I have known this girl for a year. She works with me and is very nice and friendly. She is 10 years younger than me. I am 43.
However, she belongs to one of those faiths that only allows marriage with people that are also believers.
And I am not.
Moreover, she seems to be strict about that.
Thus, until now, I had not considered herself to be a viable target for me.
Anyway, we have talked sporadically for the last year.
Recently, however, I decided that I would try to work her. And so, I asked her out to lunch about three times so far. I started to slowly escalate Kino in the sense that we hugged. And I am also getting used to peck her on the cheek when no one is around, etc.
However, she never invites me to go for lunch (it is always me) and she rarely starts kino, besides reciprocating the peck on the cheek every now and then.
I am always the one pushing things forward little by little.
What I would like is an assessment of our last lunch together.
She came to my office three days ago by 11:55am to consult with me on something important. She was dressing nicer than she uses to at work. I placed her on a chair very close to mine. And we talked. She seemed unusually happy. Then she continued talking about some nonsense and time passed. Well, then I decided to ask her out for lunch. She said she had to meet a friend from her church, but she was not being able to contact him (probably an orbiter, or a casual boyfriend, I don’t know). I then offered to contact him through skype and managed to do it. The guy said he was already eating elsewhere. Well, then she agreed to go lunch with me. At that point she called me as “friend”, but in a very low and unconvincing tone of voice.
On the way out, she picked my mail and handed it to me.
And then we went to my car – she seemed indeed unusually happy- she laughed and smiled a lot. I complimented on her nice blouse.
As we were in the car, I caressed her thigh a few times, and she kept being still while I did that. However, the ride to the restaurant was just a 5 minute one.
When we arrived, we got our seats (I sat in front of her – I could sense a little surprise because whenever possible, and in the last three times, I had always sat alongside with her).
I then excused myself and I went to the bathroom. When I was returning to our table, she saw me and then she opened a very large and happy smile – the best I have so far seen her doing.
During lunch, I of course mentioned to her that she seemed so happy… However, upon hearing me say that, she immediately fixed her behavior to a more usual one - not too happy anymore.
That puzzled me. Why?
Then, I decided to start to talk about people of our workplace who have a thing among themselves. She was surprised someone I mentioned had had an affair with another one. And she told me about some flings she knew that other people there had as well. She eventually told me of another specific guy she feels some attraction to, but made a point to emphasize that he was not her type, and quickly changed subject. This guy does not belong to her cult anyway. Another forbidden one.
Then I decided to mention to her that when one has a thing with someone else, especially when this is considered forbidden, that one should take care to make it absolutely risk free, in a sense that no one else should know about. She then said: - Well, if it is a zero risk, it will never happen.
And we kept talking, even after finishing our meal.
Well, then we went back to my car. When we sat, I pulled the right side of her head with one hand and tried to peck her left cheek . She was caught by surprise and, as a result, I ended up pecking her left ear instead.
As I did that, I tried to neg her by saying: - Stay calm, I would never have a fling with you.
On doing all that, her facial expression became blank, displaying fear, I think. She then asked:
-What, what did you say?
She had not heard it properly, and I indeed did not say it with a firm tone of voice – I was kind of insecure, I guess. So obviously she did not hear clearly what I said. But I think she heard the word “fling”. Well, sensing her fear, I said. – Nevermind, I was just kidding. And started to talk about something else.
Then she became comfortable again. And, on the way back, out of an excuse to feel the fabric of her pants, I slowly caressed and squeezed her left thigh twice – and she giggled nervously, when I discreetly squeezed it four times straight. But she did not try to actively stop it. Then, we arrived. We kept talking about some sexualized topics and, when we departed, she said.
– I’ll be around the sales machine – Bye.
But I did not go there that day,and we have not seen each other since - I had to really work.
Three days have passed since, and I will see her soon though.
So, what are your assessments of this situation?
Why did she stop appearing happy when I pointed that out to her?
Why the unusual fear after the cheek peck attempt? Especially since she claimed she had not heard what I had then said?
Do you guys think I will be able to have an undercover affair with this cult girl?
What should I do now, given the “forbidden” circumstances involved?