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  1. #1
    cutiepie0807 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Let her come to me at this point?

    I am currently going on dates with just one girl at the moment. I've gone on a lot of first dates with in the last month or so, but this one girl is the only one I've gone past first date with. I understand the importance of dating multiple girls at the same time, but me talking to only one girl at the moment is not entirely by choice. This is probably where the problem begins, but please allow me to talk about it.

    Since our first date, we've been maintaining a line of communication through texts almost daily even though a lot of ppl have told me how important it is to follow the 2- or 3-day rule to "make myself not readily available" and "increase her interest level" and stuff. She and I have been sending playful and flirtatious texts to each other quite a bit. There were days she initiated, but I am usually the one who initiates. Anyway, we went on our second date recently. I had a good time, she said she had a great time. She asked me at one point, "How did you come up with this date idea?" Physically, hand holding and kissing are the furthest extent to which we have gone. Thought things were heading in the right direction, but I kinda feel that her reactions to my texts are a bit different now. I probably shouldn't think too much, but I feel like her responses are now slightly less playful. She still reciprocates, but I feel like I am doing more of the pursuing that she does. I am left to wonder if her interest level has dropped for whatever reason. Got me thinking that I perhaps shoulda texted two or three days after date #2 to get her wondering whether I really want to see her or not. But then, I am also thinking that she might have seen that as me playing games. I am so confused.

    Anyway, I called her yesterday evening with a date plan in my mind. I wanted to try a different approach. I wanted to call because I thought I would be able to set the date up quicker and more efficiently. She didn't pick up but sent me a text a few mins later: "Hey, I am out watching the game with friends." I responded, "OK." I called again several hours later because I wanted to accomplish the goal. "Still out" was her response. I haven't done anything since then, but she has not reached out to me yet. No text, no call since her last message.

    Should I just do nothing and let her come to me? I think the answer is yes because I have already called her twice. I do wanna see her again and get to know her better, but I obviously don't wanna seem desperate and too eager. Gosh, I wish dating were simpler...

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Let her come to me at this point?

    In this day and age asking for a date via text is normal and beneficial in the sense you don't have to worry about catching her when she is free via a phone call. It's ultimately not how you ask for a meet up, how often you chat or who instigates but ensuring it progress further and you maintain attraction. I personally text girls whenever I want and don't give two hoots whether they are texting me or not. I don't even think about it or have any hesitancy, I just go after what I want and it's their loss if they miss the opportunity.

    I wouldn't worry too much about the conversation dying off either. Some anticipation has been dispersed because you have already kissed and it can be hard to keep the creativity up (she might not have lost interest, simply lost creativity or new thoughts). You either have to lead that then and start sparking new interesting and fun conversations or take the relationship to the next level - either sexually or in forming a closer emotional bond.

    There may be a possibility she has other guys chasing her but you don't know that yet and can't do much about it other than what I described above. It could also be her period.

    Leave it a day or two, see what she does, move on with your life and keep having fun...maybe even with some other dates and re-engage via text with another date potential for this weekend if she doesn't respond. Make sure it's a fun date or perhaps something different like going out in a group with her friends and yours. That can really help establish a good bond because if she feels comfortable around you, her friends and your friends she will more likely contemplate a LTR. If she flakes, Freeze Out for a while or rebuild attraction. If she says anything about going out with friends rather than you its not a good sign. Only work, family or health commitments are legitimate excuses otherwise if she was interested she would invite you along. Otherwise keep Kino up and sexually escalate in real life.

    There may be some other wildcards to getting her attraction back on track using empathy. You could spam her with texts about how busy you are or complex dynamics that are happening in your life 'Man! This week is insane!!! I can't believe how much project work I need to do! And my stupid boss wants me to attend a seminar with him on thursday, arghhhh! I'll be on top of it of course but I'm kinda spinning'. She might start play the empathetic 'partner' role and may not be able to help her mothering, caring side come out 'Is there anything I can do for you?'. You bypass whatever is happening in her life and get her 100% focussed on you. You could also use animals 'Oh no, my dog's paw has a thorn in it!! It's bleeding! I need to take her to the vet!! Hope she will be ok'. If she cares she will have to reply. Obviously you can't lie about this, you have to elaborate on what's actually happening in your life. It could also be a sh!t test back on her to see how much she really cares. You don't want to come across as weak, just dealing with extraordinary circumstances.

  3. #3
    Naughty Napoleon's Avatar
    Naughty Napoleon is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Let her come to me at this point?

    My game style is like 80% Natural, 20% PUA.

    I had never done anything about "make myself not readily available" and "increase her interest level" that kind of stuff.

    And I laid more than 50 high-quality girls per year.

    You don't need that sutff, trust me. IF you like her. show her (though not directly telling her, it will spoil all the fun).

    About your 2nd date, just ask her out for a simple date, like coffe, ir a drink near your place.

    Tell her you are having fun with her at last time and want to meet up with her. GIve her two or three time where you are avaiable, and let her choose.

    THen lead her to your place at 2nd date and give her a good night.

    Hope this help,
    Naughty NApoleon

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