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Thread: Failed turn her to girlfriend

  1. #1
    Adam Taylor's Avatar
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    Default Failed turn her to girlfriend

    Have you guys ever had a problem turning a HB you picked up into your girlfriend?

    That's pretty much what happened me - actually, the bad closure just has happened. I picked her up at one of my firsts sarging (detailed it in some other topic) #-closed; 1st date: coffee & some drink with kissing-close; 2nd date: play some billiard and have some drink at my place, she stayed here for the night, but no sex, only some petting; 3rd date: f-close. Actually, in the week of the 3rd date, we met another 2 times - that's 3 dates in one week. As for me, it's pretty intense, I don't usually met that many time with some of my exes either. Perhaps that's why I though it's getting pretty serious - she was smart, funny and really sexy, everything went great. We had sex one more time, but that night, something went pretty wrong. We started talking about how serious it is, and she just flaked, or something like that - it was fucking surreal.

    By that point, I start leaving the PUA stuff and thinking - I really consider her as my future-girlfriend, and I thought there's no need to use strategies or anything like that. So we started talking about how serious it's going to be and stuffs - but she just got confused, said that se didn't know what she want, she didn't know if she want me as her boyfriend, it would developed or not later. After this night, we met a couple hour ago - she said that she didn't feel as good as she felt before, when she is with me, and that after that night, she is feeling inconvenient with me. Finally, we discussed that the prolem is, that she didn't wanna know if it would change in the future - so we said goodbye.

    I believe that I made some mistake. Maybe I opened myself too much, stated that I want her as my girlfriend - maybe I shouldn't have done that. She had ended her 3 year old relationship a couple month ago (just like I did), and she got pretty intense when she talked about it and her ex - although I didn't ask her about him at all. What's more she is still friend with him, seeing him frequently etc. So maybe that's an other reason, too.

    But actually, I'm a bit confused, and to be honest, sad. From one part, I F-closed a girl, who was pretty much the first one who I picked up using PUA stuffs. On the other hand, I really cared about her and I though that everything went well. Somehow I believe I'm not the only one who got too much attached to his first trophy - I consider it as a typicall Aspiring PUA-mistake, lol, I dont know why.
    But I hope it get better and I can impreove myself, and learn a lot from this case. And actually, thank YOU guys, I was constantly asking You, how to text her, what to do in the first date and stuffs, so, thanks again. I know I have to move on and keep sarging.

  2. #2
    theeights is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Failed turn her to girlfriend

    Good job on your first pick up! Congrats!

    Girls see a big difference between a boyfriend and a fuck buddy. It might be a good idea to really think about your intention before you even go out... Do you want to be a player who fucks everyone? Do you want a long term committed relationship?

    Thing is, if you are reading PU material then you have probably learned plenty about how to act like a player so you probably came across as someone who wants to have sex rather than someone who wants a relationship. Then after the sex you turned around and start talking about relationships. No offense, but that's not fair to her.

    My own rule of thumb is to decide what I want and make my actions congruent with that. If I want a FWB = Have sex as soon as possible. If I want a relationship = wait longer than I have to but not long enough that she looks elsewhere.

  3. #3
    Adam Taylor's Avatar
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    Default Re: Failed turn her to girlfriend

    Thanks, you definitely have a point.

    As for me, I don't decide what I want to do with a girl in advence. I #-close, if I like her, go on a date with her, if i like her k-close her, if I get to know her a bit and I still like her, go on a 2nd date etc. I f-close if I can (once in 3rd date, once in 2nd date), and if we get on very well, I carry on dates and stuffs. So id depends on the girl and the relationship I build with her.

    Actually, I'm kind of a sam situation now. I detailed it in the "Tricky firl - d-close" thread - she is incredible at bed, but i also like her presonality, she is fun, kind, cute etc. But I have trouble builduing a relationship. I wrote her on facebook last day when to meet again, but she replied "I still don't know", "We will see" and shits... of course, maybe she is really busy, but after what has already happened to me, i'm afraid it's the same situation again...

  4. #4
    maxtazm is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Failed turn her to girlfriend

    ya you should have sex with her and then decide your relationship. if she didn't want it, then she has other options

  5. #5
    OG_PlMP is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Failed turn her to girlfriend

    I agree with the others, probably acted too much like a fuck buddy rather than a boyfriend - which is really what PUA teaches you: how to sleep with a girl in as little time as possible after initial meet.

    I personally never have that relationship talk unless the girl brings it up. If I want to make a FWB into my girlfriend, I just do more boyfriend/girlfriend things with her, like introducing her to my friends, going out on dates, etc. She'll get the point.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Failed turn her to girlfriend

    OG pimp has the best advice here to a point. I disagree with the others however. I have had many relationships and many disappointments. The relationships happened when I only wanted to be FWB! The girls ended up being really effing cool and brought up the relationship stuff allot and I finally agreed (they even cried a few times the first couple times I said no). The girls I wanted a relationship with would start out exactly the same way but I would bring up or push for the relationship. These girls were interested in a relationship with me but I pushed the idea and it blew up in my face. Trust me on this one. Treat them all the same and when THEY bring up relationship stuff then you can start a relationship. If she brought up that it was "getting serious" you should have said "I thought we were just having fun".

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Failed turn her to girlfriend

    I am going to disagree with the other posts. You picked her up using PUA material. Everything was awesome UNTIL you became needy. Right there she withdrew.

    You started talking about a relationship with her far too soon instead of just enjoying the great situation you had with her. Why not just keep progressing with what you have until it basically evolves into a relationship? Is there a need to put a label on it right away?

    Conveying oneitis to a girl too early in the game will freak out any girl.

  8. #8
    dave_xxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Failed turn her to girlfriend

    I started writing my post before DirectisBest posted his response. We both disagree with the previous posts.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Failed turn her to girlfriend

    Yes, you can have a relationship but relationships develop from actions and connection not a verbal contract. Never have the talk it's irrelevant. Just puts pressure on everythig. It's should be minimum of a month before you even consider something like that. The second girl I slept with, I thought would've my world and if leave game for her, I was just naive and new to everything. Is say this is a blessing. Sleeping with more girls will increase your emotional intelligence and you won't get so emo do quickly. Also, you'll start seeing that most girls you thought were special are just normal girls, no more no less.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up


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