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Thread: 1st date after reading PUA - field report - bleh

  1. #1
    aeromyth is offline PUA in Training
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    Default 1st date after reading PUA - field report - bleh

    Hey all,

    After having gone through some massive reading of forums, books and pdfs, I decided to give it a go and see how I can manage by myself.

    Before I begin, I would like to point out that I am using PUA to get a girlfriend and am not interested in ONS.

    So, I met this HB6 at a party a couple of weeks ago and the first contact was pretty good. There was a lot of noise and we were both in a hurry at the end, so I simply gave her my business card and told her to write me back. And so she did the next day and even added me as a friend on facebook. I suggested that we meet again in a tenday (there was a public holiday, so I was out of town) for drinks or something like that and she agreed.

    I can tell she is quite proactive. Upon my return, she contacted me again asking me if I was back and how my vacation went. I acted slightly distant in my first reply and then she went straight to the point and said "let's meet".

    So far so good.

    I had no intention to f*close on the first date as I first wanted to know her better and see if she's really my type. So, we met for drinks last night. For a first date, we arrived both late (but at the same time nevertheless). How cool is that? I always suck at being punctual with friends, lol.


    Things that seemed ok:
    -I tried to pay attention to body language. I was turned towards her, quite close and she didn't seem to mind. I couldn't bring myself to do much Kino (touched her once or twice when I was about to bring up a new subject of discussion). She, on the other hand, touched me a bit more. The thing is that I usually don't make a move if I am not sure I like the girl.
    -She seemed to try to find some common points. For example, she brought up this whole astrology crap (how classic) and she concluded that she always got along well with people of my sign.
    -We had some good laughs and she suggested to take me to some cool bars I didn't know about.

    Things that sucked:
    -So, I went to fetch some drinks at the bar and came back quicker than expected. She was texting somebody (I managed to catch a glimpse of a guy's name). She was kinda surprised when she saw me and she immediately took away her phone from my field of vision. Mmm, she could be a player...
    -I was struggling to find discussion topics. There were these blank moments, which I absolutely dread. I had to quickly come up with something interesting. In the end, we talked about classing things like hobbies, things to do in town, traveling, uni (we went to exactly the same places), people in general, etc.
    -What surprised is that she didn't enquire much about me (from my past experience, I could tell that a girl was interested by the number of questions she would ask me). I have an interesting past as I have lived in quite a lot of countries and this usually appeals to chicks. I did throw some clues at her, but she didn't catch the bait.
    -Near the end of the date, she was looking at her watch (!!! really bad sign !!!). Fortunately, I had a birthday party to go to just afterwards (had a present with me, etc.), so I didn't pass as a complete loser.


    In conclusion, I don't think she had a great time but it's not a real loss as we didn't have that many things in common in the end. She appeared kinda cold and not romantic at all (she also admitted not liking to touch other people - when mentioning the French custom of everyone kissing each other's cheek as a way of greeting. She was mainly brought up by her father and had a boyish attitude. She also seemed to be quite an egoist and difficult to please. The more she talked about herself, the less I liked her.

    Near the end, I was a bit pissed off about how the whole date turned out, so I threw in a reference to my ex in the discussion. I love to do that as, without exception, chicks react to that. You can easily tell as their look changes for a couple of seconds, lol.

    Anyway, I wanted to use this date as practice to see what's wrong with my game and I realise that I have a looooooooooooong way to go still. I may have not what it takes to seduce effectively, I don't know...

    Again, it's a numbers game, so I need to try meeting more chicks.

    Thanks for reading my post!

  2. #2
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: 1st date after reading PUA - field report - bleh

    looks like you had an ok date, though you failed to see some obvious ioi's, she touched you (any time a girl kno's its a big ioi especialy since she told you she didn't like touching other people), her saying "she gets along well with guys who have your sign" (wich was something she probably tells every guy she likes whatever their sign is) she seems to me like a "player" every now and then you will encounter girls like this. but on the other hand most girls will "see" other guys until they are "in a relationship" with you (most girls don't acknoledge that they are "in a relationship" until 3 or 4 dates) she will probably friendzone you within the next week or so if she didn't have a good time learn as much as you can from her, try out some new techniques on her. you can learn alot from girls like this

  3. #3
    aeromyth is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 1st date after reading PUA - field report - bleh

    Thanks for the feedback!

    I am not so much pissed about not getting her, but more about my own incompetence. Anyway, I also lost interest near the end as she was not my type (she was cute though).

    What really pisses me off is that I can have some great and funny discussions with my friends but I cannot shine in the same manner during dates. Let's admit it, I am horribly bad at handling them.

    Anyway, I have been thinking more about my mistakes:

    - no Kino Escalation
    - no DHVs: I didn't want to show off too much, but maybe I was wrong...
    - I forgot to use routines and games in order to amuse/tease her and appear as cocky/funny
    - I lost my tempo many times as I couldn't find a transition from one topic to another. The end result was that she seemed to progressively lose interest. So, I need to work on my inner game.
    - The topics I brought up were probably too boring. What the f* am I supposed to talk about with a person I know almost nothing about? Maybe I should look for gals that have at least 1 or 2 common interests. I remember how I could talk for hours and hours with my ex. I have never been able to a person like her concerning this aspect.



    Some questions:

    1) Do you think I should have tried to ask about her relationship status and use this as an opportunity to talk about relationships in general (and play it alpha of course)?

    2) Should I have tried making her jealous by looking at other girls or would she have thought I am a player and therefore not worth her time?


    Cheers!

  4. #4
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: 1st date after reading PUA - field report - bleh

    Kino Escalation is what often makes the difference between being friendzoned and getting the girl, it is essential for success!
    i am sure you at least dhv'd a few times even not trying to, even in nuetral convorsation it is hard not to dhv at least a few times.
    in additon you don't need to use "routines" if you feel you don't need them, they should be used as suplaments to your game not cruches.
    as for your two questions:
    1. never directly ask about her relationship status (untill you are at the point where you both recognize that you are in a commited relationship with each other)
    2. jealousey plotlines are a recipe for disaster if you aren't subtle enough in the way you go about using them, i would just recomend staying away from them because they usualy cause more hastle than reward

  5. #5
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    Default Re: 1st date after reading PUA - field report - bleh

    When you are on a date, it should not be difficult. Remember to be playful and play along especially with IOIs. Dont think too hard on finding a topic, talk about something that happen in your childhood, and let her talk about her experiences and you transition from one topic to the next.

    The point I am trying to make is that you are holding on too tight. You shouldnt be walking on egg shells. She chased you for a date, you should be at ease and not caring what she thinks. You started to cater to her needs and her approval and thats when she felt unchallenged.

    So next time be a challenge and have fun.
    ------------------------------------

  6. #6
    aeromyth is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 1st date after reading PUA - field report - bleh

    Ok, here I am again as there was a new unexpected development yesterday.

    I was out with some friends during the whole night and had switched my cell to silent mode. When I got home (way past midnight), I saw that the chick in question had sent me a text message around 19:30:

    "I've seen your FB status,funny!If you do not have plans for tonight we could go drink smthing?"

    Wow, just wow! I had completely forgotten about her and here she comes back to me after that "failed" date.

    Even though she does have a cute face, she's definitely a spoiled brat and I am not interested in having her as a gf. However, she could be useful for my training purposes.

    So, I will reply to her later in the morning and tell her that I was with friends and saw her message late during the night, and that we could meet sometime in the middle/end of the coming week. That gives me the time to do my homework, haha.

    My number 1 priority is to act in a laid back manner and not look desperate (this is a recurring mistake of mine when I meet girls, I am always eager to please). I need to tease her more and appear as a challenge. For example, I mentioned that I love sushi and she quickly responded that she hates them (in general, she said that she hate restaurants and eating in general). I reacted the wrong way: I was taken aback (first time I meet someone like her) and tried to find another topic. I should have negged her perhaps...

    Secondly, I need to prepare dhv stories and work on my Kino.

    Thirdly, I need to learn how to build rapport and calibrate (easier said than done).


    Do you guys have any other specific advice (with concrete examples if possible) concerning my game with this girl? Things I should try or pay attention to at the next date?

    Thanks a lot!

  7. #7
    aeromyth is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 1st date after reading PUA - field report - bleh

    Update: she has been harassing me this afternoon. She posted a couple of videos on my fb wall and she sent me another text about an hour ago, telling me that she was going to the movies and that I could join her if I wanted.

    I bet she's feeling frustated that I am not running like a puppy whenever she texts me. No way, sis! My AFC years are behind me now

  8. #8
    hyp
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    Default Re: 1st date after reading PUA - field report - bleh

    she's definitely a spoiled brat

    this is where you don't treat her like anyone else would,
    don't let her get her way with you - remain alpha

    So, I will reply to her later in the morning and tell her that I was with friends and saw her message late during the night, and that we could meet sometime in the middle/end of the coming week.

    don't leave it that much open ended, say wednesday/thursday works good with you (for example)

    yeah if you said you were busy and would see her later in the week don't drop your plans unexpectedly to be with her before you initially said

    i think in your first post you highlighted well what you need to work on all the things you said you were "bad" at or needed practice in

    also i'm just backing meteora here, she does sound like a player --> especially not like eating at restaurants and sh1t, that's where couples go, players don't like that - or so they think

    GL and keep us posted

  9. #9
    aeromyth is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 1st date after reading PUA - field report - bleh

    Ok, so she basically harassed me during the whole day on Sunday. We had previously agreed to go to the movies together but hadn't agreed on which day.

    In the end, she told me that the movie we had agree to see was only played on Sundays and Mondays (I checked online, it was true), so I had to give in. We met on Monday evening after work.

    I teased her more and used more Kino to make her comfortable. Everything seemed to go smoothly, but I didn't manage to build rapport. Truth is that I don't know her that well. We talked a lot about movies and tv series (btw, she knows wayyy to much about tv series, she has watched all of them, even obscure unknown ones).

    After the movie, I was wondering if we would go for drinks. I observed her before saying anything and she seemed eager to get back home (started walking in direction of her place instead of in direction of the closest bars). She didn't suggest anything, so I didn't suggest anything either as I didn't want to appear needy (in my book, it would look bad if I had asked and she would have refused). To be honest, I was pretty tired from work and I guess so was she.

    Upon parting, we kissed on each other's cheeks as it is customary here (I remember what she told me during the first date). I noticed that she seemed a bit relunctant but she went along nevertheless. Either she was not attracted anymore or it was because I hadn't shaved for a week (lol, my bad, I wasn't expecting to see her so soon and everything was arranged at the last minute).

    I do not know what to think of that second date. I also do not know what to think of her. She does not look like an extremely positive/happy person. She is pretty much a realist, kinda sarcastic, and she criticises everything and everyone. Not my cup of tea, really. My ex was like that and it was one of the reasons we broke up.

    Anyway, my main worry is my game. I am not too sure if I handled things properly. Time will tell, I guess...

    Should I wait for her to contact me again or should I make a move (was thinking of taking her to a salsa bar on Saturday or something like that)?

  10. #10
    hyp
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    Default Re: 1st date after reading PUA - field report - bleh

    She didn't suggest anything, so I didn't suggest anything either as I didn't want to appear needy (in my book, it would look bad if I had asked and she would have refused).

    taking charge is an alpha trait, you can say lets get a drink, or lets do this, you don't have to do it for every single decision though otherwise it'll come across as Controlling --> saying it once is not needy, needy is "oh will you come get a drink with me??" sh1t like that


    by the sounds of it all you should adopt the mentality of that you have nothing to lose, and only everything to gain, i would've risked going for a full kiss close if she was ready to kiss you on the cheek, try to get as much as you can if you're ready to let go (y)

    personally i'd let her reinitiate contact / ask to see you again, if she's interested she'll show it (y)


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