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  1. #1
    ChiefZe is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need assitance with a co worker - interested but wont kiss or escalate

    Hi Guys.

    It's actually my first post here and i do hope i will get the advice i need, anyway i am not shy nor had major problems getting a girl that i wanted and just came out of a 3yr relationship with an amazing looking girl.

    now, few days ago i met a new girl at the place i work, she is stunning so obviously many guys hit on her constantly, i was a bit socially proofed and got her attention, did the cube test and it went well, we met few times and she did say she likes me and on the third time we met, i tried to kiss her and she avoided, saying it doesn't want to make it to easy, i said ok and we continued seeing each other more.

    one night i acted as an asshole next to her friends and she didn't speak with me the whole evening but when i was going away i did say that I'm sorry as i did make her feel bad in front of all her friends so she stopped me and we were talking for a bit, i escorted her back and didn't want to try anything as she was drunk and i didn't feel like taking advantage.

    next day she called and we met for a coffee, i told her that if she keeps like this i will stop and walk away as she cannot control the way it goes and told her that i do not wish to be her friend, she said she doesn't want to be my friend either (we both meant we want more) so i tried to kiss her again and....nothing, i mentioned that it was my off button because i cannot try and try, she needs to show interest.

    later in the evening i got a call, we met at the bar and after a while talking and making fun i grabbed a cigarette and she said i need to ask her for a lighter, i said i don't want a lighter i want her, than the boom question came, "Why do you want me"? i answered honestly, i said i think your cool and smart, reading books, likes extreme sport and adrenalin and if your face was less pretty it would have been easier to explain, anyway i told her i like the ugly girl inside her (as i mentioned she i she is one of the prettiest you can find).

    when i asked the same, there was silence, so i said its not fair, later she said she needs to think about it (its not a rocket science) a few minutes later i left.

    i told her that if i don't feel comfortable, i will continue being interested i will just leave and she will not see me again, she didn't like the idea.

    she called me after 10 minutes and asked if i am angry at her, i said no but i didn't want to wait for her like any other guy.

    we said good night and that's it....

    i am really interested in her, so if any opinions or advice guys?

  2. #2
    YOKiTran's Avatar
    YOKiTran is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need assitance with a cow worker - interested but wont kiss or escalate

    first off - i luv hitting on cow workers too.!

    ---// CONs
    so u played it right and made her curious... however, u don't need to prove anything by K-closing when ur not into it. - u think that K-closing is the right way to progress, but ur going against ur natural instinct not to.

    to boot, u sent her a negative vibe by not being into it... and when she called u out, u only fed into her ego (failed her Sh1t Test) by bending over and complimenting her (like all men before u) when u don't honestly know her like that yet.

    she then did what women do - and got totally turned off...

    had u went with ur instinct, u could've turned it into a positive play by kissing her nose instead.... remember, always have higher energy than her whichever option u chose.

    and i dunno ur wording or tone used to let her know ur boundary, but even when u let her be aware, u still have to remain polite and upbeat. later on u can be more serious, but ur relationship isn't even at the serious level yet.

    --// PROs
    but ur not at a complete lost... at least u did let her know u can walk away and this keeps her interest level high.

    to boot - this girl is a catch because its good to find one who is up front with what she thinks/feels without stringing u along to boost her ego.

    ur next play is to please act more positively when she dos not react the way u like... she is still NEW to u and doesn't want to feel slutty -- for which u were very quick to pounce on the chance of kissing her half-assed and obviously not enjoying it.... imagine putting out to a stranger and knowing their not really into it.

    continue using ur PUA skills - u did a good job, but allow urself to do what is natural to u.

    i personally also need to connect on a deeper level before i kiss (or if i'm wasted then idc).

    in the end - the prize is not K-close or F-close... u need to find what the prize for u is.
    example: Neil Strauss's true prize was to find his girl. i think he only considered whatever else he did as a stepping stone to find her.

    does this advice help u.?

    GL, mate.^^

  3. #3
    ChiefZe is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need assitance with a cow worker - interested but wont kiss or escalate

    Wow, first of thanks for the reply, you know it always helps keeping thoughts in order.

    The thing is that in the last 4-5 years i had a great amount of woman, mainly one - two night stands, i know how to read and analyze a person, with her - i fall short.

    I do get her and she is kind of surprised from the amount of knowledge i posses on human behavior and on the other side she pushes me, she is doing to me what i suppose to do to her and yes when i told her that i can walk away i said it in a very secured matter

    And yes the thing is that it's quit complicated to determine what i want, i went out of a relationship with a 10 and above and i know my ego cannot settle for less, and she is a 10, i think the k-close will make me more comfortable around her and most important more confident in what i do.

    But let me understand, you say i should continue seeing her but not to try anymore and show her in a way that i don't want to, correct?

    Thank you again mate, it is helpful advice.


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