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  1. #1
    nokins is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default help advice renwng relationship

    Ok i will try to be as descriptive as possibe. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 2 years. I have read all about pua before and during the beginning of our relationship i put it to play and it worked well.it staryed going down hill when my girlfriend made a comment about how i dont listen to hee and what she wants. I then took that seriously and afterwards began doing what she wanted. We moved in together after about a year. She is kinda weird and the first thing she complained about was the toilet seat being left up. Then it was cleaning and so on
    I listned and tried to do all these things thn it got to a point where she says im inconsiderate selfish and i dont listen. I believed i had stopped puttng pua rules in affect and this is why it was like this. But any way ths goes on for mnths. We would be great then fight. It got to the point where this co worker of hers came in the picture.i will admit i am insecure and dont like her talking to certain guys and i have asked her to see her phone. She showed me and told me he had been flirtng with her. She was also flrting back. He then tried to kiss her and she said she would leave him alone if it ever came down to that. Last night she decided to go out with the guy and her sister and i told her if she did that i was leaving. And i did exactly that. The day after she called me to see if i was ok and i said im fine but i think we need some space. She agreed and i told her i wuld call her sometime this week. Of course im not planning on doing it. Im doing nc rule.so after we got off the phone i ended up calling her back and trying to talk about what the problems were we talked about the problems and she said it wasnt him she didnt like him like that it was me. I told her she was right and eventually i again said i will call her sometme this week and she sid ok i can call her tomorow or whenever to talk. Now i dont know if i messed uo by calling her back to talk to her. She said she wanted to be herself and that i was like her shadow. Need any advice on what to do next and whats right thing to do when she doe call again? Thanks in advanc

  2. #2
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: help advice renwng relationship

    I'm going to take a quote from Swingcats book Real World Seduction.

    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth." -Friedrich Nietzche

    By giving up your "reality" and getting sucked into hers (You are selfish, inconsiderate, etc.) she slowly lost respect for you. There is no longer the spark that you had in the beginning.

    The good thing is that by you going the opposite direction (not taking her sh1t, not caring what she says, laughing when she insults you) then this should spiral her emotions out of wack and she will wonder why she is suddenly drawn to you. But what she doesn't understand is that it's because she wants your VALIDATION which she got very easily before and didn't have to work for it.

  3. #3
    nokins is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: help advice renwng relationship

    Thanks batman i see what u r saying. I understand where i went qeong and i know how to fix it for future reference but now i just need to figure out how to handle the situation im n. when should i show her attention? When she begs and apologizes? And what should i do if she doesnt beg but calls me back?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: help advice renwng relationship

    Not sure if she will actually beg. But the usual rules are at LEAST 3 weeks of absolutely NO CONTACT. Unless she contacts you first. When she does you must appear un-phased by pretty much anything she says. They say the best revenge is to live happy. So be humble by saying "I understand that the break up was for the best and I hope we can both find someone that will make us feel fullfilled." It's sort of cleans the pallet like ginger with sushi. Any further discussion of the relationship should be avoided at all costs. Focus on changing her MOOD, not her MIND. Then you can convey the attractive traits she saw in the beginning and allow her the emotional space to chase you.

  5. #5
    nokins is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: help advice renwng relationship

    Update: well it seems to be working she text me twice tonight asking where i was. Then she started cussin. I sent 1 message saying im home and that im sleepy and id talk to her tomorow. If she calls im gonna say, " i still think we need some space and ill call her later on in the week! I wanna keep this up until she apologizes and she wants to talk about our relationship. I dont wanna over push it tho.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: help advice renwng relationship

    This us a great step. You did fine. Keep in mind being mean also conveys you are affected by the situation. It helps to think of it as "Oh well...thats life." So anytime you upset her, its never your intention...which is more of an ice pick in the heart in my opinion.

    Again great job and keep it up.

  7. #7
    CrazyCanuckz is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: help advice renwng relationship

    If you get back with her you need to have a good talk with her. She was expecting you to change over and do things the way she wanted. The thing is males aren't raise the same as female. We do things differently. You need to explain to her that she needs to be patient. When you try to things she ask she should be saying thank you and encourage you to do better. It may take over months or even serveral years.
    What she did was wrong. Flirting with a guy when in a relationship lacks respect to the partner. Also instead her telling you to do this and that she should be asking you. E.g. Can you help me out? Please clean the kitchen....

    Only with patience encouragement you will do things the way she wants. But you need to set some rules for her. Nobody likes to be told what to do and then be harshly being judge for trying. Even two women will do things different.
    If she can't be patient with you then the relationship will be doomed. Nobody can do things perfectly in the first try. Ask her to something she can't do and show her that it isn't up to par what she should have done. Just show her by making do something. I hope she will eventually see that she needs to calm down.

    Good work, don't make wait her too long to talk to you. After she does have feelings. She probably learned her lesson. You just distance yourself with enough time that it isn't acceptable behavior.


    Good luck!


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