mostly very drunk encounters.
I'm not shy in other areas of my life but I'm not aggressive enough with women
Living in NYC this is tough because most women I meet when I go out are aggressive
Looking to make a change as well

Do you live in NY?