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Thread: LMR- I've created a situation so she doesn't feel urgency to decide to have

  1. #1
    rooker is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default LMR- I've created a situation so she doesn't feel urgency to decide to have

    I've created a situation where a girl feels no urgency to make a decision to have sex. I want to create that urgency.

    Been having oral sex 5 weeks. For last 4 weeks she says she's not ready to have intercourse. I always say ok I put no pressure on her.

    Problem is that by showing there is no pressure this teaches her I will stick around and that she has no urgency to make a decision. I want to change that. I want her to fear I "might" leave - and therefore force her to make up her mind now - in an indirect way without actually threatening to leave.

    I have not tried freezout yet but will do so each next time.

    The only things I. can think of are to either see other people (fear, jealousy) or tell her this situation isn't working for me without sex (is make a threat)

    We are exclusive- I could not get her clothes off without agreeing to be exclusive. I see now that agreeing to be exclusive takes away my leverage and give her more power.

    So... While being exclusive with her and without threatening to leave how can I create urgency to make up her mind.

  2. #2
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    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: LMR- I've created a situation so she doesn't feel urgency to decide to

    I've never had this problem before. If you guys are having oral sex you should easily be able to f-close. Is she a virgin? That could be a possibility and that's why she's being so hesitant.

    You need to be a HUGE tease and get her so worked up she can't say no. You should research on how to give good oral sex. I actually learned how from reading my moms cosmo magazine when I was in high school.

    When you go down on her don't go straight for the goods. Slowly kiss down her body then take off her panties. Start by lightly kissing her inner thighs and make designs with your tongue. Slowly move in towards the goods but don't start yet. Lick where her thigh meets her crotch then lightly kiss around her p***y. Go back to her inner thighs kissing/licking etc. This will build massive anticipation and she will get wildly turned on. Continue to do this until she can't take it anymore then go in. I don't do any crazy tongue b.s. I use the whole surface of my tongue and lick in a rhythmic fashion. When you start doing this place your two fingers at the opening to her p***y and lightly push the tips around like your going to insert them BUT DON"T. Do this for awhile. Basically you have them at the ready for insertion but you aren't inserting them. This will build more anticipation. Do this for awhile then ACTUALLY insert them and do a "come here" motion. This will stimulate her G-spot while you are rhythmically licking her clit. Continue to do this until she orgasms.

    If you give her really good oral sex she should be ready to jump your bones! Don't only tease her in this way though. Tease her before you get this far! Like when you start making out with her go in for the kiss then turn at the last second, brushing your cheek against hers. Pull away and stare into her eyes. She will then come after you and you slowly lean back until you cant anymore. This can go back and forth but it drives women wild.

    I wouldn't give her an ultimatum. You just need to get her turned on even more.

  3. #3
    rooker is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LMR- I've created a situation so she doesn't feel urgency to decide to

    Thanks for the tips. I do try to do basically that and lots of foreplay.

    She is Asian and conservative. She's had sex with two men. One in a five year relationship and one in a seven year relation ship. Sex is special and having it means things are "serious".

    She's led me on five times over the last five weeks.

    Each time I give her an orgasm with oral then ask " do you want me to get a rubber" She answers she needs more time, doesn't know me well enough, not ready to take things to the next level. But that we will have sex on the "next date." When the next date comes, no sex. Five times. "Next date."

    I wonder if this is a shit test- that she wants to see what I will do.

    My response has always been to be nonreactive and treat it as no big deal, no pressure.

    I have given her no consequences of her bad behavior of leading me on. Don't know what I should do about that.

    After she gives her answer I have always given her lots of warmth cuddling attention etc. I need to stop that and start Freezing Her Out.

    So we are supposed to have sex on the "next date."

    Things I plan to do differently:
    1) since she already gave verbal consent, don't ask any questions that would call for her to get in her rational mind and make a logical decision. Instead, get her highly aroused then non verbally let her see me put on the condom and proceed to use it. She's a big girl if she wants to say no she can do so.
    2) give oral but don't let her climax. Then put on the condom.

    3) if she gives LMR, freezout

    But on the question of getting her to feel urgency and make a decision, any ideas?

  4. #4
    rooker is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LMR- I've created a situation so she doesn't feel urgency to decide to

    Also wondering if I should take a risk and send some signals before the next date. If she doesn't fear she could lose me because we are exclusive, then she has no urgency. She can take her time to decide. She said she won't have sex unless we are exclusive and now we are exclusive but there's no sex.

    Bearing in mind the key point that she has given her verbal consent to sex on the next date then....

    If I send signals before the next date that being exclusive but not having sex is not working for me and that I'm only interested in being exclusive with someone if they are meeting my needs as a man.

    Since she already said she would have sex then she can't say I'm putting pressure on her to have sex right?

  5. #5
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: LMR- I've created a situation so she doesn't feel urgency to decide to

    I see. Don't ask her, just do. Be a man about it. I never ask a girl, I just get the rubber out and put it on. That's what you should do. If she says no then she says no. Don't be indecisive about it either. Get her really worked up then pull it out.

    If she won't go for it and it's an issue for you be completely honest with her and walk away. If she doesn't change her mind then literally walk away and find someone else. If you're with a girl that doesn't meet your needs then there's no point to be with her. Hope it works out for you. Cheers!


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