Stalemate: The importance of eye contact

I am going share a story of one of the most glorious pick ups of my life..


It was Halloween of 2010. I was going to some outdoor overnight festival that would involve a farm, alcohol, drugs, and bands upon bands. It turned out the farm was covered in mud from the rain.


I was dawning a gorilla mask, gorilla gloves, and a long trench coat. I was a creep, but it was Halloween, so it was OK. I had beer and smirnoff vodka, I was one drunk King Kong, to top it off I had done shrooms a few hours earlier at home that wore before the party even started. It's safe to say, I didn't do this often.


I talked to lots of girls all night, I was having a good time. I wandered up to the upstairs of this country barn where a band was playing. (They were all over the farm that night.)


I go through the crowd in my mask, a girl is curled up in the middle of the crowd watching the band. She began grabbing at my crotch and I knew she had to be on some sort of drug. Not wanting to be one being seen to take advantage of girl in such position, I moved on.


I eventually saw a girl, she was about 5 foot 1, big breast a little thick, just enough to justify how big the breast were, short blonde hair to the bottom of her neck. It otherwords, she was a nice lookin' gal.


I caught her looking towards me and the staring game was on. I stared like it was a game. I began making cute monkey motions and flagged her over. She came to me like she had always wanted to be held over a skyscraper.


We began dancing, groping eachother. The next thing I know, my mask is up and we are going at it. I said “I wish I could fark you.” To which she responds “I have a teepee.”


How could I resist? The rest is biology.


The moral of this story is, if you catch a girl looking at you, never look away until she does. Who's the real creep here? Both of you.