Shortly after my last entry, I felt I was going to lose it. Sometimes I'd feel horrible and just minutes later I'd have approached a beautiful woman who gave me a good reaction, making me feel on top of the world. These mood swings have been going on for a while now, and a couple of days ago I felt like I might be going crazy. My thoughts darkened. Sometimes the road to getting laid seems so impossible I start to feel slightly depressed. Good thing to note here: I'm back to normal now.
I did make some more approaches in the meanwhile. Some of them were received well, others weren't. I think I'm really starting to figure out when women want to be approached and when not. Women who wear headphones, are calling, busy with work, looking cranky, etc. generally don't react well to approaches because they have their minds at work and are not in a social state. Women who are just walking around, talking to their friends, shopping, smiling, etc. seem to be much more receptive to a direct approach - and probably to any kind of approach at that. Looks like I'm starting to cover new ground on my own. Good for me.
Last Saturday my uncle got married, and there was a party with a big part of my family I haven't seen in years as well as some hot bridesmaids. Apparently, one of them had been on a TV show and was semi-famous. I only talked to her for a minute after opening indirect (what?? Virgil, indirect? Yes - let me explain why). She seemed bored talking to me and left. It was my only approach besides a hand kiss on one of the girls working there.
Here's why I didn't go direct: I was getting wasted. I find that when I'm sober, I can judge every situation much better and thus what would be socially acceptable on my uncle's wedding, too. So when I got tipsy, I became afraid to do something wrong and decided it wasn't a good idea to go direct any more. So I didn't do so. I have to lay off the liquor in the future when I'm in a place I could approach. Alcohol does nothing to combat aa.
Funny thing: The girl I slept in bed with without having sex (last journal) attended as well. My sister brought her along. I'm waaay into the friend zone with her, especially 'cause she thinks I'm a virgin. The thing is, despite the alcohol I took, I was being pretty alpha. When I was talking to her, I noticed her looking at my lips a couple of times. Which is an ioi for "I want to kiss you". Ah, it was probably nothing, but still it's nice to fantasise about it.
Today I had a small personal victory. For the first time, I approached direct outside my usual territory. Also, she reacted extremely poor but I walked away, ready to approach again immediately. Which is important to keep on going. Also, for the first time someone was sitting next to that girl and I didn't give a damn thing what that person might think.
Anyway, here's how I approached her. I walked up to her and said she looked very cute. Her answer was 'okay' with some kinda pokerface and she turned her face somewhere else. Yeah, that's some b1tchy blowout. At least say thank you. But well, after a few seconds I didn't care any more and that feels good.
Thanks for reading, guys. Good luck on your own journeys!