I think you're right about turning off the needy behaviour. I'm going to assume I'm not hooking up with her again and focus on other prospects for now so I'm not outcome-focused when I'm around her.
Weirdly enough I know the other men in her life (we were friends before) and only the guy who she had sex with the night after is a real contender, and he first night f-closed so its a new thing between them. We both go to a very small school where everyone knows everyone's business. But I guess none of that really matters! (no sarcasm)
thanks for your advice I think you're right about a lot of it and I will definitely take your advice