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  • 1 Post By Virgil

Thread: Struck out on what should have been a sure thing..

  1. #1
    samgpr50 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Struck out on what should have been a sure thing..

    Hi all,

    This is my first post and I'm hoping someone can shed some light on this for me. So this morning about 2am I got a message from a girl asking me to come over and see her. So I went down to pick her up and bring her back to my place.

    We got back there and all was going well we went straight to my room and started to watch some tv. We started to kiss and it started to go a little futher before she stopped me and said she would not sleep with me tonight.

    Was it something I did? I thought it was a sure thing. So after that we talked and I took her home she did lean in to kiss me as she got out of the car. Any ideas please? Not sure if I am meeting her again today we did talk about it. Thanks in advance.

  2. #2
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Struck out on what should have been a sure thing..

    Last Minute Resistance (LMR).

    There are multiple ways to break that:

    -Style's way. When she resists, instantly break the entire vibe. Get up from the bed, put the lights on and pick up your laptop to "check your email". Then, when she asks what's going on, tell her you are turned off when women don't want to have sex.

    -Bill Preston's way. To get all the steps of PUA (approach, attraction, comfort, rapport, seduction) right and use Kino. At the end, if you have done everything right, she won't resist anymore. The preparation is 90% of the lay.

    -Vin DiCarlo's way. It's in the ebook in this thread. Easiest to use.

    I had another one in mind, but I can't remember it. I'd recommend Style's or Vin Dicarlo's way because they focus on the actual moment itself. Bill's way starts when you approach the girl, but you already know her well.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Struck out on what should have been a sure thing..

    Looks like this case is closed. Virgil hit it right on the head. I want to add that I think you are fortunate to have such a clear cut issue with a woman. That means we can give you a clear cut answer that we know will work.

    With that I'd like to share a similar experience...one night I brought a woman home from a nightclub. We bumped into each other a few times so we were somewhat familiar. While at my house we were cozied up on the couch watching tv and we started kissing. I would end the kissing first and go back to watching tv. After a few times of this she says "I don't want to have sex." I gave her this look like I thought she was weird for saying that and gave her a big grin and said "Ok.....I love this episode of Family Guy." We started on/off kissing and she said it again. Actually trying to explain WHY she didn't want to (I guess not to hurt my feelings). So again I gave her that look, smiled, and said "It's really ok.....Oh man this is my favorite part of the episode." Then the next thing she said I won't forget......"Do you have a condom" My smile got pretty big after that.

    Not sure exactly what I was doing other than trying to focus on something else rather then add WEIGHT to the idea of her not wanting to have sex. I was focused on changing her mood, not her mind.

    This was one incident since I don't encounter LMR too much. But I thought maybe you could pick something up that you may be able to use. Hope this helps and good luck.

  4. #4
    samgpr50 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Struck out on what should have been a sure thing..

    Thank you very much both of you. Your story does sound very simalar to mine however when I changed the subject I never went back for another go. We did kiss some more but I wasn't sure what to make of it all and she did make a point of saying we could tomorrow (today now) so I guess I'll give her a ring later and hopefully come back with a success story. Thanks again!!

  5. #5
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Struck out on what should have been a sure thing..

    Another cool way to deal with LMR is to actually start the LMR i.e. it is you saying, "we are going to fast" or "we should slow down."

    By doing this you're potentially taking LMR out of the equation. However, as you're voicing the LMR you don't stop the escalation either.

    rs5096

  6. #6
    ejdominique01 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Struck out on what should have been a sure thing..

    Similar Situation EMERGENCY NEED HELP

    Virgil or anyone who's available its help me out. I had an HB 8.5. At the house tonight watching a new movie with me. The background is we work at the same office she likes me I like her we flirt on text and by eye contact. And we've spoken or texted just a few times so I finally said fark it and asked her out on a date. Perfect so we ended up watching a movie on my bed 21 jump street. Built up the courage to kiss her put my hand on cheek and kiss close. Tongue but I think I messed it up as I stopped it. So we're watching a movie she hasn't seen before never again watching an old movie so she won't be too interested on it.
    Sticking Point: So after the first few kisses I try to escalate by kissing on the neck but not working I'm even cuddling a little with her. So I decide I'll wait til the end of the movie but nothing. She wouldn't even give me a good kiss tonight just a peck.
    Help me were did I mess up? And should I freeze her out at work or text her something. Please I was so close dang you LMR
    Where did I mess? Too much for a first date maybe? Also Had condoms in the draw were my gum was at and of course she saw it is that bad?

  7. #7
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Struck out on what should have been a sure thing..

    Quote Originally Posted by ejdominique01 View Post
    Similar Situation EMERGENCY NEED HELP

    Virgil or anyone who's available its help me out. I had an HB 8.5. At the house tonight watching a new movie with me. The background is we work at the same office she likes me I like her we flirt on text and by eye contact. And we've spoken or texted just a few times so I finally said fark it and asked her out on a date. Perfect so we ended up watching a movie on my bed 21 jump street. Built up the courage to kiss her put my hand on cheek and kiss close. Tongue but I think I messed it up as I stopped it. So we're watching a movie she hasn't seen before never again watching an old movie so she won't be too interested on it.
    Sticking Point: So after the first few kisses I try to escalate by kissing on the neck but not working I'm even cuddling a little with her. So I decide I'll wait til the end of the movie but nothing. She wouldn't even give me a good kiss tonight just a peck.
    Help me were did I mess up? And should I freeze her out at work or text her something. Please I was so close dang you LMR
    Where did I mess? Too much for a first date maybe? Also Had condoms in the draw were my gum was at and of course she saw it is that bad?
    I don't think this is LMR. She may have been on your bed but it wasn't more than kissing. Perhaps she doesn't want to do it right away because she's your co-worker and some women are extremely fearful of being judged as a slut. She might also like you for more than just sex and thus withhold it. On the second date, take what you want, though. With respect for her, of course. You don't want to start any kind of relationship with the woman in charge of when you have sex.


    700th post!


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