How Do I Approach Women In Bars?

I always feel so intimidated trying to talk to people, it seems that everyone else knows each other and I don't know how to get women to like me. What the hell should I do?

By far and away the single biggest thing preventing you from approaching women in clubs and bars is your attitude and Mindset when in those places. You can call it your state, you can call it your mood.

Whatever name it is given, it can be the *one thing* that, if changed, can give you a huge improvement in your results when Attracting Women.

So how do you get into the right ‘mood’ when you are in a club, bar or pub?

The secret is going to come as a bit of a suprise to you. This is not going to be a run-of-the-mill flirting guide that gives you the standard bogus advice….

I want to do a little mental experiment with you for a moment: Think of what it is like on your first day of work in a brand new job. (Stay with me here, this is relevant I promise) On your first day, you see all these people around you that you know you are going to have to get on with because you will be spending the next however many months/years with them.


How do you act in that situation? If you are anything like me, you wanna make some friends, and generally get on well with people. Just ponder for a moment how you did this in your first day in your current job.

Now, imagine, when you are in a club, it is really your first day at work, and the people that are there are your new colleagues. How do you approach this situation?

You wanna be pretty nice, find commonalities quickly, and try to share cool things with them or help them out in some way. This attitude takes all the pressure off ‘getting laid’ or ‘picking up women’. Which are your natural (and self-sabotaging) focuses when you go out with a mindset of ‘how to meet women’.

It’s like when your driving a car, you aren’t concentrating on your destination. You are concentrating on the road, the other drivers and the potential hazards that you may have to react to. Your main focus is driving your car, not arriving at your destination. The journey makes the destination inevitable.

Focus on the *journey*. Let the destination take care of itself.

In other words, stop trying to get laid, and start being a cool, friendly, social guy. Just like on your first day of work.

Hey Ricky!

I can'r really give more advice than the previous person, but can give a tip. I always set my iPhone to ring three minutes into my set. 1) dhv: iPhone and people probably call you a lot sice you've been speaking for less than 5 minutes and "ring ring"..... I'll put my finger in my other ear and motion to the ladies w/ my index finger "1 minute" and walk off. Come back, "OMG, you will not believe this woman that just called me ........"

2) gives you a chance to bail if you're getting nervous (a time constraint of sorts). You can always come back and don't loose value of others watching.

Just practice watching your body language in the mirror so it looks real. If you've got an iPhone the app is called Fake-a-Call and is phree!!!!

Good luck dude; may the pickup gods be with you.

I think for me... FTCs are something I need to work on more. I also need to re-inforce the ftc with a FTA (false Take Away) via rocking or some other non-verbal.