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  1. #1
    Lovesting is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Forbidden seduction - is there a future?

    Hi,
    I have known this girl for a year. She works with me and is very nice and friendly. She is 10 years younger than me. I am 43.

    However, she belongs to one of those faiths that only allows marriage with people that are also believers.
    And I am not.
    Moreover, she seems to be strict about that.

    Thus, until now, I had not considered herself to be a viable target for me.

    Anyway, we have talked sporadically for the last year.

    Recently, however, I decided that I would try to work her. And so, I asked her out to lunch about three times so far. I started to slowly escalate Kino in the sense that we hugged. And I am also getting used to peck her on the cheek when no one is around, etc.

    However, she never invites me to go for lunch (it is always me) and she rarely starts kino, besides reciprocating the peck on the cheek every now and then.

    I am always the one pushing things forward little by little.

    What I would like is an assessment of our last lunch together.

    She came to my office three days ago by 11:55am to consult with me on something important. She was dressing nicer than she uses to at work. I placed her on a chair very close to mine. And we talked. She seemed unusually happy. Then she continued talking about some nonsense and time passed. Well, then I decided to ask her out for lunch. She said she had to meet a friend from her church, but she was not being able to contact him (probably an orbiter, or a casual boyfriend, I don’t know). I then offered to contact him through skype and managed to do it. The guy said he was already eating elsewhere. Well, then she agreed to go lunch with me. At that point she called me as “friend”, but in a very low and unconvincing tone of voice.

    On the way out, she picked my mail and handed it to me.

    And then we went to my car – she seemed indeed unusually happy- she laughed and smiled a lot. I complimented on her nice blouse.
    As we were in the car, I caressed her thigh a few times, and she kept being still while I did that. However, the ride to the restaurant was just a 5 minute one.

    When we arrived, we got our seats (I sat in front of her – I could sense a little surprise because whenever possible, and in the last three times, I had always sat alongside with her).

    I then excused myself and I went to the bathroom. When I was returning to our table, she saw me and then she opened a very large and happy smile – the best I have so far seen her doing.

    During lunch, I of course mentioned to her that she seemed so happy… However, upon hearing me say that, she immediately fixed her behavior to a more usual one - not too happy anymore.

    That puzzled me. Why?

    Then, I decided to start to talk about people of our workplace who have a thing among themselves. She was surprised someone I mentioned had had an affair with another one. And she told me about some flings she knew that other people there had as well. She eventually told me of another specific guy she feels some attraction to, but made a point to emphasize that he was not her type, and quickly changed subject. This guy does not belong to her cult anyway. Another forbidden one.

    Then I decided to mention to her that when one has a thing with someone else, especially when this is considered forbidden, that one should take care to make it absolutely risk free, in a sense that no one else should know about. She then said: - Well, if it is a zero risk, it will never happen.

    And we kept talking, even after finishing our meal.

    Well, then we went back to my car. When we sat, I pulled the right side of her head with one hand and tried to peck her left cheek . She was caught by surprise and, as a result, I ended up pecking her left ear instead.

    As I did that, I tried to neg her by saying: - Stay calm, I would never have a fling with you.

    On doing all that, her facial expression became blank, displaying fear, I think. She then asked:
    -What, what did you say?
    She had not heard it properly, and I indeed did not say it with a firm tone of voice – I was kind of insecure, I guess. So obviously she did not hear clearly what I said. But I think she heard the word “fling”. Well, sensing her fear, I said. – Nevermind, I was just kidding. And started to talk about something else.

    Then she became comfortable again. And, on the way back, out of an excuse to feel the fabric of her pants, I slowly caressed and squeezed her left thigh twice – and she giggled nervously, when I discreetly squeezed it four times straight. But she did not try to actively stop it. Then, we arrived. We kept talking about some sexualized topics and, when we departed, she said.
    – I’ll be around the sales machine – Bye.

    But I did not go there that day,and we have not seen each other since - I had to really work.

    Three days have passed since, and I will see her soon though.

    So, what are your assessments of this situation?

    Why did she stop appearing happy when I pointed that out to her?

    Why the unusual fear after the cheek peck attempt? Especially since she claimed she had not heard what I had then said?

    Do you guys think I will be able to have an undercover affair with this cult girl?

    What should I do now, given the “forbidden” circumstances involved?

  2. #2
    Lovesting is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Cool Please help!!!

    Guys,

    I need your help and opinion on the above problem.
    Please!!!!

  3. #3
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    Alanswer is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Forbidden seduction - is there a future?

    So, what are your assessments of this situation?
    Feasible... But won't be easy...

    Why did she stop appearing happy when I pointed that out to her?
    Because she likes being with you and part of her doesn't want you to know that. You have to understand that the situation is difficult essentially for HER.
    For you it's a bit frustrating but you don't risk much.
    She, on the other hand, would have to overcome, deny part of her faith.
    So, make her know you're aware and understanding of that fact but by trying to downplay it.
    It's a double edge sword because you don't know how she can react when being confronted. She could shut down completely... Or be more comfortable because she feels you understand her and try to put yourself in her shoes.

    I don't think you wanna stay in the unsaid, though. Because if something indeed happen with the Kino Escalation and all, you really wanna have a good idea on what she'll be asking from you then. You may end up in a very serious relationship with her... And her 'cult'... Or hurting her.

    Why the unusual fear after the cheek peck attempt? Especially since she claimed she had not heard what I had then said?
    1- As you said, surprise.
    2- Again, as you noticed, she may not have heard and understood ALL you said, but she heard 'fling'. You should have repeated what you said words for words. But what's done is done.

    Do you guys think I will be able to have an undercover affair with this cult girl?
    1- Is it what YOU want? Do you only want a sexual relationship?
    2- Or is it her cult, family, you don't want anything to do with?

    You'd have to do a lot of convincing for her to forget the implications of her faith (and I don't speak only about the fact you're a non-believer here, but more of the way she'll feel like to hide this relationship. It seems to me she would feel bad about the secrecy because it would imply this is something she can't be proud of or feel good about... Like being unworthy, 'slutty' even?)

    What's her relationship history? Could she act different and more discretly (secretly) with someone she is really attracted to?..

    What should I do now, given the “forbidden” circumstances involved?
    As mentioned above, it's not only because it's 'forbidden', maybe she could along with that. But would it be only sexual?

    In conclusion, you have some talking to do with her, man. Try being indirect. "What would you in this situation" kind of speech, and try to convey YOUR message by telling what YOU could do and why.

    But above all, you need to make her feel the less guilty as possible. But she's (sexually) attracted to you, that's for sure.

    Complex situation indeed...

    Alanswer
    Last edited by Alanswer; 03-26-2011 at 01:46 AM.

  4. #4
    Lovesting is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Cool Re: Forbidden seduction - is there a future?

    Dear Alanswer,

    Thank you very much for your insightful reply. It was awakening for me to read your statement:

    “Because she likes being with you and part of her doesn't want you to know that.”


    Now, that I read it, it certainly sounds as the ultimate explanation of her behavior.
    It even explains other situations which I did not describe.
    Apparently she would not like it to be explicitly mentioned to her, by myself, of any evidence of her above average interest on me.
    If I go with the flow, but do not call her attention to it, she will allow it to continue and escalate. The minute I verbally mention anything, then she closes herself.

    It happened two weeks ago, when her blouse was kind of loose, as we were using a calculator, I saw her breasts for a good while. I then complimented on her blouse saying it was very sexy. She immediately pulled off and placed her hand on top of the blouse, essentially eliminating my glimpse of the wonderful “greek sculpture” I was admiring.

    Thus, I am afraid of following your double edged sword suggestion of talking about things with her. She might probably close herself off completely.

    Nevertheless,
    I did not quite understand what you meant when you said:

    "Because if something indeed happen with the Kino Escalation and all, you really wanna have a good idea on what she'll be asking from you then. You may end up in a very serious relationship with her... And her 'cult'... Or hurting her."

    If I do not talk to her, and kino happens: a KC - then what would she ask of me that would be bad? I don’t understand. Please, elaborate, explain..

    Sorry, I don’t know her relationship history. Unfortunately.

    On my side, I am an atheist who does not like religions and detests cults. No negotiations possible here.

    But I do like her as a person. What I would sincerely like is her to be a friend of mine with benefits.

    If that proves not to be possible, then, yes, I would love to simply have sex with her.

    And I liked your final words:

    "But above all, you need to make her feel the less guilty as possible. But she's (sexually) attracted to you, that's for sure."

    I will try.

    But let me tell you our last two interactions after that post.

    A – I went to her office to discuss work related stuff. Eventually we were standing, and, not to surprise her, I simply slowly kissed her cheek. She kept talking as if nothing had happened. I became worried, since nothing seemed to be happening to her on a physiological level. The only slight evidence of interest was the fact that she would not stop our interaction. That prompted me to eventually invite her out for lunch, in which we had just a soft conversation. However, as I was paying the bill, I managed to brush my leg “accidentally” on her ass. She reacted promptly: she immediately moved away and started a nervous cough.
    I was surprised by the intensity of the reaction due to an almost irrelevant incident.

    B- The next day, the magic happened. When I was walking in the hall, I met her talking to a subordinate of ours, a total AFC. I passed by, and placed my hand on the small of her back and started talking to her.
    Then, for the first time, she caressed her hair. Sensing this ioi, I moved my head a little closer to hers.
    She then blushed very vividly in the region above her lips and around the nose.
    Since we were in the hall of our workplace, nothing could progress, or else I would have made a move. I stepped back, worried about what the guy would be thinking of all of that. At that moment, she started teasing me heavily on something. I, of course, teased her back, and this went on in a very excited and even kind of loud way – as if we were teenagers. At that point I had totally forgotten the presence of the other guy (I wonder what he was thinking of all of that). I then walked away as she was still teasing me in a continuous way. That was it. I will only see her again on Monday.

    What do you think of all of that? What is happening to her?

    See, in the recent past, whenever I tried to escalate things in a more serious manner, she would pull back.

    Will she pull back on a KC attempt if she blushed that way again, and I do decide to make a move?

    What do you think it would be the best way for me to KC her, given the circumstances?

    Is there a future in this as an open true friendship with benefits relationship? Of course, the benefits part would have to be kept secret and hidden from everybody.
    Last edited by Lovesting; 03-26-2011 at 07:40 PM.

  5. #5
    Lovesting is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Forbidden seduction - is there a future?

    Hi guys,

    Things are progressing...
    Thus, I urgently need your assessment on the follow up above.
    Please...

    Thank you


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