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  1. #1
    Trueswag is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help with old flame that has a bf

    So basically I dated this girl about 6 years ago, but it didn't work out (long story)
    Anyways she randomly sent me a message on facebook a few days ago and we started talking a little, and I went for the number after about 30min and got it.
    I hit her up on Friday to hangout on Saturday (yesterday) but she said she had plans.

    Well her plans got cancelled and she text me yesterday evening and asked if I wanted to do something. So I took initiative and told her to meet me at a yogurt place and gave her the time.

    Last night we were there talking and catching up from like 7:45pm until 10pm. She said she was surprised I wanted to hangout because she has a bf. I played that of well and thanks to these forums I read everyday my confidence was legendary and she noticed too. We caught up on each others lives and talked a little bit about the good times in the past.

    I used Kino by touching her on the leg or giving her a high five and holding her hand for a few sec. She would playfully hit me here and there and laughed. She even brought up intimate times in our past while saying she shouldn't have because she has a bf. I used the bf destroyer and talked good about him. The whole time we deff had a connection and I know she felt it... There would be a few brief moments where it was quiet and we would even just stare into each others eyes. She text me when she got home and said "it was nice catuching up, although it didn't feel much different " But now I'm stuck after last night...

    I don't know how to initiate hanging out without going into a friend zone since she has a bf, but I know she felt a lot of attraction last night too.

    Anyways my question is, how do I go about hanging out with her and then escalating it?

    Please and thanks for the help guys. She's basically the one that got away many years ago...

  2. #2
    Trueswag is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with old flame that has a bf

    With all the views, there must be some advice that can be given?

  3. #3
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    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with old flame that has a bf

    She likely messaged you in the first place because she's looking for an out with her current relationship. There's no reason for her to message you otherwise.

    Basically, at this point you've planted the seed, and now you have to sit back and watch it grow. She'll come back to you if everything went good. Just keep feeding into the frame you've created. If you're able to maintain the frame of alpha I have no doubt that she'll want you eventually.

    So my advice is to back off and see how much of the leg work she's willing to do. Since she has a boyfriend, it's going to come down to her decision, and you're better off not trying to force. Just keep watering the seed of your superiority.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  4. #4
    Trueswag is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with old flame that has a bf

    Once again you have given great advice to me TheDuke and I thank you.

    Yea she's only been with him since Jan but brought him up often the other night. I think she just did to remind herself she has a bf imo though.

    So you think I shouldn't even bother asking her to hangout and let her ask me?
    We text a little yesterday and today but that's about it. Nothing about hanging out.


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