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Thread: Doubts on PUA community

  1. #1
    DandyLion's Avatar
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    Default Doubts on PUA community

    Hello,

    Maybe i'm not receiving as much success as i'd like with women, but I kind of get The Vibe that all of this stuff, the tactics and techniques only work on girls that are intelligent (or maybe i'm just making everything i say too complex).

    I'm not sure i like having to be a completely different person, or say things i normally wouldn't say.

    I'd be able to get girls before because i'm quiet, introverted, and mysterious, and I'm honestly not sure i can just become an extrovert, or the life of the party in the blink of the eye.

    Basically what i'm trying to say is I kind of feel like it's a bit lame to just go up to girls and pick them up, and isn't something i'd normally do because of the way my personality is set up.

    I just feel like i want a get girl through who i am, and not changing everything about me.

    Can anyone try to change my mind?

    Regards,

    DandyLion

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Doubts on PUA community

    I totally empathize with you!
    That was one of the things I told myself when I started learning the "pickup" game techniques.

    I mean, YES, I DO want to meet more women & become more comfortable at doing that. I also want to be successful.

    But I definitely didn't want to act like somebody I'm not. I know I'd never be able to pull it off, because my body language would speak louder than my words.

    So, I realized that the main points it takes to be successful at this, are traits that I either already have, or that I DO want to develop:

    Confident - Self-assured - Humorous- Upbeat- Friendly- Witty- Sensual- Comfortable/Relaxed - More Sociable.
    All of these are positive traits.

    I realized I don't have to be a jerk, or a player... I can actually be a "Respectable Man".


    My personal reasons for wanting to know HOW to get women, is because I wanted to finally meet & attract the kind of women I WANT, rather than settling for the "best available option".

    What I've been doing is reading & learning everything I can, and only applying the things that I feel actually fit my personality, or that I'm comfortable doing.

    Everything else I've either dismissed & cut out, OR looked for ways to alter it, so that I can incorporate it to fit who I am and still achieve the results I'm looking for.

    So, you don't really have to become someone you're not, or don't want to be; Instead, you can become the best version of "YOU".



    Hope that makes sense.


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  3. #3
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Doubts on PUA community

    look man you don't have to change who you are to get women!!! that is a big lie! all you have to do is overcome your inhibitions that keep you from being who you really are. (like your shyness)

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Doubts on PUA community

    DandyLion,

    I feel you, but the PUA community isn't going to change unless we change it. All of the misconceptions exist because great guys like you aren't speaking out. It's easy to walk away, but if you want change you need to be change.

    But trust me man, I feel you.

    -Cody
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  5. #5
    DandyLion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Doubts on PUA community

    Quote Originally Posted by tmalonetn View Post
    I totally empathize with you!
    That was one of the things I told myself when I started learning the "pickup" game techniques.

    I mean, YES, I DO want to meet more women & become more comfortable at doing that. I also want to be successful.

    But I definitely didn't want to act like somebody I'm not. I know I'd never be able to pull it off, because my body language would speak louder than my words.

    So, I realized that the main points it takes to be successful at this, are traits that I either already have, or that I DO want to develop:

    Confident - Self-assured - Humorous- Upbeat- Friendly- Witty- Sensual- Comfortable/Relaxed - More Sociable.
    All of these are positive traits.

    I realized I don't have to be a jerk, or a player... I can actually be a "Respectable Man".


    My personal reasons for wanting to know HOW to get women, is because I wanted to finally meet & attract the kind of women I WANT, rather than settling for the "best available option".

    What I've been doing is reading & learning everything I can, and only applying the things that I feel actually fit my personality, or that I'm comfortable doing.

    Everything else I've either dismissed & cut out, OR looked for ways to alter it, so that I can incorporate it to fit who I am and still achieve the results I'm looking for.

    So, you don't really have to become someone you're not, or don't want to be; Instead, you can become the best version of "YOU".



    Hope that makes sense.
    tmalonetn,

    Really appreciate your sincere feedback.

    I'm glad there people like you that understand my frustration.

    I mean i don't think looks matter, if anything, they're a hindrance to picking up women, because you're held to an even higher standard than without them.

    My frustration I suppose stems with my discontentment in just getting average girls. It doesn't seem fair to me that just random guys who don't even have game seem to end up with the 10s. I'm not saying this is always the case, but it sure seems like it a lot of times.

    I guess i just don't want to change who I am. I joined this forum so that I could hopefully find that special girl, but I feel like it should be more natural, in that I shouldn't have to chase them down.

    Regards,

    DandyLion

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Doubts on PUA community

    Quote Originally Posted by Cody View Post
    DandyLion,

    I feel you, but the PUA community isn't going to change unless we change it. All of the misconceptions exist because great guys like you aren't speaking out. It's easy to walk away, but if you want change you need to be change.

    But trust me man, I feel you.

    -Cody
    Cody,

    Could you explain a little more what you mean by these misconceptions?

    Regards,

    DandyLion

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Doubts on PUA community

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    look man you don't have to change who you are to get wemon!!! that is a big lie! all you have to do is overcome your inhibitions that keep you from being who you really are. (like your shyness)
    Meteora,

    Yes i understand that, but doesn't that Take Away some of who I am. I'm naturally introverted, so by overcoming this shyness, won't this take away some of the mystique and aura to my current personality?

    Regards,

    DandyLion

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Doubts on PUA community

    Actually, the more confident you become by being more outwardly social & overcoming shyness, the more it enhances your mystique. Because you'll have a lot of other things you'll be able to talk about, while holding back whatever you want, until the time is right.

    By NOT being shy, you'll be more comfortable engaging them in conversations, which in it's own right has an aura all it's own. (You'll stand out from the chumps who ask her the usual "job interview" questions, that bore her to tears.)



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  9. #9
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: Doubts on PUA community

    Maybe i'm not receiving as much success as i'd like with women, but I kind of get The Vibe that all of this stuff, the tactics and techniques only work on girls that are intelligent (or maybe i'm just making everything i say too complex).
    -U're right, most of this stuff only works on strong intelligent mature women the hardest women to get, women most guys dream of having.
    I'm not sure i like having to be a completely different person, or say things i normally wouldn't say
    -I think i told u before u're style u're words we can only set u on the right path.
    -It's not meant to change who u are but enhance u're good qualities, reduce u're bad ones, get u more confidence
    -if u just spit out stuff u have memorized u won't be able to defend urself when questionned thus ruining u in front of the group.

    -It's not supposed to be over night

    -u think i'm that extravorted?
    Basically what i'm trying to say is I kind of feel like it's a bit lame to just go up to girls and pick them up, and isn't something i'd normally do because of the way my personality is set up.
    I just feel like i want a get girl through who i am, and not changing everything about me.
    -Personally, i feel that in comfort more specifacely deep rapport u should show her who u really are outside society, get it? I'll try to explain it more everyone has something called a social mask, a personality we take on in society the one we feel more comfortable beeing: the clown, the quiet/shy guy, the leader, the mean guy, the intelligent guy , the one that has to one up everything someone says to him........ U're social mask should change not you.
    -I always said the day that i'd truly change (my beliefs, religion, priorities) I will leave the community for good and never look back.
    -I might not know u but u seem like a pretty cool intelligent guy that can get great results thanks to this.
    -Think about what I said , REALLY think about it, it's a decision that requires a lot of maturity and thought that only u can make.
    -After that if u still want to leave than leave.
    P.S:
    -I love how u structure u're posts and like to answer them, it's so much easier to pin point where the probleme is.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  10. #10
    Bandit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Doubts on PUA community

    Hey man, I get where you're coming from. A lot of people do. I wrote a post about how I was worried that Pick Up was changing me for the worst. It's here you want to read it. But don't focus on what I wrote, look at the responses. Everyone goes through a period where they start to have doubts. I was personally worried that I was losing a part of myself.

    The trick is to make it your own. If you become someone else you're just being fake and people will pick up on it. You've got to adapt your game to who you are. Of you're the strong silent type, then be that. No one says you have to go to clubs or pick up high energy girls, you can pick up girls in coffee shops or book stores or at work or on the street or at the pool or anywhere you want. The point is, make it your own. My game isn't anything like Cody's or Virgils or Xavier's or Roosters or Tyrone's or anyone else's cause its mine. I made it my own and so did they, and so can you. It is completely possible.

    One last thing. You don't have to be the life of the party to be considered social. Just be genuinely interested in other people, make them feel like they matter, and they'll be drawn to you. You can still be reserved and quiet, just don't shut people out.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”


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