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  1. #1
    chiefster1976 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Shes Says shes keen then drops the bombshell

    Hi guys.. Just recently met a chick through a online date site,through facebook although she said she wasnt aware her profile was still up there, emailed her and began some great chat online..
    We seem to hit it off straight away and she seemed comfortable and able to talk about almost anything.. Our first meet was just a drink to test the waters,had fun and shes a deep chick.. Shes into spiritual stuff which is over my head but tried to tune in and feel what she was saying as this girl is a 9...
    After a second meet for drinks she text me later and said, '' im really enjoying getting to know you,going with the flow and i have to say im keen on you ,but shush dont tell anyone....''

    On the next meeting we had dinner and just chilled at her mates place, which was a bit boring...
    Although this girl said she is keen on me and wants to get to know me, she sent me and email saying she is in a place in her life, thats shes realised she needs to concentrate on herself and not get into a relationship right now... Dont want to string you along blah blah..
    My question is ,yeah shes into herself right now but is there a passing message i can leave her with to make her feel shes made the wrong decision and wanting to come back or is this a total car wreck??

    thanks for any advice froma newbe to the forum...Gav..

  2. #2
    _Sitfab_ is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Shes Says shes keen then drops the bombshell

    Best thing to do right now is to freeze her out for the moment and come back a few weeks later and start gaming her again. This time be sure to have a solid gaming plan, because she did feel attracted to you but something got lost on the way and from the details you wrote, I'm not sure if you were the cause or she actually does focuses on herself right now, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and bet it's the former. All is not lost.

  3. #3
    chiefster1976 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Shes Says shes keen then drops the bombshell

    thanks for the advice up to press...Should i be emailing her back righ now, just saying i understand email me when your ready? Also when is the best time to try and game her back again??

    Need al;l the help i can get at the gaming situation..lol.

  4. #4
    _Sitfab_ is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Shes Says shes keen then drops the bombshell

    No, no, don't e-mail her anything ( unless you didn't respond to her "being focused on herself" message. If you didn't, send her the mail ).

    Best time? Whichever one of these comes first : I would say freeze her out 3-4 weeks or more and then send her a light and fun message. Or until she texts you first, then game.

    But remember, make sure you have a solid game plan the next time. Also, it wouldn't hurt gaming other girls in the meantime either.

  5. #5
    chiefster1976 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Shes Says shes keen then drops the bombshell

    So let me get this right,i DIDNT respond yet to the finding herself message so i should reply to that one and then leave it for a a few weeks?? What would be a good message to make her think whats she may have lost?? Thanks so much for the replies Sitfab..

  6. #6
    _Sitfab_ is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Shes Says shes keen then drops the bombshell

    Yes, you got that right.

    I don't usually say anything to get her thinking she lost something, either I imply/convey it ( mostly from facebook updates and general attitude ) or just move on.

  7. #7
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Shes Says shes keen then drops the bombshell

    Quote Originally Posted by _Sitfab_ View Post
    No, no, don't e-mail her anything ( unless you didn't respond to her "being focused on herself" message. If you didn't, send her the mail ).

    Best time? Whichever one of these comes first : I would say freeze her out 3-4 weeks or more and then send her a light and fun message. Or until she texts you first, then game.

    But remember, make sure you have a solid game plan the next time. Also, it wouldn't hurt gaming other girls in the meantime either.
    I also agree with Freezing Her Out and always have a few girls in the pipeline as a matter of course. But a wildcard option is to ignore what she says about not wanting a relationship or whatever and take her. When I was young, I had a few girls who would say this (almost exactly what she told you) and id go 'oh ok, sure' and leave them be but later I thought 'who doesn't want a relationship on some level?'. Next time I heard that or the dreaded 'we can be friends' I just acted more aggressively and got the girl. She could be serious, it could be a sh!t test. She may not check your FB updates. It's a risk but hey she already went out with you before and said she was keen on you and risk is part of the game. 'You win some you loose some, it's all the same to me' Lemmy, motorhead.

    The other thing to consider with her being a 'spiritual' girl is does she take drugs and do you? If you're clean cut and she's smoking DMT in her spare time you may not be compatible haha.

  8. #8
    chiefster1976 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Shes Says shes keen then drops the bombshell

    O.k here is what im thinking of sending her...Im sure its against ALL of what you believe in but we have made it thus far in a deep connection... Ill go out on a limb here and post what i FEEL i should write...here goes..

    ."" I see where your coming from..knowing you thus far has been great...you have a good heart and i can see your searching for yourself..I didnt mean to for you to think i was making fun of you the night. Im new to speaking to someone with these believes and as you must know some people would run a mile..Im not that type of guy...Its a challenge you have to face and hopefully you can beat it..Im a guy who doesnt make judgments easily on people, i still would like get to know you more,(your true self), as you said you was keen on me!! its true you can feel that i am also. . ,i feel your passion to find yourself WE are ALL trying constantly in our own ways to do that.. I hope you dont think knowing me would make you make the same mistakes!! I take care of myself,i have my shit together , im not a drunk or into crazy drugs..Im a guy who treats the women with respect and i respect where your at ATM.. I felt the crowds situation is overpowering you and i hope you can eventually deal with that,as im sure thats what stopped you as YOU said wanting to get to know me!!! Its like you carnt focus on the person infront of you, i wanted to tell you this earlier but wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt and hopefully you could work through it and once you can do that let someone else into your life!! For now its best your are single!! ''

    Maybe you think its lame in guessing.. Other ideas are appreciated??

  9. #9
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Shes Says shes keen then drops the bombshell

    No no no no... She should not be single - she should be with you. Ignore everything she has said to you (except that she likes you ), don't contact her for a week and then ask her out again. Somewhere not so date like and fun but she can't refuse 'hey I got a spare ticket to a concert join me'. Act like you were so busy you didn't even see her last message or you're confident enough to blast through it and get her anyway.

    You're not her shrink or father. Don't say anything, less is more. Certainly I wouldn't say anything about what you hope for or want. Dont condescend her, she will hate that. You need to have the vocabulary of a man who 'gets' who 'succeeds'. If not with her it will be with someone else. Her loss. No offense but your last post is long winded, all over the place and missing a spell check. Start working on a plan B, she simply may not be compatible.

  10. #10
    Coup is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Shes Says shes keen then drops the bombshell

    freeze her out for a few weeks. don't send that email...she will take it as a reason to lose you. That email basically says to her that you approve of her leaving you....don't give her that confirmation, sending it will make her confusion justified! Freeze her and say nothing, let her reopen. She will. Because you froze her basically in a emotional state that will be short lived and once this passes she will seek her last healthy emotional state and the person in it. You.

    If you don't freeze her out I would forget immediately that she is feeling that way and carry on as normal and be sure not to let her know you are affected by it emotionally. Be so confident that she will feel safe around you, iron through this like already mentioned by WD, and be amazed how quickly her emotions and situation changes toward you. Be a man about it and never forget the foundational principles you already know.

    can you explain specifically her spiritual views ? women tend to think they are unique or deep and or special when they say this, but often it's pretty normal and them being carried away on what are typically common views we all hold. for some reason she may be using this as a crutch. she is not deep probably. It's important NOT TO FEED INTO THIS BS.


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