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  • 1 Post By ImPat
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Thread: Her hesitation in Bed

  1. #1
    David_1211 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Her hesitation in Bed

    Just a quick question/advice on how to react and or what to say when you bring a girl home (for me its mostly from the bars...I live 2 blocks away... or just girls you talk to in general and they come over) and she hesitates in bed.

    We have ALL have heard the "Oh, I don't want to do anything tonight" (after making out and playing around for a while) or the "I'm not like that" or the *slapping of the hands* when you try to unbutton her pants.

    I'm pretty good a pulling them in and have good game to have them come over, but I get a little stuck when it gets to this situation. I don't want to pull away and just be okay with it by agreeing to not go on any further than she wants!

    Help me out here, folks!

    Thanks

  2. #2
    ImPat is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Her hesitation in Bed

    She obviously wants to (why would she agree to go over?) but she doesn't want to come off as "easy". Generally, you want to gently push things towards sex until she says stop. If you’re on a couch or bed, push her onto her back and position yourself between her legs. If you’re standing up, push her against a wall and do the same.

    Next, you’ll want clothes to start coming off. If she’s letting you grab her breasts comfortably, you can remove her shirt. If she’s wearing a skirt or dress, try moving your hands up her legs under her dress. Once again the general principle at work here is that you want to gently push things towards sex until she says stop. If she doesn't say stop, keep going.

    Next, take off your shirt. For whatever reason, when you take off your shirt, it subcommunicates that you expect sex to happen more than her taking any of her clothes off. This is usually where you’ll get “We’re not having sex tonight,” objection, if you do at all. The answer to this objection is always “OK,” then keep going. Listen to her actions, not words. From there on out it's two steps forward, one step back.

    BUT REMEMBER

    There’s a difference with the “We’re not having sex tonight,” objection. She’s not telling you to stop, but telling you what to expect. There’s a huge difference. When a girl says, “STOP,” it means, “STOP.” It’s not a game. It’s not a test. It’s not some clever social trick. It means STOP. To pursue it any further after a woman has clearly tried to get you to stop is rape and you’d be a fucked up individual to continue. Usually less than 1% of girls actually say "STOP" though.

    Have fun

  3. #3
    xavier's Avatar
    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Her hesitation in Bed

    Good for you man. Look up the Dicarlo Escalation Ladder on youtube, that should help. You can also try this other thing I do. Slowly but surely start to kiss heavily and then guide her hand to your penis. that usually does it, if you still have LMR tell her this, in a cool and confident low voice while looking into her eyes directly.

    You came back to my place because you wanted to have sex tonight. Don't denying it. We only get to live our lives once why deny yourself the pleasure of something you want to do? Chill.

    If those don't work, you're fucked I'm kidding That means you should have built more rapport or the Kino Escalation was wrong. try to do it all over again quickly in your home after a little Freeze Out.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

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  5. #4
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Her hesitation in Bed

    I have the opposite problem as you. Sometimes I have difficulty getting the girl to come over, but once I do, I close the deal 95% of the time. Luckily for you I wrote a thread on f-closing that you can read here https://www.puaforums.com/isolating-...rough-lmr.html

    Read it, do what it says, and your problems will be over.

  6. #5
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    Default Re: Her hesitation in Bed

    Hey direct, long time no see friend.

    Here's an easy trick along what the previous poster said I use. ^

    When making out, if she lets you grab her boobs, always take your shirt off first, then hers.

    Don't ask why. It just works SO much better. YOU, then her. Just remember that.

    Then as soon as you take her shirt off reach around with 1 hand and undo her bra as well, while making out with her. The secret is to never stop escalating/kissing.

    It'll take practice using only 1 hand but once your good at it your F closes will be much easier.

    Then escalate some more (it should be easy from here) and it's game over. (As soon as the bra comes off she's ready to get down 95% of the time)

  7. #6
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    Default Re: Her hesitation in Bed

    That's good too, if you're her alpha she'll follow, I never thought of that. Nice one Kyle.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.


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