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Thread: Need Life Advice From Those Who Are Older

  1. #1
    Cody's Avatar
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    Default Need Life Advice From Those Who Are Older

    Hey Guys,

    I posted this in the Member's Lounge because it's kind of a personal topic for me. I know it's a fairly common problem anymore but would like some advice from those who are older and who I respect. It's not about women; it's about life, but we all know women are just one of the dimensions to PU. I appreciate what you all have to say.

    I've said before that I'm only 20 and don't know much. I love to learn just about anything and everything, and I hardly struggle in my classes. I love school, but it's causing some serious debt. By the time I get done with my BA I'll be around 60k in the hole. I'm scared. Seriously scared. I'm afraid that I won't be able to pay it all back, which really isn't an option, but neither is not going to school. I NEED an education. You can't get far without one anymore. I used to think maybe I'd have a future in this but I doubt that more and more each day. I've contacted big names in The Game but they don't want to help me. To them I'm just another kid, which I guess I don't blame them because I'd probably think the same thing too. This is what I like to do and I don't know what else I would do that would make me happy. I've considered the military after graduation just because it's a solid job, not because I have any interest in it.

    I have big dreams.

    I just want to be successful.

    I guess I don't know what I'm looking for. Sit me on your knee and pat me on the back until I'm done crying, "It's okay Cody, it'll all be okay." Tell me life sucks. I'm trash, come from trash, and all I'll ever be is lower middle class. Tell me I should grab a job at a factory around here, take care of my parents, and then die. But I don't want that. I want to actually live.

    Thanks again for your sympathy, empathy, or whatever you have to say.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  2. #2
    carboard is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need Life Advice From Those Who Are Older

    Stay in school! Get your BA, get a BA job (see what I did there) and you will pay back your debt. 60k is not a lot to be in debt from school loans (I know its hard to believe) but for some jobs out of undergrad that is less than a years salary. STAY IN SCHOOL!

  3. #3
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Life Advice From Those Who Are Older

    Two realities of life are you're going to die and you're going to face the global financial tax and debt system.

    There are better options than the military. Think further down the barrell of life not down the barrell of a gun.

    The good news is as you age many of your dreams not only become true but often you exceed your own youthful expectations. When you're young you can only see around one corner of the building with a periscope, you have no idea what's around the other corners but I promise you if you stay true to yourself, work hard good things will come your way. Don't be afraid to take the path least travelled either. The job markets not great in the US but it's doing fine in other parts of the world, where there are also many hot chicks to be had China, middle east, australian mining enterprize, parts of south america. There really is an abundance of opportunities to be had and many people are too gutless to take them. They are too busy looking in the rear view mirror of life instead of on the road ahead. The baby boomer generation is also about to retire and the job market will be full of suprises.

    A 60k university debt is nothing in the fullness of time. Get it automatically deducted from your salary and you don't even notice it. Same with car and house loans. Look at houses prices in major cities and you realize it's tough work but most people have to go through it. You will pay off your debt soon enough once you start working, especially if you are disciplined. Eventually in life you will also likely enherit money.

    Your 20's are about exploring and achieving your career and possibly by the time your in your 30's you have actually acheived many of your goals. Your 30's become a golden era where you can look for a wife or whatever else you want to persue. By the time you actually have money to afford decent things you might find you don't want or need them anymore. Some of the happiest people I know have nothing and some of the richest people I've met are often bitter and unhappy. I know it sounds cliched but it's true. The older I get the more ideal a simple, house, garden and family sounds - and that's what most women seem to ultimately crave as well. Having good friends is much better than having good money and you won't end up poor. You will probably do far better than you think.

    Just being alive when you're older is success! Your health is everything. You have a great and strong personality Cody for a 20 year old and that attitude is worth money. I tell my staff all the time 'your worth more money' and they love to hear it. One day you are the apprentice, the next day the master. With your attitude your time will be worth money and once you understand the volumes of money that change hands in different industries and contracts you will easily work out how to effectively ask for a pay rise and make yourself 'unsackable'. Then you can start complaining about mortgage lockdown

    I had absolutely no money when I graduated. God damn best times of my life!!!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Need Life Advice From Those Who Are Older

    I'm in a similar situation. My previous course left me a 12K debt, which is considered a lot here. I paid for the current one, so if I'd drop out I'd only have like an extra 2K debt for public transport costs.

    The money is not really a problem. The thing is, the Netherlands has way different colleges. We have no campuses. By the time I'll graduate I'll be 27, completely broke and still living with my parents. That's scary to me. I'd love to live on my own. A friend of mine even suggested becoming flatmates next school year. Living on my own would bring a ton of amazing advantages with it.

    The thing is, diplomas are always useful - but the salary of a high school teacher is the same as that of a security guard. I'm currently doing the former and still have 3 1/4 years to go. I can become the latter after only a 10-week course.

    But I don't want to hijack your thread, Cody. So here's my post to you.

    I've been in military school and I doubt you'd feel any better there if you're only there because it's a solid job. Motivation, doing what you want to do, is very much key in the military so if the profession itself doesn't attract you, don't do it. Otherwise it's just a touch job where you have to take orders all day, sometimes outside in the freezing snow and rain.

    Whitedragon is right. The money isn't that important. After I graduated high school I joined military school and the others were like 'wtf are you doing here? You could have gone to college'. But it's what I wanted to do, and I had the time of my life.

    Your job is what you'll be doing half the time your awake. So pick something that makes you happy, because if you're not happy half of the time, the other half of your time (free time) is farked too. If you want to stay in school 'cause it makes you happy - do so.

    As for PUA: why don't you start some in-field workshops in your local area? Just practise it on your friends first so you've done it all once, then hang up some advertisements in your neighbourhood. Make it something cheap like $50 a person for the day, and if you appear to be good at it and start to become better at teaching PUA you can expend your area and raise the prices.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Need Life Advice From Those Who Are Older

    Thanks Guys, everything each of you said was great and means a lot. I really appreciate it. You all are great people.

    Neither of my parents went to college, but my sister is in her fourth year of graduate school so once this year is over she'll be a doctor. Sometimes it's a lot of pressure. It's also funny for me to worry about the housing market (which I do) when if I choose to stick around here I could buy a decent home for under 100k. Gotta love the midwest.

    I've taken numerous personality tests and they all say the same thing: you'll be good at whatever you do. I guess I'm still trying to find my passion.

    I've considered it, Virgil, but I always wrestle with myself. I really don't want to become one of the money hungry scam guys. I try to do my best in helping people for free, but I do realize now after having been doing this for so long that good advice is hard to come by/isn't cheap. I'll need to find that balance of free/price and starting out independent.

    p.s. I totally want to go to the Netherlands. What's it like?
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  6. #6
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    Default Re: Need Life Advice From Those Who Are Older

    The Netherlands is simply home for me. The weather is really strange - it's June 5th and cold, where last week was really warm. Furthermore, I guess it's really a lot like the USA. It's way smaller, but I think most things are the same. We're a lot more down-to-earth than Americans, though. And thinner. Our two major cities, *mst*rd*m (yes, that's censored) and Rotterdam have like 800K and 600K residents. It's just a small country with some funny laws but nothing special.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Need Life Advice From Those Who Are Older

    Hey MR OT,

    "I have big dreams."
    Big dreams are good. You need to think big.

    "I just want to be successful."
    This is vague. What does success mean to you? Define it. Make it tangible.

    "I guess I don't know what I'm looking for."
    Which 20 year old truly does? But the fact that you're asking the questions shows a maturity that not many 20 years olds have and you should definitely acknowledge that. IMO this puts you ahead of the curve.

    Set goals for yourself. Set gignatic goals for yourself then chunk them into manageable sizes. A goal is to pay off your debt, but make it more specific. E.G I will pay off 60k by XX date.

    Another goal could be to have your book published on Direct Game, but again be specific - I will have my book published by XX

    Another goal - I will double my current income per annum by XX.

    Being specific makes it measurable. I.E you will know when you have achieved it.

    Be realistic about it. e.g. I want to walk on the moon is not a viable goal, but paying off debt is.

    Whilst being realistic, always challenge yourself. Push the envelope.

    Lastly always have a deadline. This will give your goals an energy; without a deadline they're just ideas.

    hope this helps
    rs5096

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Need Life Advice From Those Who Are Older

    Im 20 as well. The world can be farking scary bro. Read "Rich Dad, Poor Dad." As a pua you should be able to control your reality. This books gold, and watch Matt Hussey on buisness. I have a rich brother, made it by himself and he is against college.

    Im sorry if my opinion is completely different from everyone elses here.
    "I've never seen anyone pull as quickly or as efficiently as you"
    -HarryRat(Simplepicku p)

  9. #9
    Cody's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Life Advice From Those Who Are Older

    WHERE'S THE THANK BUTTON?!? Did I use up all my thanks?

    rs - One of my goals is to have my book written-final copy-by the time I graduate and become BA (carboard lol.)
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  10. #10
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Life Advice From Those Who Are Older

    Here's a quote I have always liked: 'why make a living when you can design a life'


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