Ok, Guys you may have noticed that I have been gone for a while. Well let me explain, I met a girl, not just any girl, a woman that knocked the game right out of me. In an instant, like a bolt of lightning she hit me, and I knew I was done. How did I know you ask? Well, I have a restless spirit. Even when I’m with the hottest girls, my eyes are always scoping. I’m not a cheater but I’m aware of every hot little thing that crosses my path. With her around it all went away. I for the first time I can remember I felt like I wasn’t missing anything. I felt complete.
I simply had to have her. I didn’t want her for lust, or status (she is flawlessly beautiful) but she reignited emotion in me. I went through a period where I felt nothing. Women couldn’t hurt me because I simply wasn’t invested in them. I didn’t give a sh1t. I was never a player. I was always honest, but none of them moved me in a way that my heart opened up to them. Put simply, I was all game.
Why this girl? She is selfless. She is genuine. She is so sensitive and pure in her nature. God, did I mention she is breathtaking? She made me feel like the protector, the confidant, the lover, the provider, all the things that we should aspire to be as men at some point. I planned a first date worthy of a movie, Argentine Tango, a scavenger hunt, blue roses, and for our dinner the chef invited us back into the kitchen put us in aprons to help prepare the meals. I literally blew 2k, and cancelled a 7 day cruise to the Caribbean just to make sure she had no doubts of my intent. I did all this for a shot.
So why do I have this broken heart? She doesn’t trust me. I dumped her friend to get with her, she doesn’t trust the PUA, she googled me, she read my posts and it freaked her out. (Incidentally, that’s why I stopped the 30 girls reports, even though they were two years old.) I made a mistake as well. The week after our first date, I had to drop some things at my exes house and we fooled around. I caught myself, we stopped short of sex. You are probably thinking “it was the first date that doesn’t even count, you didn’t even have sex”. No, it was my mistake, she isn’t like other women, I should have known better. Since that time, I haven’t coached even though she wouldn’t know, sarged at all, not even a phone number. Most, importantly I haven’t missed it.
So why am I sad, again? She doesn’t trust me and I don’t think it’s something I can fix. Now you guys probably think this is a sad story and right now it is. I’m not gonna lie my heart is broken but that’s the beauty of the story. For a while, I lost myself in pick up. I lost my healthy sense of compassion and it was all game. With her, I dropped it all, no game. I was honest, open and sincere. It sucks, I think I lost, I don’t think she is coming back but still she gave me something…Hope. I know that somewhere inside me, no matter what there is a place for a woman that isn’t like the rest. Nobody wants to be the 50 year old guy at the club trying to get some ass. Ultimately, I think at some point after all the partying, we want a wife, a companion, someone to mother our children. All I had to suffer was a broken heart and blow a couple of grand to remember that….it was worth it.