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  1. #1
    gamer1138 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Exclamation Close to sex, but now says not ready to date. But dropping by soon to hang.

    have been seeing this girl almost every day for almost 2 weeks.
    She said she wanted me to come over and get frisky the other night but I couldn't make it.
    She is coming by later today but just now she texted me "I want to say though that I don't think I'm ready to date yet even casually if you're cool with just hanging out as friends"

    I'm thinking I'll just play it cool and be nice as a friend, and mention how it's ok cos I can focus on the other girl I've been seeing a bit lately (we specified it wouldn't be anything serious and she mentioned she herself was seeing others).

    what do u think, play it cool but freeze her out physically?

    Please answer within the hour if you can!

  2. #2
    gamer1138 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Close to sex, but now says not ready to date. But dropping by soon to h

    by the way our hang out time got moved til tomorrow.
    i guess ill just play it friendly and funny and act unmoved by her change to friendship and not make any moves on her.

    any better ideas?

  3. #3
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Close to sex, but now says not ready to date. But dropping by soon to h

    This is definitely not a strong point for me but I want to be able to start giving back to the forum so I guess if I help even the smallest bit it's a win

    have been seeing this girl almost every day for almost 2 weeks. Sounds like maybe you have been too available, she may need some time to miss you
    She said she wanted me to come over and get frisky the other night but I couldn't make it. Kind of contradicts what I just said lol

    She is coming by later today but just now she texted me "I want to say though that I don't think I'm ready to date yet even casually if you're cool with just hanging out as friends" I'm not buying it! This is a lame excuse and I call BS!!
    It's going to be hard without knowing why she has brought this up? Did something happen last time you two hung out or spoke? Did you mention anything about a relationship?
    It could even be an anti-slut defence or maybe you have been friendzoned.

    I'm thinking I'll just play it cool and be nice as a friend, Depends what you want out of it.. girls can be cool to have as friends but don't think this is a smart option if you still want more from her.
    and mention how it's ok I wouldn't mention a thing.
    cos I can focus on the other girl I've been seeing a bit lately I would chase the other girl regardless. You should always be gaming more than one girl!!

    what do u think, play it cool but freeze her out physically? This looks like a one way ticket to the friendzone!!


    At the end of the day you need to decide what you want from her?

  4. #4
    gamer1138 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Close to sex, but now says not ready to date. But dropping by soon to h

    But if I make a move on her and she denies it because she just told me she doesn't want to date, doesn't that just play into her ego?

    I don't see what to do

  5. #5
    gamer1138 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Close to sex, but now says not ready to date. But dropping by soon to h

    also I should mention she canceled on us hanging out the other day, and I said I was busy the next day. I didn't message until the day after that, which is the day she told me she didn't want to date. Right before she told me that, I asked if she wanted to come by that afternoon and she said she could only stop by for a bit.
    She ended up saying she couldn't come by because she was late and didn't have time anymore, but said she could cancel her plans with her friend (why would she cancel on her friend if she didn't care about seeing me?). she eventually asked if we could just do it tomorrow and she would have more time to hang out and I said fine.
    Since it's such an awkward situation, and nobody really has advice on what I should do, should I just end up being "busy" tomorrow and cancel? That makes me appear less available, possibly makes her regretful and allows me to gauge how much effort she puts into trying to reschedule us seeing eachother.
    . that would just be my best guess from what I have read about PUA tactics. but I am new at this stuff and need advice.

    Ps: thanks for the reply kvn07!

  6. #6
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Close to sex, but now says not ready to date. But dropping by soon to h

    Quote Originally Posted by gamer1138 View Post
    But if I make a move on her, doesn't that just play into her ego?
    I would think that it would, yes. But so would spending time with her as a friend because that's what she wants.

    You haven't told us what YOU WANT from her..

    If you make a move and blow it are you prepared to lose her as a friend?

    Can you handle being just friends with her and then be ok when you see her with other guys?

  7. #7
    gamer1138 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Close to sex, but now says not ready to date. But dropping by soon to h

    not sure I would want to be just friends as it's kind of awkward after everything.
    I guess it wouldn't be that big of a deal if I stopped seeing her completely. But I don't want the last thing I do to be making a move that she denies if it's not smart to try that in the first place.
    If a PUA said to try and make a move, I guess I would risk it if that's the best advice. but I don't want to if it's pointless to try

  8. #8
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Close to sex, but now says not ready to date. But dropping by soon to h

    Lol I am far from a PUA my friend!! But I appreciate the sentiment

    Now, I am going to drop the subject about this particular girl for a minute. You're obviously new to game and the PUA side of things. Don't worry, that's how we all started. I still remember being in a similar position.. what if I make a move and get rejected, what if she tells all her friends, what's the magic line that will make her panties drop, all that stuff. Again, that's how most of us got started here. But there are no quick fixes or magic lines.

    My advice for you is to go and work on your inner game. Get some rock solid self confidence!! It's what I did and you know what? I avoid the friendzone altogether now, I would make a move on this girl and couldn't give a flying fark if she rejected me, I don't care if 100 people see me get rejected or hear that I did something embarrassing. It rolls right off my back.
    Think of it like building a house (and I got this from this forum) what's the first thing you need before you can build a house? A solid foundation! think of your inner-game as that foundation. All the lines in the world aren't going to help you if a girl can see straight through them. When you have a solid core the rest will fall into place.. with practice of course, but you get the idea.

    This is a journey I have been through, so if you want more detailed advice just ask.

    Now, back to the current situation:

    It seems to me you have been friend zoned. Why? I'm not really sure. I don't let the girl decide that. I'm leading the relationship and I'll decide what it's going to be!!

    As for a game plan; I WOULD NOT go a complete Freeze Out but I would definitely limit contact. If you guys are friends on fb I would go and just blow that shit up, post photo's of you with plenty of girls and out doing awesome, fun stuff (have a quick read of Cody's how to get your ex back thread for the idea behind it).

    As for cancelling your plans with her.. I would on the basis that if you've already done enough to be friend zoned, at this point I think you are only going to fall deeper in there.

    I hope that helps. And feel free to ask anymore questions

  9. #9
    gamer1138 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Close to sex, but now says not ready to date. But dropping by soon to h

    i will take all that into account,
    and thanks for your reply again!


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