So here's the setup:
After class, a woman in my public speaking course at college asked me if I wanted to come over the next day and help her fix up her speech outline. "Sure" I said. Boy was I thrilled. This marks the first time a female has straight up invited me to her place, and I really don't know this woman all that well.
Needless to say I ran my morning errands the next day and called her up. Right before I called her I experienced a rush of paranoid thoughts ranging from "OMG what if she's crazy and causes problems" to "What if things are awkward and it makes school that much MORE awkward". I listened to my gut feeling and called her up; instead of asking for her address I told her let's go grab lunch somewhere. So, we go and eat lunch and it's whatever. Not much happened, but when I saw her in class the next day I definitely followed up by telling her to call me sometime soon so I can go to her place and help her with her outline. By the next night she texted me and we made plans for the following evening.
So I got off work, showered, changed, and headed to her place.
Now before I go any further, let me describe this woman for you. She is something else. And she is OLDER. I'm guessing her late 40's early 50's but still in very good shape (I'm in my 20's ) and she will NOT disclose her age to me despite me asking her. Needless to say, she's South African and also has an accent, but she has been here in the states long enough to banter with you. She still confuses me though because I don't know if the vibes she gives me are clear signals or if she is just like that due to her culture. Either way, hopefully the following text will give you clarity on the situation.
I get to her house, I was experiencing some of the same "What if" anxieties from before but I managed to clear my mind by the time I got there. I went inside, blah blah blah and we exchanged some pleasantries and talked about class at her dinner table for like two hours (AND she cooked me food). I realized that was going nowhere and so I suggested we sit on her couch and study. We sat not super close but close enough for some touching and build-up. There were a lot of times when one of us would say something and the other would touch each other's arm and laugh about it, and also a couple times when I would lock eyes with her and get a hard-on, kinda like that gut feeling that she was feeling it too, but then either she would say something or I would f*ck up and lose focus, saying or asking something that totally would kill the moment. But boy she didn't seem to have any problem with me touching her at all. *ugh* I really came close to moving in for the kiss but I just didn't know how to go about doing it. She would just get so on a roll talking about all kinds of stuff and I was having trouble slowing her down.
Typing this and reading the story really makes me feel like an idiot because now it's blatantly obvious that she would be down, but there's still this gut feeling that it just wouldn't have been right. When I asked her if she was wearing perfume, she said no and didn't really seem to respond either way.
Is there a chance that she just invited me over and is like that with people due to her foreign background or am I in pure denial?
I've never really been in this situation before so what are your thoughts? If she IS down, is the effect gone or salvageable and do you guys have any tips for really escalating this kind of situation?
The most important question is will I be able to break free of this friendzone bullsh*t?