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  • 1 Post By meteora
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Thread: Had a date -need some feedback please

  1. #1
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Had a date -need some feedback please

    Hey guys,

    So, there is this chick that I met 2 months ago. We had several things in common and we seem to hit it off pretty well.

    Then, one day, she sent me this awkward message:

    "Hi xxx, thanks for the very nice message and sorry to be answering only now. I was out all day (not studying!). Just in case I have to let you know that I recently started dating someone (sounds like a cliché but true!). However I really enjoy talking to you and hope that this will not be in the way. You are very easy to talk to. Anyway hope to meet for lunch in the week!! Have a nice day!"

    I didn't like the way she worded it and it also seemed as she was trying to double-date until she decided whom to keep. I immediately lost interest in her upon seeing that text and I was kinda busy with my exams anyway. I didn't comment about the bf part but I told her I was busy but that we could meet after I was done with my exams. Of course I never bothered calling her back.

    One month later, she appears again out of the blue asking me to meet for lunch and, if not possible, to meet for drinks. I don't have the message anymore to copy the content, but it seemed kinda needy. I showed it to several friends and they all agreed that she probably got dumped and that I was her B-plan. The thought of being someone's back-up plan is a bit humiliating but I accepted to meet. I had nothing to lose after all...

    So we meet a couple of days ago. I took her to a really fancy place, acted my usual self (cocky and funny) but didn't try to directly flirt with her as I wanted to observe her intentions first.

    I would like to ask for your feedback concerning 3 points. Did I game her right or could I have done things differently? This is important as I have no one to provide me concrete advice on bad/good things I do.


    1) Just after meeting her, I was telling her how energetic I felt because of the sunshine and that I was doing all sorts of activities. And then I told her how I felt my energy being sucked up on cloudy days. At this point, she said "oh yeah! I know exactly the feeling! I am exactly the same!". She kinda emphasized this point (even said it twice), so I suspect she tried to establish some sort of connection. She is half-Danish, half-Italian, so I said commented how her Italian side was predominant. I didn't insist more on the connection thing as it felt forced. Should I have used that to my advantage?

    2) She said she owed me a lunch (because I paid for the last one we had) and I made fun of her and called her a feminist. She then tried to justify herself and said she wasn't that bad a feminist, as if she was trying to get validation from me. I made a quick joke about it but didn't insist further. Should I have taken advantage of that moment of weakness (her trying to validate herself)?

    3) After the drinks, we each went our own way and I received a text from her just a few minutes later "oh, and thanks for the drinks! :-)".
    I waited a couple of hours before responding her and wrote the following
    "don't mention it... BUT I will be expecting some Danish Snaps or Italian Grappa when I see you again Take care and enjoy the holidays!"
    This was some sort of inside joke as we were talking about those specific drinks, so it did make sense that I mention them. Of course, I meant it as a joke and never expected her to bring me anything. To be honest, I don't care that much about that girl, so I decided to act randomly and write something playful.
    She replied
    "ok!! enjoy the holidays too!"
    I am not sure she got the joke. Would be funny if she really brought me something, lol
    Did I handle this well or was it crap?

    Anyway, she told me her bday was coming up and she asked me to book the date for her party. She definitely wants to see me again.
    I wonder if I should write something around the middle of August to show interest. or is that too needy?

    Sorry for the long post but any help/advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks a lot, bros

  2. #2
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Had a date -need some feedback please

    1) Just after meeting her, I was telling her how energetic I felt because of the sunshine and that I was doing all sorts of activities. And then I told her how I felt my energy being sucked up on cloudy days. At this point, she said "oh yeah! I know exactly the feeling! I am exactly the same!". She kinda emphasized this point (even said it twice), so I suspect she tried to establish some sort of connection. She is half-Danish, half-Italian, so I said commented how her Italian side was predominant. I didn't insist more on the connection thing as it felt forced. Should I have used that to my advantage?
    she was just making conversation. don't think too much about it.

    2) She said she owed me a lunch (because I paid for the last one we had) and I made fun of her and called her a feminist. She then tried to justify herself and said she wasn't that bad a feminist, as if she was trying to get validation from me. I made a quick joke about it but didn't insist further. Should I have taken advantage of that moment of weakness (her trying to validate herself)?
    the fact that she tried to qualify means that she holds you in high regards. at the very least its a big ioi.

    no that's not your opportunity to take advantage of. its more just a way of seeing how interested she is.

    get her to qualify at least once or twice every time you see her. this makes you the prize and it makes her the needy one.

    3) After the drinks, we each went our own way and I received a text from her just a few minutes later "oh, and thanks for the drinks! :-)".
    I waited a couple of hours before responding her and wrote the following
    "don't mention it... BUT I will be expecting some Danish Snaps or Italian Grappa when I see you again Take care and enjoy the holidays!"
    This was some sort of inside joke as we were talking about those specific drinks, so it did make sense that I mention them. Of course, I meant it as a joke and never expected her to bring me anything. To be honest, I don't care that much about that girl, so I decided to act randomly and write something playful.
    She replied
    "ok!! enjoy the holidays too!"
    I am not sure she got the joke. Would be funny if she really brought me something, lol
    Did I handle this well or was it crap?
    you handled that just fine, and hey worst case she shows up at your doorstep with some Italian grappa lol

    Anyway, she told me her bday was coming up and she asked me to book the date for her party. She definitely wants to see me again.
    I wonder if I should write something around the middle of August to show interest. or is that too needy?
    she definitely wants you to go to her party, you should go. at the very least she might have some hot friends, at best she might ask for birthday sex.

    and yes you should show some interest if you're interested in her.

    hit her up if you feel like it. nothing needy about that.

  3. #3
    Aleski23 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Had a date -need some feedback please

    Just to add to what Meteora said, because i do believe he hit the nail on every point

    Dating is a 2 way street and she could have been the one ditching the other guy for what ever reason.

    She was honest to you , she didn't try to play games. It can be hard for anyone(men/women) to make the right choices , especially in the dating scene .. you ditch someone and soon regret not sticking with the other one. So like Meteora said , if you still have interest in her , go for it buddy !

  4. #4
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Had a date -need some feedback please

    Thanks for the feedback, guys! That's exactly what I needed

    I am also glad that all this PUA learning is starting to pay off. I have internalised a lot of stuff subconsciously and now it comes out naturally without me thinking. It really gives me a different vibe as a person

    She's not a bad girl really (we also have a lot in common) and I appreciate the fact that she was honest from the very beginning. I guess it's worth giving her a chance.
    Too bad that birthday sex is not an option, she will be having her sister and girlfriends staying at her place for the week-end

    Cheers mates


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