My hometown has a population of less than 5,000. My high school graduating class was less than 100. During the summer, each small town around me has a festival of some sort celebrating things like heritage, corn, cows, etc. Honestly it’s a lot of fun and it keeps the community alive, especially the elderly. Well, Shantel (my best friend from previous posts) wanted to bring her boyfriend Jake to Corn Carnival, which is a big event put on by a close town. [My school was comprised of primarily two towns. This was one of them] Corn Carnival was THE SH*T growing up, but now it’s just a chance for my class to have a small reunion and get sh*t faced. I wasn’t too keen on going back, but I went for Shanny and to make sure Jake didn’t shoot himself out of boredom.
I woke up at 5 p.m. yesterday, promising Shantel the day before that I would be awake WAY before five. My phone’s buzzing. It’s Shantel, wondering where I am.
Me: “Oh sh*t! Give me an hour.”
I had been up until 5 a.m. the night before, taking an online test for a class we’re both in.
An hour later I show up to the carnival and see Shanny and Jake at a picnic table, along with some other friends from high school.
Me: “What’s up, F*ckers?!” (This is how I greet my friends)
Blah blah blah.
I’m hungry so I go over to the pork stand for a burger. I see Amy, whom I haven’t seen in months. We “dated” back in middle school. We go to the same university. I see her every once in a while.
Me: “I’m hungry, what do you have for me?” *Notice her two hot friends that are also working* I look at one of them. “Damn, you’re hot. Amy, who are your friends?” They giggle.
Amy: *Introduces me* “We have tenderloins and burgers.”
Me: *Giving her friends all of my attention* “That’s it?”
After complaining about how they should at least have ice cream, I buy a burger and tell her to come down to bingo after she’s done playing around (playing around, working. Same thing) Oh and to bring her hot friends, naturally.
Shantel, Jake, and I go and play some bingo. We spend $8 each. I’m the only one who ever wins, taking the pot of $3. I’m a champ.
Amy calls wondering where I am. We plan to meet up near the store, so Shake (that’s their celebrity name) and I start making our way up the street. I run into Emma on the way there.
I haven’t seen Emma in years. The last time I talked to her was after she had been in a car wreck. She hadn’t looked the best. She looked fantastic now.
She’s happy to see me. Really happy to see me. Shantel and Jake branch off to go play carnival games (They get it). I build rapport and comfort. Emma’s with her friend Michelle who isn’t near as excited about our conversation as Emma, despite my efforts to keep her involved.
Me: “You look tired.”
Michelle: “I am. I want to sleep.”
Me: “No one’s stopping you.”
Michelle: “Well if I leave you have to take care of Emma.”
Me: “Emma’s a big girl. She can take care of herself.” *Wink at Emma* She laughs.
I see Shake on their way back. Shanny’s caring a huge stuffed puppy dog; Jake has a cocky grin on his face. Jake is a ballin’ champ.
Emma suggests we find a picnic table to talk, but Shanny wants to take her stuffed animal to the car because she obviously doesn’t want to haul it around for the rest of the night. I have to shake Emma off anyway because I had plans to meet Amy. I say that I’m going with them, but she should text me later. Boom. Number Close.
Amy calls again.
Me: “Blah blah Shake and a puppy dog blah blah see you soon.”
We meet up but her friends aren’t there. Kind of a letdown but I don’t mind. Shake says they want to go on some rides. They trail off (they’re good at this) and we go on a walk.
I ask about her: what she’s been up to; where is she working; how is school; future goals. She mentions that she had broken up with her boyfriend a few months back. How many months? Three months. How long were they together? A year. Is she over it? Yes. I’m in the clear.
Amy knows I am a PUA. She knows that my dream is to ultimately be the next AFC Adam. She knows everything, and I don’t try to hide it. This is why she trusts me, because I’m honest with her.
I’ve been keeping my distance. I assumed she was still with her boyfriend and I respected that. Now that I’m in the clear, I go kino.
I pinch her butt.
Amy: “Hey! What are you doing?!”
Me: “Pinching your butt J”
Me: “Because I wanted to.”
I do it again, then a few more times. She knocks my hand away, but then decides to hold it. ioi
Another girl walks by that I used to know and I claw her. We’re both busy, me with Amy and her with her crowd, so I number close in seconds to make sure everything keeps running smoothly. No big deal.
Shanny calls. It’s time for fireworks. We get back to my car then drive out to the edge of the cornfield. I kiss Amy.
I don’t do anything during the fireworks. We’re with my crew and just having fun. After all, it’s not like I planned any of this. I’m only here to make sure Jake enjoys himself and to have a good time. I’m not sarging. I’m not playing The Game. This is my life, and I’m just living it.
Afterwards we’re invited to a bonfire at a friend’s house, but everyone is stopping back at home to grab their booze before getting there. Neither Amy or I drink, so we’re left with an awkward time gap.
Me: “Let’s go to the football field.”
I haven’t been to our field since I was in high school. It’s exactly what you would expect it to be: green grass, Friday Night Lights material. We’re a small town in the country. Football is everything.
I kiss her and then some. Things are getting, heated then she stops. LMR. To be expected.
Amy: “So how often do you do this?”
Me: “Do what?”
Amy: “This.” *Notes surroundings*
Me: “Not very often.”
Amy: “I don’t get it.”
Me: “Just because I’m a Pick Up Artist doesn’t mean I have sex with girls all the time anywhere I want. Most women don’t get this far. You have to be pretty AND smart. You’d be surprised how many girls don’t have both. So no, I don’t do this often.”
Me: “Well, I did it in a cemetery once. That was fun.”
Amy: “What?! How?! When?! Why?! With who?!?”
Me: “I try not to talk about other women in situations like this.”
Amy: “You always have the right thing to say, don’t you?”
Me: “Would you expect anything less?”
Amy: *A car drives by off in the distance* “I don’t normally do this kind of thing. I’m a good girl.”
Me: “And this is bad?”
Amy: “Do you think so?”
Me: “Bad is a perspective. Who told you it was bad, your mom?”
Amy: “I guess I just decided by myself.”
Me: “And you can decide whatever you want.”
Amy: “Do you think this is bad?
Amy: “We should get going, they’re probably waiting on us.”
Me: “They can wait.”
We start kissing again, then she stops. She looks at me.
Me: “Look, if you don’t want to do this that’s fine. We can get going right now. All you have to do is say no and I’ll stop.”
Me: “Really what?”
Amy: “All I have to do is say no.”
Amy: “And you’ll stop.”
Amy: “Just like that?”
Me: “Just like that.”
And then we did stuff.
We never made it to the bonfire.