How to make friends with girls - Need a social life!

I discuss a couple of my female friends here:
using a WOMAN WING

Great post nik. Interesting to see how hot this topic has become

Female friends serve many purposes, not least of which it just helps you become a natural with interacting with women, and gives you better mixed groups to go out with

It doesn't make you feminine for wanting to have one good girl and stick it out with her, at all. You did seem quasi-feminine at first, but you've explained yourself well and I get where you're coming from.

You keep reiterating that you have a very mediocre social life and that's what you want to breathe life in to. Oddly enough, focusing on being social and meeting people who just look like they're having fun usually gets you more girls than focusing on picking up girls. When it comes to Approach Anxiety, what I find cures it is simply always having something to say.

There is this technique called "elderly opening." Old people will sometimes start conversations in a coffee shop or wherever over trivial matters. For example, they might ask about your phone - what kind it is, is it easy to use, etc. Then, they will drop bait. After showing an old guy some cool feature, he might say something like "I wish I had that during D-Day" which almost forces you to ask "you fought on D-Day?!" and then you wind up in a big, long conversation with the guy. Old people are good at starting conversations because they come on very innocently and they are easy to trust. Then they are good at keeping them going because they have lived on this planet many long years and have a lot of interesting conversational "bait" to drop.

So, whether you're dealing with men or women, just use the elderly Opener. You don't have to memorize anything special, you just need to pick something out and ask questions, then drop interesting bait. One they start biting your bait, the conversation goes further and you establish connections. I always have a 5-10 things I can drop bait about. For example, after I get into a convo with a girl about a novel she's reading at a Starbucks, I might say "yeah, I'm looking for something interesting to read after studying all those military manuals." Then she will ask something along the lines of "are you in the Army???" and it will snowball from there to the point where it's easy and natural to get her number.

Hopefully that helps you out. The "elderly opener" is a key technique to not only meeting women (especially during the day in places like coffee shops or stores) but to simply meet people and expand your social circle.

Guys thanks so much for the responses, I am actually feeling more positive about all this now.

I know I just need to get out there and approach as much as I can. I really like the whole elderly Opener and mentioning the word platonic! Thats awesome!! Also love the opinion opener. Actually I tried it a few times but I just never knew how to move into a conversation. I was usually stuck on that opinion.

You shouldn't feel feminine for any of that, especially not wanting short term pleasure at the cost of betraying your values, because staying true to your values and shunning your base desires is what a mature man would do. But, at the same time, try to withhold cuddling, long talks and more from women (giving in enough so that you fulfill her emotionally, but don't overdo it). You always want to leave them in the position of desiring something or having their needs just met, which keeps them chasing and desiring you. So in regards to cuddling, you might do it reluctantly even though deep down all guys do like to cuddle and love it when a girl snuggles into them (unless it's UFC night, the Super Bowl is on, etc). Put on that masculine outer shell. Women are always trying to fix people, so they like a hardened man because they want to try to soften them, so put up that harder, masculine front so she will try to soften you.

You need to be seasoned more to get less emotional. The more you see,the more tragedy you experience and the more experience you have with women the more you'll grow somewhat bitter and jaded but also much, much wiser and more interesting. I think being and feeling masculine comes as a result of personal growth, and by undertaking traditionally masculine endeavors. Nothing makes you feel more manly than fighting someone in a ring, graduating bootcamp, fighting on a battlefield, grilling a steak out in the middle of the woods on a fishing trip and eating it with your hands, hunting, etc. Maybe you just need to do more of that kind of stuff to grow your confidence and unleash the inner beast, so to speak. By doing those kinds of things you also enlarge your social circle, which is why I advocate getting involved with things and joining teams to obtain a fuller social life than meeting random strangers are bars and clubs (although if you can meet people that way, it's cool too, some folks are good at it).