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Thread: I'm sexually addicted to my boyfriend- help

  1. #1
    MiaS is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I'm sexually addicted to my boyfriend- help

    Hey

    I'm sorry for this unusual question, I'm hoping someone here can help me out.

    The guy I'm dating is heavy into the seduction community- prior to that he was not so good with women. He successfully seduced the hell out of me and I'm completely addicted to him. I'm in love with him. The problem is, he's not really a "good guy". He has screwed me over...he doesn't even treat me that well. Even so, I'm wrapped around his finger.

    My self-esteem is plummeting, this is screwing up my life in ways that I don't even want to go into. I feel like if it ends with him I will barely be able to pick up the pieces. I'm really in love with him. He loves me too, but like I said, he's not really a good person.

    They teach guys how to get a girl sexually addicted. Does anyone know how a girl can get herself UN-addicted?

    If I can offer advice to any of you in return- I will...but you have to promise not to use it in a malicious way like my guy did.

    Thanks so much in advance for any help
    Mia

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: I'm sexually addicted to my boyfriend- help

    I'm guessing the seduction community doesn't really have that much to do with this.

    You have self esteem issues clearly. Glad you recognize that.

    I believe you get addicted to him because the bad makes you desire the good so much more. His I-don't-care about anyone attitude has a by product of being unaffected and confident, and that's what you're attracted to.

    First recognize that your value is in your own hands. How people see you is based on how you choose to present yourself. If you want to be dependent on his attention and affection for your validation, you will be. If you choose not to let him affect you, he cant.

    There's no series of actions we can give you to get over him, because you haven't made the decision that you're worth more than that.
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    DirtyOnPurpose's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sexually addicted to my boyfriend- help

    A classic.

    Game is so much power that can be given to a man and it's up to him if he's going to abuse it or not.

    Your boy might be abusing it but admit it, average guys would bore the shit out of you that's why he's such a prize. I think that you will get UN-addicted when you match his level of [I'm going to call it] social skills.

  4. #4
    MiaS is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I'm sexually addicted to my boyfriend- help

    Social Skills....haha

    Thanks for your replies. I'm sure it is a combo of things. I'm aware of my own vulnerabilities. This guy sees me as a very high self-esteem, "has a lot going for her" kind of female, so he stopped at nothing to game me because he thinks I'm a catch. The truth is, pretty does not mean a person has high self-esteem or is strong. Obviously I try to come off like I have my crap together, but inside I'm not so strong. (unstable childhood)

    But enough about that....

    He's nice to me in many ways- but I already caught him cheating on me 3 times, and I was unable to break it off even though I knew I should. That's what's scaring me. To be blunt, I feel like no one will ever be as good as him sexually, (and I like his personality) and I just can't give that up at this point.
    I can't believe I just wrote that.

    Anyway, I was reading some of the pua stuff after he shared with me that he used a lot of it on me. Red Baron is totally right (thanks for the thoughtful response Red Baron ) it's probably because I'm vulnerable and have self-esteem issues. I'm just afraid this guy screwed me up emotionally. I'm probably the worst person to have been gamed. ugh

  5. #5
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    Default Re: I'm sexually addicted to my boyfriend- help

    You really remind me of my girl.

    I don't see why he would share any of the pua stuff with you anyway if he's not one of those boot camp organizers that will use you as an example. Anyone else find that weird?

  6. #6
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sexually addicted to my boyfriend- help

    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyOnPurpose View Post
    You really remind me of my girl.

    I don't see why he would share any of the pua stuff with you anyway if he's not one of those boot camp organizers that will use you as an example. Anyone else find that weird?

    PUA is about learning how to understand social dynamics and the opposite sex, not how to use them. I've told every real relationship I've ever been in about it and what you can learn from it. It taught me and other people so much, it's important to share, not hide it. If you hide it, you come across sneaky and ashamed, low value.
    It's just self improvement, and girls love that. My friend calls it chick-crack
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  7. #7
    MiaS is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I'm sexually addicted to my boyfriend- help

    Yep- I can confirm I did like that he did self improvement stuff. Although it creeped me out at first, in the end, it just made me more interested. I might be in the minority though- not sure.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: I'm sexually addicted to my boyfriend- help

    Quote Originally Posted by The Red Baron View Post
    PUA is about learning how to understand social dynamics and the opposite sex, not how to use them. I've told every real relationship I've ever been in about it and what you can learn from it. It taught me and other people so much, it's important to share, not hide it. If you hide it, you come across sneaky and ashamed, low value.
    It's just self improvement, and girls love that. My friend calls it chick-crack
    You got me wrong there buddy. I would discuss it with a girl that matters any day, under the "self improvement" title though and without going through every single detail.

    There's nothing sneaky about not wanting to explain to your girl about the method or the "broken down into a science" side of the way you picked her up and made her fall in love with you. This is very rarely good for you or for the relationship, it has nothing to do with honesty and courage it's just that girls like to have a good romantic story in their minds about how you met and how things moved forward.

    Not sure you're aware, but to keep a girl around you need to keep on gaming her, definitely not same as the beginning but you need to stay on top of things. Her knowing about all that would just make things boring and predictable unless you're a dick to her like the case of the lady that posted this thread. Think about it.

  9. #9
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sexually addicted to my boyfriend- help

    Thanks for the tidbit Dirty I'll ask my girlfriend if my gaming her has failed because of what I've told her.

    At some point what you've learned has to make a genuine change in you that makes you more attractive, more confident, more sociable, and a better mate.

    Otherwise, you're just doing it wrong.

    But good luck Sir
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  10. #10
    DirtyOnPurpose's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sexually addicted to my boyfriend- help

    Quote Originally Posted by The Red Baron View Post
    At some point what you've learned has to make a genuine change in you that makes you more attractive, more confident, more sociable, and a better mate.

    Otherwise, you're just doing it wrong.
    I strongly agree. Only each does it in his own way, it's definitely more than one path that you can take to achieve this.

    Good luck to you as well!


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