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  1. #1
    brian.7704 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Kiss closed, now texting - maintaining dominance?

    Hey folks, need some advice ASAP.

    The story:
    Met a girl at the club the other night, HB.8 in my books. She and her friend actually approached me and my buddy at the bar. I turned it around quick and took the reins with a couple of subtle neg hits and some jokes, got a number and closed out. Ran into her later and hung out more - her friend was bitchy though and a serious obstacle because she spent the whole time (like 2+ hours) trying to call their ride to leave. My buddy did an awesome wingman job and got the friend away for a bit but I missed the opportunity to Isolate HB.8.

    I thought things were a bit up-and-down through the second interaction and I'm not sure I maintained dominance through it... BUT by the end of the night we had some serious Kino going and we kissed/ quickly made out just as they were about to leave, twice. She even initiated the first one. Got a couple texts from her that night apologizing for ditching me so quick, etc.

    NOW - Need advice here:
    She lives out of town, 40 min drive. This is the latest texts.

    Me: "We (my buddy and I) were talking about doing it again sometime soon, maybe next weekend or the one after. You guys should come, maybe a night where you aren't trying to leave the whole time eh? :P"

    Her: "I don't know about that! That's a pretty far drive for a night out and I'm a busy lady! Plus I think its your turn to come onto my home turf... its only fair"

    So now, I'm a bit stuck. I didn't make the strongest invitation. I'm moderately confident this chick wanted to go home with me last time except for her needy-ass friend. Do I accept an invitation like this, go there alone and try my luck? To me that seems to run the risk of appearing weak, and this girl has a feisty streak to boot.

    So, whats a confident and dominant way to say "No, you come here" without being stubborn and rude?

    Or is there a better way to run this?

    I realize the simple thing would be to simply forget this chick and go out and get a new one, but I want to work on my game by taking things as far as I can.

    Cheers!

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Kiss closed, now texting - maintaining dominance?

    I get your dilemma. It's tough. But simply put....DONT GO. Why? Well first, you have no power. You'll end up following her like a puppy because you don't know where to go or what to do.

    BUT if you start playing a power game with her, she'll see you as weak because a confident man doesn't FIGHT to have the power. He simply has it. Without question.

    For future reference you should build comfort before you separate. She will be less likely to play power games with you if she sees you as a genuine man and she knows she's special to you. It sounds like you are still in the attraction phase according to Mystery Method.

    What do you do now? Tell her, "Yea that's awesome. I'll be there." Then flake. The next day you tell her you're sorry and something came up. At least...that's how I'd do it lol.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Kiss closed, now texting - maintaining dominance?

    It's a Sh1t Test. You go = you lose.

    It's almost the same as you asking a girl for her number and she says "kiss my feet and I will give it to you."

    She is most likely interested in you, but now want to see if you are a take charge kind of guy.

    The way I usually counter that sh1t game is:

    Her: "I don't know about that! That's a pretty far drive for a night out and I'm a busy lady! Plus I think its your turn to come onto my home turf... its only fair"
    You: "Pffft. I drive out there, next thing I know you're gonna try get into my pants. I'm not that easy!"

    This will most likely provoke you into a text tease back and forth. So you better bring your Texting A-game. But if you win, you will win her over. Build attraction with her. Once she is attracted, then she will invest in you.

  4. #4
    brian.7704 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Kiss closed, now texting - maintaining dominance?

    Good insights guys.

    BatMan, my thoughts exactly about losing power if I go there - not interested in following her around. Also, thanks for pointing out the comfort thing. Now that I think about it you're spot-on, we built a lot of physical chemistry but not much in the way of comfort/emotional chemistry at the club. I'll keep an eye out for that in the future.

    Can you elaborate a bit on the Flake strategy? My initial reaction is that it would be pretty transparent and I'm not sure how one would go from bailing on her to having her make the investment instead. I can see where this might signal that I have more important things in my life but other than that I'm not sure I understand the objective.

    I.M.Mortal, Sh1t Test was my reaction as well. Oddly enough I responded almost exactly the way you suggested just before reading your post. Good to see some confirmation that it was a good move though.

    As for Texting A-Game... I think I might have some research to do.

  5. #5
    brian.7704 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Kiss closed, now texting

    For your critiquing pleasure...

    I've got some updates for you guys! This was today's text outcomes... I tried my best to be flirty and to respond to her Sh1t Test properly. Lets see what you guys think. Old conversation is in italics.

    Me: "We (my buddy and I) were talking about doing it again sometime soon, maybe next weekend or the one after. You guys should come, maybe a night where you aren't trying to leave the whole time eh? :P"

    Her: "I don't know about that! That's a pretty far drive for a night out and I'm a busy lady! Plus I think its your turn to come onto my home turf... its only fair"

    Sh1t test alert!

    Me: I think you're trying to catch me alone in an unfamiliar place so you can take advantage! For shame, Laura!

    Me: Ps sorry for the long reply time, last night turned into a bit of a scramble at the hospital

    Her: Why were you at the hospital?!

    Me: I had open heart surgery, it was awful. I needed a good perfusionist, told them to call you... but you never came...

    Me: I'm sorry, I don't think our relationship can survive that sort of betrayal

    Her: Well you earned one point for remembering what I want to do... But then lost 2 points for lying and avoiding the questions!
    Sh1t test #2...

    Me: Alas, she's pretty... but no sense of humor! Minus two points! As it so happens, Ms. Sassy Pants, I volunteer at the psych hospital and it was indeed a crazy night... :P

    Her: Lol that seems like a risky position to have working with all the crazies... but 3 points for being a good person
    Hmmm... better response, but not sure what to make of it. No follow up on the hooks I left her. Hmm.
    So, I realize a couple of things:
    1) My double text after her sh1t test allowed her to ignore my innuendo response to it
    2) I made an apology, although I felt it was merited considering it was almost 24 hours since she'd texted me. Tried to soften it with a lead-in to a dhv (i.e. my volunteer work)
    3) Again a double text after her "Why were you at the hospital?!" BUT I did work in a legit reference to her aspirations. Honestly I expected a much more positive response to that one.

    I'm not sure about my response to her second sh1t test. I aimed for a bit of a disqualifier, but then possibly followed it up with a qualifier of my own when I explained myself. Or maybe not? I dunno.

    Honestly not sure what to make of her final text there, if anything. Recommended responses?

    This seems like a good opportunity to work on my text game and on dealing with Sh1t tests, since this chick is throwing them out like they're going out of style. Not convinced she's worth the effort of actually trying to close though, unless she grows a sense of humor real quick. No patience for serious girls.

    So, gentlemen - critique away!

    Also, Mods - could we move this thread to the Texting forum? Seems more appropriate there.

  6. #6
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kiss closed, now texting - maintaining dominance?

    Well played. I wouldn't change anything. She scored you, you scored her. Great! That's what I would've done.

    It was a good place to end the convo.

    Progress.

    I say hit her up in a day or two and ask her out.

  7. #7
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kiss closed, now texting - maintaining dominance?

    Well you could always let her know you can't make it if you don't want to be that rude. Just do it a few hours before you're suppose to meet.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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