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  • 1 Post By costarica
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Thread: what pretexts can I use to visit a girl's house or invite her to a hotel

  1. #1
    jackmystery is offline Aspiring PUA Forums
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    Default what pretexts can I use to visit a girl's house or invite her to a hotel

    Suppose I date a girl, she is somewhat attracted to me and there is a level of comfort, what pretexts can I use to visit a girl's house or invite her to a hotel? I know if I speak it out bluntly, "Let's go to your house(or a hotel) and have sex", she will reject immediately, but if I have a good pretext, she can accept my suggestion. Any ideas?

  2. #2
    JohnTan is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: what pretexts can I use to visit a girl's house or invite her to a hote

    I think it's very situation-dependent. I was out with a girl once who loved old school nintendo games. I told her I had a nintendo at my place, which was the perfect excuse to have her over. We never even turned it on. Films are also a good pretext, so find out what kind of movies she likes and suggest she comes over to watch a movie you have that's in that genre.

  3. #3
    costarica's Avatar
    costarica is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what pretexts can I use to visit a girl's house or invite her to a hote

    Two things that I always do:

    1. Ask her if there is a place to grab food on the way to her hotel.
    2. Ask her if she has a drink at her hotel (if you are drinking).

    Don't invite because she can get self-conscious about it. Just assume you are going and be persistent about coming over for a bite of food, a drink, and then needing to leave or get up early and just don't make a fuss about it. This allows her to justify thinking that something might not happen (even though you both know that it probably will).

    Rooshv's book called BANG is an excellent resource for this situation. It's been a while since I read that book, bit I remember this as one of my major sticking points and for whatever reason, his book resonated with me in this area.

    Most of the time, girls don't want to admit that they are about to have sex. Inviting them just reminds them of that. If you have SERIOUSLY escalated the girl, and I mean that she is all over you and knows she wants to hit the hotel, then by all means keep talking about it and keep her in the mood all the way there, but this is a serious exception (at least in my world anyway! )
    - CR

  4. #4
    jackmystery is offline Aspiring PUA Forums
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    Default Re: what pretexts can I use to visit a girl's house or invite her to a hote

    Quote Originally Posted by costarica View Post
    Two things that I always do:

    1. Ask her if there is a place to grab food on the way to her hotel.
    2. Ask her if she has a drink at her hotel (if you are drinking).

    Don't invite because she can get self-conscious about it. Just assume you are going and be persistent about coming over for a bite of food, a drink, and then needing to leave or get up early and just don't make a fuss about it. This allows her to justify thinking that something might not happen (even though you both know that it probably will).

    Rooshv's book called BANG is an excellent resource for this situation. It's been a while since I read that book, bit I remember this as one of my major sticking points and for whatever reason, his book resonated with me in this area.

    Most of the time, girls don't want to admit that they are about to have sex. Inviting them just reminds them of that. If you have SERIOUSLY escalated the girl, and I mean that she is all over you and knows she wants to hit the hotel, then by all means keep talking about it and keep her in the mood all the way there, but this is a serious exception (at least in my world anyway! )
    I don't mean that the girl stays in a hotel. I mean when I go out to have dinner with a girl, and later I want to lead her to a hotel so sex can actually happen.

  5. #5
    D.M. Evans is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: what pretexts can I use to visit a girl's house or invite her to a hote

    Jack,

    It might just be me but I would think that bringing a girl to a hotel, you don't already know on an intimate level might deter her from wanting to see you again.

    No girl wants to feel like a One Night Stand girl only worth bringing to a hotel, whether she hints it or not.

    Girls think things through and will often view things in the light/way they will be viewed afterwords.

    A hotel is way too forward and you don't the girl the feel uncomfortable, or think of herself as loose and easy.

    You should be hanging out with her in person already, grab a quick drink, tell her how sexy she is and how dirty and spontaneous she makes you feel, you've never felt like this with another girl, there is just something about her you want to figure out.

    Looking in her eyes and telling her these things genuinely will do a lot more for you than a text ever could.

    Try kissing her passionately for a bit, using your hands a lot, all over. After a while just tell her you want to go somewhere and continue this. Go to either her or your house, that is where she'll be very comfortable.

    Then take it from there.

    --
    D.M.

  6. #6
    EMSaenz's Avatar
    EMSaenz is offline PUA With Mad Respect
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    Default Re: what pretexts can I use to visit a girl's house or invite her to a hote

    PRETEXT!? Dude, isn't that a little sneaky? Work on developing her IOIs so that she clearly let's you know she is ready for intimacy. Otherwise, the exchange will be perfunctory in nature IF she falls for your scheme.

    It seems like you just want a notch on your bedpost. If you want a good excuse to just show up at her doorstep and have her ask you in, show up w/some flowers or any gift and tell her you were thinking of her and got her a "Just Because" gift. Wait for her to invite you in. You want her to initiate the intimacy when she's ready. She may initiate the intimacy by giving you clues. It's okay if you try to kiss her, flirt and make subtle sexual overtones to get her thinking of intimacy.
    Carpe diem!

  7. #7
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what pretexts can I use to visit a girl's house or invite her to a hote

    Quote Originally Posted by jackmystery View Post
    Suppose I date a girl, she is somewhat attracted to me and there is a level of comfort, what pretexts can I use to visit a girl's house or invite her to a hotel? I know if I speak it out bluntly, "Let's go to your house(or a hotel) and have sex", she will reject immediately, but if I have a good pretext, she can accept my suggestion. Any ideas?
    Should we suppose you date a girl,or you really do ?I mean to me it sounds even if we told you some magical pretext(which doesn't exist) that would get a girl to a hotel,you wouldn't know what to do....

    What you're asking is basic stuff,it's all in mystery method,to go anywhere,you should first go through Attraction and build enough Comfort,once you start kissing and get more physical only then you should think about taking her somewhere.

    A simple "Let's go to my house i wanna show you this cool *enter whatever you want*(examples : movie,instrument[implying that you will play it for her],pet,collection) I've got"should do it.

    If you wanna go to her place,just say it(make something up like you wanna see her room because it will tell you more about her),if you wanna go to a hotel,just say it.BUT,you must have Comfort to say these things.

  8. #8
    SmoothFLow's Avatar
    SmoothFLow is offline PUA in Training
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Ra1d View Post
    A simple "Let's go to my house i wanna show you this cool *enter whatever you want*(examples : movie,instrument[implying that you will play it for her],pet,collection) I've got"should do it.

    If you wanna go to her place,just say it(make something up like you wanna see her room because it will tell you more about her),if you wanna go to a hotel,just say it.BUT,you must have Comfort to say these things.
    Ra1d is on point; you definitely have to build comfort before trying to lead the girl somewhere. Imagine a homeless guy trying to get you to push his cart a few blocks down the road; I don't know about you but I wouldn't feel comfortable about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by D.M. Evans View Post
    Jack,

    It might just be me but I would think that bringing a girl to a hotel, you don't already know on an intimate level might deter her from wanting to see you again.

    No girl wants to feel like a One Night Stand girl only worth bringing to a hotel, whether she hints it or not.

    Girls think things through and will often view things in the light/way they will be viewed afterwords.

    A hotel is way too forward and you don't the girl the feel uncomfortable, or think of herself as loose and easy.

    You should be hanging out with her in person already, grab a quick drink, tell her how sexy she is and how dirty and spontaneous she makes you feel, you've never felt like this with another girl, there is just something about her you want to figure out.

    Looking in her eyes and telling her these things genuinely will do a lot more for you than a text ever could.

    Try kissing her passionately for a bit, using your hands a lot, all over. After a while just tell her you want to go somewhere and continue this. Go to either her or your house, that is where she'll be very comfortable.

    Then take it from there.

    --
    D.M.
    Again, build comfort. Females like being led, not manipulated.

    Quote Originally Posted by costarica View Post
    Two things that I always do:

    1. Ask her if there is a place to grab food on the way to her hotel.
    2. Ask her if she has a drink at her hotel (if you are drinking).

    Don't invite because she can get self-conscious about it. Just assume you are going and be persistent about coming over for a bite of food, a drink, and then needing to leave or get up early and just don't make a fuss about it. This allows her to justify thinking that something might not happen (even though you both know that it probably will).

    Rooshv's book called BANG is an excellent resource for this situation. It's been a while since I read that book, bit I remember this as one of my major sticking points and for whatever reason, his book resonated with me in this area.

    Most of the time, girls don't want to admit that they are about to have sex. Inviting them just reminds them of that. If you have SERIOUSLY escalated the girl, and I mean that she is all over you and knows she wants to hit the hotel, then by all means keep talking about it and keep her in the mood all the way there, but this is a serious exception (at least in my world anyway! )
    I just like the idea you mentioned about "assuming" that you're going over to her place, or that she's coming over to yours. It's like setting a SMART goal and pursuing it persistently; it becomes INEVITABLE that you will get it.
    Success or fail; everything you try can be chalked up as a learning experience~


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