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  1. #1
    ShoreGuy28's Avatar
    ShoreGuy28 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default K-Closed a coworker that I'm friends with, haven't talked about it since...

    Hey Guys,

    Hoping you can help me out with pulling a coworker and really seeing if I can development a longer term relationship with this girl.

    Quick Background: I work in an office of ~50 people and sit back to back (cubicles) with a really cute coworker of mine who I've hung out with countless times. We goof around, always laugh about stupid stuff and I've tried running small game on her but I'm always torn between wanting to pull and wanting to keep professional in my office. We've been working together now for ~5 months.

    Without being too AFC, the two of us have "clicked" since day 1 in the office - we're in to the same music, do the same things in our free time, both adventurous and like meeting new people, etc etc etc...

    Last week, we went out on a casual date - she had to go return some clothes and I needed to go to the same store to buy a new shirt. Afterwards we went out for a couple drinks. As we're leaving she said she was going to head home and I said (in a cocky/funny way) "Oh, I thought you said you we're gonna come over and listen to some PM (band we both like)" She agreed and said "Ugh, you're such a bad influence."

    So, we're back at my place - I'm trying SO hard not to just throw her on my bed and start making out but I have a voice in the back of my head that keeps saying "You guys work together...this can never happen". Literally one of the biggest inner conflicts I've dealt with in a while! After about 10 minutes of mindless banter, both sitting on my bed, I basically crack and blurt out "I can't hold this in any longer" and we start making out (I layed us both down on my bed playfully agressive) - on and off for maybe 5 minutes. She's into it just based on her body language and I'm obviously into it too. It ends with her saying "OMG..blah blah blah...this shouldn't go any further than this..blah blah". Very likely an ASD but I agreed with her, it really isn't my intention to F-Close her, I'd like to develop trust and consistent sex and perhaps even a I said, we both click. I kissed her goodbye at my door and she went home.

    All is grand but I'm really having doubts and confusion about how I can proceed. As I said, this was last week. The next day at work was the same as any other day, we joked around, laughed and while there may have been some awkwardness, it wasn't much and I think we both handled it maturely. Since it happened, neither of us have even spoken about it and I really want to see where it can go..I'm hoping I didn't wait too long but then again, as a PUA I should have options and this shouldn't phase me but IT DOES...I can't stop thinking about this girl, hence why I'm looking for some advice.

    I apologize for any ramblings above but I'm hoping this breakdown can help clear up what I'm seeking help on. Also, I have a casual date set up tomorrow with her and want to put things in motion again...I'm having a hard time dealing with this because we work together. I can game well with random girls....gaming and getting sexual with friends / coworkers is not something I've done before..

    What I'd like some advice on:

    1) I want to avoid being friend-zoned and make my intentions clear that I'd like to move forward with heating things up. With any random girl at a bar or our in the field, this is pretty straightforward...ho w can I do this and still maintain a good working relationship if the feeling isn't mutual?

    2) I'm not sure if she doesn't feel comfortable discussing sexual topics, or if she just stays away from them with me because we work together...thoughts on how to tackle this? 2 steps forward, one step back...?

    3) I have a casual date planned for tomorrow as well to go check out some new small markets / shops in the area for winter...should I try and discuss what happened last week and understand how she feels about it? Part of me just wants to straight up tell her I have no regrets for what happened last week and think we should see where it goes.....thoughts? I don't want to frame my statements in a way that gives her an easy out by saying "we work together, we really shouldn't"... if it's going to happen, it should and it will, IMO.

    Appreciate all the help in advance guys...and any advice on getting past this slight one-itis would help. The fact that I have/get to see her everyday is probably working against me...I can't even think about the other HB's I've been seeing lately 

    - Shoreguy
    "She'll forgive you for being a man...but she WON'T forgive you for being a p*ssy"

  2. #2
    CapPickup is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: K-Closed a coworker that I'm friends with, haven't talked about it sinc

    1. From what you've said, it seems like you know what you're doing so just keep on and remember to escalate. Just don't overthink it too much. Don't think results think actions.

    2. Always calibrate and keep it subtle. More body language less words. Say something double meaning and then tease her for thinking that it's sexual. Also I love making normal shit sound super sexual (in a very subtle way. don't over do it). That shit is really fun!

    3. If it was me, I would rather just kiss her again than talk about it because I want to invoke her feelings for me, not activate her logical reasoning. Plus, a kiss can compress an entire discussion into one small action.

    I used to be really anal about this PUA thing but they're basically just suggestions for you to improve your own game. If you try to control/manipulate everything you rob yourself the chance to truly live.

    One-itis - I actually wrote an entire article about how to get rid of that long ago. But I think as long as you don't let it change who you are, it's harmless. There's nothing wrong with focusing on one girl.

    Lastly, all of this is congruent with my personality and based on my experiences, take it with a grain of salt and always calibrate.

    FUN! FUN! FUN! Don't think. JUST HAVE FUN!

    Don't let others tell you what is ALPHA and what isn't. Be ALPHA.

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