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Thread: Reducing Buyers Remorse - "S4"

  1. #1
    Autismus's Avatar
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    Default Reducing Buyers Remorse - "S4"

    *This isn't long... it's thorough.


    Typically LMR (S2) is the latest point in game that we discuss. Even MM doesn't elaborate much beyond sex (S3). But there is one more element to game if you want more than a ONS; whether you want to see if this girl becomes a GF, a LTR, a FWB or a I don't know what - you must be able to get around buyers remorse - shall we say (S4)? or (R1) "Relationship 1".


    That is, of course, assuming you want to see her again.




    Assessing her Body Language Post-Coitus


    Judging by the number of times we've all posted titles like "I f-closed, then she goes NC - what do I do???" I think it's safe to say that a girl will not tell you that she is leaning toward BR (buyers remorse). So here are some tips for reading her post-coitus body language!


    On her side facing away from you - this is a protective posture, it means that she guards her emotions and has not yet let you in. To reduce BR hold her hand during cuddling and don't press your woody against her. Talk to her like a person in post-game.


    On her stomach - this is the "jumping off a cliff" pose. She has taken an uninhibited leap without knowing where it will land her. BR is likely. To reduce BR, don't cuddle, lay on your back (maybe with an arm under her, maybe not) and wait for her to warm up to you. You're going to need to build ALOT of comfort to keep her around.


    On her side facing you - again, lying on her side is a protective pose, and if she's facing you it means she's decided to let you in emotionally. BR is unlikely but, for the sake of all men who she will encounter her in the furuter, stay in contact with her and don't let her regret being open to men.


    On her back, arms at her sides - this posture is called "the soldier." It is the standard, routine sleep. For this girl, getting laid is just business as usual. Cuddle some but not too much - enjoy the moment (cuddle some) but remain aloof (cuddle less than usual). BR is highly unlikely, but unless the sex was excellent (for her) she probably won't be very motivated to call you. If the sex was great (for her), then during breakfast or post-coitus interactions, say "that was decent, but I think we can do better *cocky smile*" OR if the sex was bad (for her) - maybe it had been a while, maybe it was an off night, maybe you were too zooted to perform well (been there ) - then own it and say this, "wow, that was terrible! lol seriously you gotta give me another chance - I do NOT want THAT performance to be how you remember me."


    On her back, arms at or above her head - laying as if her arms are frozen in mid-flail, is a pose that says she's fed up. Maybe she's fed up with her job, her car, her overdue rent, her husband, her habit of sleeping with random guys - I don't know and neither do you (unless you were listening during the comfort stage ) - but it doesn't matter why she's fed up and stressed out. If you help her relax by giving her a masage (but don't wake her for it) or by making her breakfast (because you always get up early) then she will be more likely to text or call you later... be a gentleman, just don't be her b1tch.




    Same Night - Post Sex Interactions


    To reduce BR, you have to build comfort - do it as if you are in C2, not C3, C2. Also, just talk to her like a normal friend. Don't neg, don't dhv, don't run routines, don't game her at all - just talk about what is current in your life as well as in hers. Keep it low-energy as if you two would be comfortable sharing a silence. If she is asleep, then you will of course need to wake her.


    To Wake Her
    - Send an Email - before she falls asleep, tell you just remembered an email you were going to send when you got home, and ask to use her computer. Then get distracted on fb, then on tumblr, then on youtube, laugh out loud and make enough noise to keep her up. When she asks what you're doing tell her she HAS to see this adorably funny picture of a cat... or whatever.
    - Search for Pajamas - as you're dozing off ask to borrow some pajamas and then ask her tons of questions as you try to find them "in the top droor? the dresser, right? because this feels like a table? it's your desk? where is the dresser? by the door? with the lamp on it? etc"
    - Sensual Masage - once she's kinda up, give her a masage that leads to making out. Remember that the making out is only a ploy to wake her up, not to escalate to seduction.
    - Shower - Don't do it unless she comes with you.


    DO NOT LEAVE HER ALONE! If you leave her alone with her thoughts then the spell that you have gamed so hard to cast will be broken and BR will exponentiate.


    Once She's Awake
    - Sitting In Bed - afterwards, if you're both still up, instead of awkward silence talk about your plans for the next day, then move the non-game conversation from there. Just sitting in bed works, but ideally you will have some other tangible activity going on.
    - Seeing What's on TV - after you've started talking, turn on the tele and start flipping through the channels as you talk.
    - Smoking - ask her if she smokes after sex - if strong no, then say "good, I hoped not", if "meh" or "yes" then share a smoke and talk some.
    - Shower - let her initiate this - if you suggest it you may end up in the shower alone, thus leaving her with her thoughts - not good.
    -Swimming - if she has a pool, a beach or a lake then go down for a late night swim... sans clothing
    - Sensual Masage - perform the sensual masage in a manner that builds comfort and doesn't seem like you are just trying to initiate sex.
    - Show Interest in her Place - examine some interesting item on her shelf or table or wall, ask her about the story behind it and relate it to a story of yours, then relate the story to your plans for the next day.
    - Snacking - grab a snack with some assembly required (chips and salsa? pizza pockets? etc) maybe take it outside with some drinks under the stars.
    - Star Gazing - get excited and tell her that now is a great time to see a rare constellation (because you're not usually up at this hour) take her outside and run a few of your constellation routines on her... p.s. have constellation routines.


    Says: "It's time to leave" If she promptly says this, then assume that the sex was bad for her - first, agree and start helping gather clothes. Second, say this: "wow, that was terrible! lol seriously you gotta give me another chance - I do NOT want THAT performance to be how you remember me."




    The Morning After


    Morning Sex, is fine, but let it be initiated on her terms and make sure it's really good for her.


    Breakfasting, over a bowl of cornflakes, plate of eggs, slice of bread and some juice, talk to her about what you're doing later that day (DHV a little here, but keep it low energy and somewhat bland). Ask her about her plans for the day (not in a "what are you doing later today? lets make plans" sort of way, but a "what are you doing later today? making conversation" sort of way).


    The drive home - though most may prefer the walk of shame - this is another chance to just chat with her as you would with a friend. This casual chat is what helps her feel like there is a comfortable low-energy rapport between you.


    As you part ways, give her a slightly-conservative kiss that makes her want more, but so that she doesn't think you are trying to escalate to morning sex.




    Texting her Later that Day or Week


    There is no really consistent rule for texting her later - it will vary immensely according per girl, per situation and per content/quality of your interaction. Wait several hours or a day or two, then text her asking about how her plans went... you know, those plans you asked her about over breakfast... O.o


    If she stays NC for like two weeks after you hook up, then she probably has BR. My first advice would be: move on. But if you insist on pursueing her, the only move I know of is sending the hail-mary text of: "[her name] I don't usually get into bed so quickly, but I feel like we had a connection. Let's take is slower and see where this goes."


    Good hunting men!
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  2. #2
    Cody's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reducing Buyers Remorse - "S4"

    Wow. Good work, Autismus. This is legit.

    I like the perspective. As it applies to me, it honestly doesn't. Not bragging, I've just never had to deal with buyers remorse. I don't actually sleep with that many girls. I let them do stuff to me but I only return the favor if I value them as a person. Crude, I know, so sex is even further away on the spectrum. I build a massive amount of comfort/rapport before ever getting to that point, and consequently I'm kind of a d*ck after sex. Seems counterintuitive, I know, but I only mean that from the outside looking in, because the girls know me and they know what they got themselves into. Five minutes later I'm back on my computer, and they're okay with it. It's actually why they like me, because I put a lot of things before sex/women.

    Again, great post.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  3. #3
    Autismus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reducing Buyers Remorse - "S4"

    Thanks Cody!

    And people said a degree in Psych would be a waste of time
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  4. #4
    bucks is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Reducing Buyers Remorse - "S4"

    Excellent. Thanks for sharing.

  5. #5
    serp777 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Reducing Buyers Remorse - "S4"

    I'd be happy just getting buyers remorse^2. How is this an issue--you get to sleep with the woman that you wanted to?

  6. #6
    Autismus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reducing Buyers Remorse - "S4"

    Quote Originally Posted by serp777 View Post
    I'd be happy just getting buyers remorse^2. How is this an issue--you get to sleep with the woman that you wanted to?
    Serp I hope you're kidding.

    Why Worry About Buyers Remorse

    #1 - "Leave her better than you found her" - you have TWO cardinal rules of Pick-Up to follow and this is half of them (the other is don't lie) the rest are all just guidelines and morally debatable. If she has BR that means she wishes she hadn't done it, because she isn't better off.

    #2 - Innergame / Congruence. Always your inner game should be intrinsic, so whether or not a girl ignores you or chases you the day after should be irrelevant - right? Well yeah, ideally. But the reality is, until you get to that absolute level of inner game, the actions of women will still take their toll. And even the most solid inner game can be compromised by the tiny chink of incongruence with reality. Basically reducing BR will increase women chasing you the day after, and women chasing you is a reality most congruent with the inner-game of the high-value man.

    #3 - Word Gets Around more than PUA's and Slores combine. If you live in a city of fewer than 1,000,000 people, then chances are you will one day game a chick who is one degree of separation away from a chick you once closed. Having loose-ends of BR lying around will only function as reverse preselection (DE-selection) the next time you visit the common pub.

    #4 - We All Want to Win. Let's be honest, we all play the game to win. Maybe we get into the game for the thrill of the hunt; maybe because we enjoy beautiful women; maybe we've lived too long bitterly in the FZ; whatever the reason, once that drive is satisfied, it comes down to we all want to find that sexy / cool / perfect chick, and game over, LTR, you win the game. Mystery imagined one day 'winning' with a nice double LTR set. Either way, there's got to be a morning after.

    ...if we can hold on to the night...
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  7. #7
    serp777 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Reducing Buyers Remorse - "S4"

    I'm not kidding; just jealous. BR would imply i'm having sex. I guess i'm not really that relevant to this thread; probably shouldn't have commented.

  8. #8
    Autismus's Avatar
    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Reducing Buyers Remorse - "S4"

    Quote Originally Posted by serp777 View Post
    probably shouldn't have commented.
    Always post if you feel the need bro, don't hesitate to ask if you think of a question
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

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    Big Shawn is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Reducing Buyers Remorse - "S4"

    Greeat advice, man. Made me laugh a lot with your parenthases and jokes. Whole blog was really in depth and interesting. Thanks for this

  10. #10
    LockDown's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reducing Buyers Remorse - "S4"

    Cant believe i missed this before. While im not totally into the "phases" BR explains alot of stuff i noticed before.

    Cool cool post man. And the follow up post was gold as well!
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde



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