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  1. #1
    Kesto11 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Getting a Hopeful Romantic to Initiate

    Here is a situation that may be somewhat new to many of you and I am humbly asking your advice. After reading and sifting through these forums, I have concluded that I have a NDI fiancee that has trouble initiating flirting/escalation with me. Knowing I am no PUA, I recognize I have not always helped the situation in the past (we all make mistakes).

    To keep this to the point, I will do my best to sum up the situation concisely.
    1) We are getting married in less than two months
    2) We have a very happy, loving and healthy relationship
    3) We are both happy to follow our religious beliefs, and are therefore waiting for marriage for the best stuff
    4) She is very attracted to me, but often has trouble opening up and initiating, whether it be words or actions
    5) I do believe she will open up more when we get married, but am worried I am not doing/saying the right things to help that
    6) I need to readjust my Mindset to take on confidence and get her to chase me more. I tend to shower her with compliments, time, and touches. Sometimes this has to be overboard and self-defeating. Good news, is she knows I think she's sexy and so she feels sexy. Bad news is that gives her the upper hand too much.

    Got a great thing going and she wants me, but just struggles showing it sometimes. She can be stubborn and does not usually respond well when I suggest she takes charge, but is quite seductive when she does get in the right mindset! In summary, how do I draw more of this out of her? I know it's in there, I've seen it. I just want more of it!

    Thanks in advance!

  2. #2
    xlosmuertosx is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting a Hopeful Romantic to Initiate

    It seems you have read the pandoras box ? I suggest using the techniques there which are specifically tailored to her type

    Basically try to create more of the US frame and whenever she makes attempts to please you/ learn more about you. Reward her.

    iNvestor The HR is looking at your long-term potential. If she can’t have
    a conversation with you, she’ll be in doubt. It’s important that you create
    opportunities to look each other in the eyes, talk about yourselves, and ask
    questions. A quiet spot with aesthetic appeal, or chill music in the background
    is perfect.
    Denier She will put the breaks on sexual advances, unless you can get her
    emotions really ramped up and then make a powerful move to the bedroom.
    Keep the touching light, focusing mostly on protecting her and guiding her.
    As the night comes to a close, pull back on the escalation. Get her back to
    your place. When you are alone, approach her from behind, hold her, and
    begin kissing her neck. Turn her around and kiss her on the mouth. If she
    turns away, follow her lips. Be careful – as always, no means no. But it’s good
    to be a little aggressive at the right time. Just remember what I send – this is
    all about a mutually beneficial, fun experience. It’s your responsibility to pay
    attention to her comfort level.
    Idealist With the HR, you’ll need to be in control and know where you are
    going at every step. She may be somewhat timid or fickle about trying new
    things. This is great because you can push her just past her comfort zone
    and have new experiences. Don’t take “no” for an answer when it comes to
    trying new food, or going to a place that’s not in her “scene.” As you lead her through new adventures, smile and tease her whenever she is being a “chickenfingers ” (this is what I call girls who order chicken fingers at dinner –
    it’s safe, lame, and boring. Try something different and crazy!)
    Date ideas
    *Plan on 2-3 activities for a first date with Deniers
    • A quiet wine bar
    • A low-key dive bar
    • A café
    • Have a picnic in the park or on the beach
    • Cook dinner at your place

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