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  1. #1
    Amadeus1 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need Insight into this Girl I've Met on Tindr

    So I met this girl on Tindr the other week and we’ve been gradually talking after we found out with had some commonalities. In addition to the fact that I was able to sustain the conversation. When we start talking about what brought us to Tindr and what she is looking for, she says she is mainly interested in meeting people for a friend’s w/benefits situation.

    This made me kind of suspicious as at this point as I thought she might have been a fake or a guy pretending to a girl. Since she was pretty good looking (and came across both overtly and otherwise as looking for fun) but everything I verified on her checked out ex. She had a Facebook with pictures/profile that matched up. Anything else I could find out about her (sounds stalkerish I know but you can never be too careful imo) was the same case. Plus she called me one time when she was pretty drunk one weekend and talked dirty to me for over an hour lol. So I now know she’s def a real woman.

    We have even sexted as she has sent dirty pics to me and vice versa/ talked dirty via text. She also seems to like what she’s seen so far of me. However, she has been very hesitant to just to meet up for coffee/in person or even talk on the phone.

    I was wondering why that is. She said she is afraid of meeting actual people from the internet (which might be the case and given my trust by verify attitude the same with me too). Does she just need to get more conformable with me by texting me then moving forward with that? Is she just using this as a way to get her own rocks off in which she will eventually back out without ever meeting up? Or alternatively is just taking this one step at a time?

    I have been trying to figure things out as I feel like I am on the track to an F-close but I'v been disappointed numerous times before.

    Thank you in advance for you advice,

    Amadeus 1

  2. #2
    Amadeus1 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need Insight into this Girl I've Met on Tindr

    Quote Originally Posted by Amadeus1 View Post
    So I met this girl on Tindr the other week and we’ve been gradually talking after we found out with had some commonalities. In addition to the fact that I was able to sustain the conversation. When we start talking about what brought us to Tindr and what she is looking for, she says she is mainly interested in meeting people for a friend’s w/benefits situation.

    This made me kind of suspicious as at this point as I thought she might have been a fake or a guy pretending to a girl. Since she was pretty good looking (and came across both overtly and otherwise as looking for fun) but everything I verified on her checked out ex. She had a Facebook with pictures/profile that matched up. Anything else I could find out about her (sounds stalkerish I know but you can never be too careful imo) was the same case. Plus she called me one time when she was pretty drunk one weekend and talked dirty to me for over an hour lol. So I now know she’s def a real woman.

    We have even sexted as she has sent dirty pics to me and vice versa/ talked dirty via text. She also seems to like what she’s seen so far of me. However, she has been very hesitant to just to meet up for coffee/in person or even talk on the phone.

    I was wondering why that is. She said she is afraid of meeting actual people from the internet (which might be the case and given my trust by verify attitude the same with me too). Does she just need to get more conformable with me by texting me then moving forward with that? Is she just using this as a way to get her own rocks off in which she will eventually back out without ever meeting up? Or alternatively is just taking this one step at a time?

    I have been trying to figure things out as I feel like I am on the track to an F-close but I'v been disappointed numerous times before.

    Thank you in advance for you advice,

    Amadeus 1
    Could someone help me out please?

    As I feel like this is a time sensitive matter lol

  3. #3
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Insight into this Girl I've Met on Tindr

    Keep being dirty, but don't give her too much, take your time and it drag out. You need to build anticipation in her, get her mind working to the point she can't resist. Push-Pull is what you need here.

    Then when you get her peaked, go for a meet-up. Make it daylight, in a public place with LOTS of people. She needs comfort, and a LOT of it.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  4. #4
    Amadeus1 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need Insight into this Girl I've Met on Tindr

    Quote Originally Posted by Blistex View Post
    Keep being dirty, but don't give her too much, take your time and it drag out. You need to build anticipation in her, get her mind working to the point she can't resist. Push-Pull is what you need here.

    Then when you get her peaked, go for a meet-up. Make it daylight, in a public place with LOTS of people. She needs comfort, and a LOT of it.
    So keep working on it then but don't press too hard?

    I'm trying to take this in small steps for her. Ex. I'm trying to get her on the phone just to talk next.

    I just hope I'm not losing the initiative with this one as even though she seems busy she is replying less often to my texts.

  5. #5
    Amadeus1 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need Insight into this Girl I've Met on Tindr

    Any more advice or insight on this girl?

    Please I could really use it.

    Thank you again,
    Amadeus1,

  6. #6
    Carter21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need Insight into this Girl I've Met on Tindr

    I'll emphasize Blistex's point about asking her out during a high point in the conversation. But, the best way is to do it on a high point that *she* created. Wayne Elise talks extensively about the importance of justifying your interest in the girl, meaning, she will be more comfortable with you if she feels that she's done something to deserve your interest (besides being hot). This isn't mentioned in his book, but one method I use to acheive this is a set-up question, which is a question that forces her to qualify herself. For instance, after talking for a while, you could ask this girl: "btw, random question. Whats the nicest thing you've ever done for someone? tyt if necessary, i want to know".

    When she answers, make a really big deal about how awesome that is and how cool she is for doing it. THEN, you say, "alright, its settled. I'm definently taking you out now. Tell me what your schedule's like for this week".

    At this point, you have made her feel good about herself and linked your interest with her personality. Since you've emphasized that her being nice and caring contributes to her being asked out, she should be more trustworthy of you and more and comfortable in accepting.

    This is only an example. you could use that question word for word, or you can come up with your own, or find some other way to get her to say interesting things about herself that you can link to your interest in her. But I think that would go a long way in getting her comfortable with meeting you.

    You could also use this method to get her to call you, if you want to be safe and not go for asking out right away. "thats settles it, I definently want to talk to you in person. give me a call asap"

  7. #7
    Amadeus1 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need Insight into this Girl I've Met on Tindr

    Quote Originally Posted by Carter21 View Post
    I'll emphasize Blistex's point about asking her out during a high point in the conversation. But, the best way is to do it on a high point that *she* created. Wayne Elise talks extensively about the importance of justifying your interest in the girl, meaning, she will be more comfortable with you if she feels that she's done something to deserve your interest (besides being hot). This isn't mentioned in his book, but one method I use to acheive this is a set-up question, which is a question that forces her to qualify herself. For instance, after talking for a while, you could ask this girl: "btw, random question. Whats the nicest thing you've ever done for someone? tyt if necessary, i want to know".

    When she answers, make a really big deal about how awesome that is and how cool she is for doing it. THEN, you say, "alright, its settled. I'm definently taking you out now. Tell me what your schedule's like for this week".

    At this point, you have made her feel good about herself and linked your interest with her personality. Since you've emphasized that her being nice and caring contributes to her being asked out, she should be more trustworthy of you and more and comfortable in accepting.

    This is only an example. you could use that question word for word, or you can come up with your own, or find some other way to get her to say interesting things about herself that you can link to your interest in her. But I think that would go a long way in getting her comfortable with meeting you.

    You could also use this method to get her to call you, if you want to be safe and not go for asking out right away. "thats settles it, I definently want to talk to you in person. give me a call asap"
    Thank you and everyone else for their advice so far,

    I am having trouble even getting her on the phone to talk.

    Also I haven't heard from her in over a dalf and a half so I am starting to get worried that she's lost interest or has written me off.


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