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  • 1 Post By T-Mal
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Thread: Told the age gap is too big

  1. #1
    invertednz is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Told the age gap is too big

    Hey all,

    Met a HB9 out a week ago, planned for her to come over one night. She does we hook up and fool around but no sex she turns out to be 18 and I'm 27. It was weird because out on our balcony it was her that pushed for me to kiss her, faster than I was expecting. Then after getting off the bed the first time it was her idea to go back...

    Anyway we had planned to do a movie at mine 3 nights later. The following text thread happens:

    Me:Feeling better or do I need to get a doctors coat (she was feeling a bit sick the day before)
    Her: Hah so umm not gona lie I never do that stuff on the first hang out kinda freams me out
    Me: To be honest me neither :/ I do want to see you again though (:
    Her Don't you? Seemed pretty confident!! Well we can if you can handle not doing stuff....
    Me Sure as long as stuff doesn't include me beating you at table tennis! Lets chill at mine thurs and watch that movie (:
    Her Hahaha well that's pretty unlikely so Il take my chances! Yup sure I'm working 12-10 so after?
    Me: Sounds good, hopefully they don't work you too hard (:
    Her: Fingers crossed
    Next day
    Me: Thoughts on movie tomorrow?
    Her: Don;t think I should sorry I just freak out that your quite abit older.
    Me: Haha ok, if I'm honest I thought you were over 20 (I usually go for girls 22-25 as they seem to be less hassle) Let me know if you change your mind
    Her: Thanks for understanding cya round

    Any way at the time I didn't care that she cancelled I have a reasonable rotation going atm. But I went out to town that weekend and for the first time felt old looking/chatting to the 18-20 year olds. So now I would quite like to clean this up by hooking up with her again, I've gone back to day game rather than bars for the moment.

    Thoughts on what I should say? It's been like 5 days since that message but she was away on a mini holiday.

    I do realize the above is totally botched, but this is where I am at so help from here would be useful!

    Thanks for any help

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the age gap is too big

    It sounds like this one is gone.
    She's trying to be nice about it, but she's either not interested at all, or the age thing really did bother her... some girls are just like that.

    It appears to be a case of "buyer's remorse" so to speak.
    In the original moment, she was into it, but after having time to think about it, she got overwhelmed.

    The best bet for now is go no contact & put her on the back burner.


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  3. #3
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Told the age gap is too big

    I've had this happen, some girls it bothers and others it doesn't. Some girls are more mature for their age and like an older guy because they can't really connect with dudes their age. I wouldn't sweat it too much, hell she may come back around.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  4. #4
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    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Told the age gap is too big

    I'm guessing you didn't close the first time. Or if you did close, the sex wasn't good enough. A good orgasm will make every girl love you, but if you go too far and don't close... buyer's remorse... Big Time!!
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  5. #5
    cdharders's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the age gap is too big

    The age is irrelevant. It will just fuck up your head. If you were her age, she'd come up with a different reason. Give it another week before considering reinitiating. Whatever objection she has, agree and keep going.

    Next time she says "I think we're moving too fast"
    Say, "I know, me too. How about Tuesday?" or whatever day you're trying to meet her. Don't qualify just press on.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  6. #6
    steelraven is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Told the age gap is too big

    First off, don't let *anything* a 20 year old says affect your inner confidence.

    She's obviously having buyer's remorse because her Buying Temperature was at its peak, but you didn't push through for the f-close like she wanted (at the time). She's bringing up the age gap as both a shit test, a blockade, and as chick logic for not hooking up with you now. That's easy enough to capitalize upon if you feel you need to shake off the frame she's set around you.

    Clues:
    1) She said she *never* goes that far on a first date - a clear sign that your game was tight.
    2) She said she 'freak[s] out' that you're older - a clear sign that she has been thinking about hooking up with you again... possibly as relationship material since she's trying to figure out how to frame you to her friends.
    3) She cancels on an Isolation date - a movie - where she would be walking right back into a seduction situation.

    How to handle:
    1) hatebang some other chick for purely therapeutic reasons
    2) grab a couple of female wingmen (age around 22-25) and hang at a place she is likely to be - but not a place where she knows you know she will be
    3) laugh, have fun (not too much she should be trying to figure out if the wings are your friends or if they are competing for you), ignore her
    4) on the way out, 'see' her by accident, genuine smile, casual wave, keep walking
    5) text her casually a day or so later 'It was cool seeing you at TrendyBar'
    6) wings are 'just some cool chicks you know' be vague and aloof

    You've got to use her frame against her in this case. She sees you out potentially being competed for by two older chicks that are in your preferred age bracket, and if you're slick you can work in the idea that you can take those chicks places you can't take her because she's still a baby.

    You can also work this casually (and sprinkled lightly) into conversation by referring to her as a 'girl' and your wings as 'women'. Why are they women and she is not? Because she's afraid of her own sexuality. Women embrace it.

    Good luck.

  7. #7
    invertednz is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Told the age gap is too big

    Quote Originally Posted by steelraven View Post
    Clues:
    1) She said she *never* goes that far on a first date - a clear sign that your game was tight.
    2) She said she 'freak[s] out' that you're older - a clear sign that she has been thinking about hooking up with you again... possibly as relationship material since she's trying to figure out how to frame you to her friends.
    3) She cancels on an Isolation date - a movie - where she would be walking right back into a seduction situation.

    How to handle:
    1) hatebang some other chick for purely therapeutic reasons
    2) grab a couple of female wingmen (age around 22-25) and hang at a place she is likely to be - but not a place where she knows you know she will be
    3) laugh, have fun (not too much she should be trying to figure out if the wings are your friends or if they are competing for you), ignore her
    4) on the way out, 'see' her by accident, genuine smile, casual wave, keep walking
    5) text her casually a day or so later 'It was cool seeing you at TrendyBar'
    6) wings are 'just some cool chicks you know' be vague and aloof
    This is pretty much exactly what I thought and have been doing. I didn't end up bumping into her but one of her friends and got a text from her today.

    The movie was planned to be on my tv in my room which might have been pushing it a bit.

    Anyway thanks again to all the replies, this is by far the best PUA forum.

  8. #8
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Told the age gap is too big

    I love steelraven's advice right here. Follow it.
    I'd like to add that, if you really wanna bag her again, set up a group hangout. Something that in no way can be perceived as you guys hooking up.
    Examples:
    Invite her to a party with friends. Make sure you tell her that you want her to bring her friends with her.
    Invite her & her friends to the bar.
    (Most of the time the friends bail anyways, it's just the fact that it seems safe & as "just friends" makes it more likely for her to bite. Especially if she's seen you with other girls.)
    You catch my drift.
    Then when she comes out or joins you, Isolate her from her friends (you're going to need to be sly & think on the fly) then hookup again.
    Good post.


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