Lately I've been way too busy to do any PUA in practice. School has kept me busy but the year is almost over and the coming weeks I'll have a lot more time for it. So I'm not going to report on any sarges today. I actually think I didn't do any since my last report, nearly two weeks ago.
Two different types of alpha males
Something has been on my mind, though. After reading tons on alpha males and the kind of men women are attracted to, I realized there are two types of alpha males:
1. The social alpha male. He tries to make everybody his friend, is always happy and enjoying himself. (similar to Mystery)
2. The egoist alpha male. He does whatever he wants, isn't afraid to say anything to anyone and is like "if you want to hang out with me, do so. If not, that's your problem." (similar to David X)
The thing here is that I can get into both mindsets. But not the two combined, simply because when I'm in social mode, I don't want to fark up so I filter out anything that might be offensive to others or could damage my reputation. But when into egoist mode, I am able to say anything on my mind without giving a damn and I do whatever I want. I simply let go of the feeling of having to please anyone, but it's also making me feel slightly depressed.
The thing here is, if I am to go direct, I should be able to say anything to a woman, which I can as an egoist alpha male, because I'm being completely myself. I won't even feel like I have to apologize, cover anything up or explain anything because I am being myself. I will go for what I want and won't be fearful doing so. However, I'm not that social by nature so I won't be gaining tons of friends. I will become more of a leader though.
If I am to go direct as a social alpha male, I'm not being completely myself as I'm setting up a Mindset and I won't be fully unapologetic and confident. Picking up women will become harder because I don't want to fark up and I care about her opinion. But I will gain more friends.
So yeah, there's a contradiction there. I feel like if I can get the slightly depressed feeling out of the way which I get when I'm completely myself (egoist alpha male), the choice is easy. So I guess I should just work on that.
Perhaps I should also do more research on these two types.
So just now I did the Cube on myself. I found this book on it and it told me to perform it on myself first.
The cube is me.
The ladder represents my friends.
The horse is my lover.
The storm is trouble.
The flowers are children.
Here's what I described:
The cube: a little to the right in the middle, reasonably far away, medium size, made of iron.
The ladder: close to the front in the middle, tall, made of wood.
The horse: In between the cube and the ladder (in depth), normal sized, brown colored, looks at me.
The storm: Behind the cube, the cube and the horse are slightly raining wet, there's a small tornado on the ground (looks like the Tazmanian Devil from the Looney Tunes spinning around).
Flowers: Hundres of them, daisies, white, all on the left side.
Below the horizon: practical, worldly, down-to-earth, sensual.
All kinds of colors. Red: warm-hearted, tempered, passionate, aggressive. Green: hopeful, optimistic, ever-reviving, nature-loving,ecologically aware, wealthy.
Yellow: cheerful, upbeat, making people happy.
Distant: protective of your space, independent.
Brown: warm, earthy, sensual, unpretentious.
Near the cube: close to you, loyal, committed.
Descending into the ground: Help your self understanding, go deeply into your life, are undermining you.
New wood: are fairly new friends.
Behind the cube: in your past, ignored by you.
Electrical: shocking, illuminating.
Tornado: violent, destructive, acute.
Rainstorm: an emotional crisis, bringing tears, depressing, necessary for growth.
Far from the cube: other peoples, not a part of your life, living far away.
In the foreground: very important to you.
Many flowers: many children, your life's work, other peoples.
Wild growing: not your responsibility, entrusted to life.
My thoughts on the result
Most of this is pretty accurate. However, the horse represents a lover, which there isn't. Also, my friends aren't undermining me and the newest friends I have have been that for a year. Which isn't really new to me.
The storm is accurate. I've left my sh1t in the past, although it still comes back at me sometimes (horse and cube in front of storm but still slightly raining wet).
I don't really get the "many flowers" part because I don't have children, nor do I want them at the moment so they are totally not my life's work at all.
This was a pretty lengthy journal. I hope you enjoyed it and would love comments on the two types of alpha males and my cube, no matter what. Just post any thoughts you have.